View RSS Feed


Bums guide to dating

Rate this Entry
Dating or the social scene has never been a skill of mine; between a life in the Armed Forces which bounced me around the globe, and a genetic inability to be anything but awkward and clumsy in the presence of the opposite sex, I was relegated to the occasional “blind date” set up by my fellow soldiers of their wives.

Well, that changed one day many years back when the Bum was a bit younger; I had spent my career thus far as a combat medic going wherever the Light Infantry ( never kid yourself, there is nothing light about light infantry) went…..this usually meant humping a large pack on my back, and an additional load of medical supplies in my trauma bag while nature walking through the woods for days on end.

I wanted something different….and as all field medics do, I dreamed of an assignment to a nice clean hospital with 9-5 hours; So, I submitted a request to go to the Army’s nursing program…I was accepted, and soon found myself back at Fort Sam Houston, in San Antonio Texas….home of the Army medical command, and all around good time place next to the river walk.

The Riverwalk….pride of San Antonio and just a nice place to go watch people, enjoy yourself, and, as in my case….visit “Dicks last Resort”….those from San Antonio will know the place, and appreciate the ambiance and setting; lights, people, the smell of good food, and the Bum, sitting outside of Dicks on the sidewalk with a cold beer and a bucket of French fries in the fall evening air…Life was good.

The she came.

As I was sitting, enjoying my Beer and fries, and congratulating myself on my overall good fortune at having been selected to the nursing program and envisioning myself already in my clean Hospital whites and temperature controlled hospital, it happened.

This little redhead walked up to my table and plopped down into the chair across from me and began eating my fries.

Now, I am not a particularly large person…a shade under 6’3….generally referred to as the runt of the litter among my male siblings, despite being the oldest; yet this redhead ( whom we shall refer to as the strawberry wench) would not have come to my nose wearing high heels, had, without so much as blinking an eye, descended upon my feeding grounds and began to help herself to my fries.

Quick side note….growing up in a family of 3 boys and 3 girls can be a bit challenging at times, and mealtime in particular can only be accurately described as a “feral event”, and that’s being polite…..a brother or sister reaching onto another siblings plate usually resulted in blood drawn.

So….you can imagine my surprise when this…this….teeny female, began eating my food.

After a few fries she looked at me and said, “You don’t mind do you? I’m starving”….to which I replied “uh”. After a few moments she looked down at my hands, and looked back up and ask “Why do you have calluses on your knuckles”? Replying with the same suaveness as before , I said “umm”.
After nearly killing off my fries, she looks up and says “ I’m bored, let’s go across the canal and go dancing”.

Naturally, I did the only thing I could at that point, I raised my arm and said “ check please”.

26 years, 2 kids, 5 cats, and half a dozen moves around the world, she is still taking food off my plate, and I am still as smooth a talker now as I was then.
Member Blog


  1. <alt>doxygen's Avatar
    That's pretty cute.

    Your wife grabbed you buy the fries and never let go. I hope she didn't also drink your beer.

    That would be going too far, imo.
  2. Bum's Avatar
    Quote Originally Posted by <alt>doxygen
    That's pretty cute.

    Your wife grabbed you buy the fries and never let go. I hope she didn't also drink your beer.

    That would be going too far, imo.
    Fortunately, she considerer beer "cave man food" and thinks it smells like old socks......but she does have taste for the occasional dessert wine and cordials.
  3. Mach's Avatar
    For all one's varied strengths, it inevitably leaves a wide swath of weaknesses...and luckily because it helps make the world go around.

    I recently did the Riverwalk with my wife and daughter for a few days, nice place to have such a milestone of a memory.


Total Trackbacks 0
Trackback URL: