Checking on a cheater...
by, 03-15-17 at 08:07 AM (1753 Views)
In looking over Tom's cell phone call logs, I have found much truth. It has been a cathartic process as well as enlightening, maddening and, most of all, sad.
Tom's cell phone records show that every month for the last eight (as far back as the online records go) Tom made an average of 140 calls a month to his girlfriend. She rarely called him, and when she did? It was always a minute after he'd called her. I've extrapolated that she didn't call him out of the blue because it might be awkward for him if I were there. So he always called her.
Since I keep a date book, that gave me some helpful information as well. When I was at girl's night out, for example. One two minute call to her just after I left. No more calls. That would be because they were together.
The few times I went to Florida with my cousin for three or four days? Hardly any calls. Because they were together. Same when I went to Michigan overnight. He made calls when he was out walking the dog, after I was asleep. Such a liar. I cannot believe I was deceived for so long.
When we got back together, Tom said, I won't ever contact her again. You can even have my phone if you want it. Now, of course, I read, "I now have a burner phone." He told me that I could do anything that would help me trust him again, including his wearing an ankle monitor. (Kidding, of course.)
But I took him up on his "anything" offer and put a GPS tracker on his car. I was gone for the day the first day I had it attached. My cousin and I went to Michigan.
I asked Tom if he had a nice day...if he watched the Iditerod live feed, etc. and then said, so I know you drove by her house today. He swore up and down. NOT TRUE. DID NOT. I swear! "Why do you think That???" "Women's intuition," I said.
When I told him Sue and I had driven by her house just before we came home, he was shocked. I thought it was because he didn't think I knew where she lived. What he was shocked about was that Sue dropped me off at 5:30. Anyhow, a little while later, he admitted he'd driven by.
When I checked the tracker later, it all became clear. it showed him driving by her house four times that day. Never stopped, I assume he could tell she wasn't home. But quite obviously, it's not over. His last drive-by was at 5:20 PM just before we got home. He thought we'd seen him there. We hadn't.
I know those reading this think I've gone loony, but that is the life of a woman who's been cheated on and wants to forgive him. Everything becomes trust but verify.
i don't know what I'm going to do. I've spoken with an animal rescue group for rehoming my dog and three cats. I'm trying to give myself options as I start my final journey. I have another scan in two weeks to see if they will continue chemo. I had always thought Tom would be with me when I entered hospice. Eighteen years is a long time. But I doubt I'll want him here.
There is nothing much lower than betraying a dying woman. Why would I want him?
Oh, and for those who wonder, the GPS tracker cost $425. The online maps, live feed, reports, etc., etc. costs $30 a month.
I'm so glad I have this blog.
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