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The Strawberry Gospel

R

Rumpel

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God has created this world so that we should enjoy it, hasn't HE?

And therefore we should also enjoy the wonderful strawberries!

Now go forth and do likewise!
Amen.

Gospel according to Saint Rumpelus
 
Rumpel said:
God has created this world so that we should enjoy it, hasn't HE?

And therefore we should also enjoy the wonderful strawberries!

Now go forth and do likewise!
Amen.

Gospel according to Saint Rumpelus
Click to expand...

Man, That's deep Rumpel
 
And now, dear brethren and sisters, let us sing and pray:


Strawberry fields forever!


While the organ is playing the tune.
 
What do you think of the Great Reformation ?

One of those world History changes
 
All things dull and ugly,
All creatures short and squat,
All things rude and nasty,
The Lord God made the lot.

Each little snake that poisons,
Each little wasp that stings,
He made their brutish venom.
He made their horrid wings.

All things sick and cancerous,
All evil great and small,
All things foul and dangerous,
The Lord God made them all.

Each nasty little hornet,
Each beastly little squid,
Who made the spikey urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!

All things scabbed and ulcerous,
All pox both great and small,
Putrid, foul and gangrenous,
The Lord God made them all.

Amen.
 
Rumpel said:
God has created this world so that we should enjoy it, hasn't HE?

And therefore we should also enjoy the wonderful strawberries!

Now go forth and do likewise!
Amen.

Gospel according to Saint Rumpelus
Click to expand...

what did the strawberries do to piss god off?

 
Strawberries are good, but I like turtles.

 
Man, I'd be careful to eat fruits created by God.
 
HumblePi said:
Strawberries are good, but I like turtles.
Click to expand...

I prefer strawberries! :)
And I only eat mock turtle soup - famous since "Alice in Wonderland". :)
 
Rumpel said:
And now, dear brethren and sisters, let us sing and pray:


Strawberry fields forever!


While the organ is playing the tune.
Click to expand...

You should lay off the hard stuff...:2razz:
 
Rumpel:

I disavow and abjure the Gospel of Strawberry and instead will spread the Gospel of Cherry. The Stawberry is a false prophet and the Cherry is the true messiah of the Frutine Church and the fruity-faithful. Behold the Cherry in all its beauty and divine glory. Do not be tempted down the pitiless road to perdition. Abjure the strawberry as the work of the Devil and take up the good news of the Cherry. Ecce divina cerasus.

Cherries and be well to all the Cherry faithful. To the Strawbites, repent!
Evilroddy.

Edit: is condemning heresy considered derailing a thread?
 
Last edited:
@ Evilroddy

Verily, verily, I say unto thee:
If thou dost not honour the strawberries of our fore-fathers Salomon and David - how will you ever enter the paradise?
So now go forth and enjoy the divine strawberries, so that you will have eternal bliss!
And do not spare sugar and cream!
 
Evilroddy said:
Rumpel:

I disavow and abjure the Gospel of Strawberry and instead will spread the Gospel of Cherry. The Stawberry is a false prophet and the Cherry is the true messiah of the Frutine Church and the fruity-faithful. Behold the Cherry in all its beauty and divine glory. Do not be tempted down the pitiless road to perdition. Abjure the strawberry as the work of the Devil and take up the good news of the Cherry. Ecce divina cerasus.

Cherries and be well to all the Cherry faithful. To the Strawbites, repent!
Evilroddy.

Edit: is condemning heresy considered derailing a thread?
Click to expand...

The Gospel of Cherries may be tolerated!
But beware of the false teachings of the Apples!

Apples are satanic!
Remember the Snake in Paradise Lost!
 
Rumpel said:
The Gospel of Cherries may be tolerated!
But beware of the false teachings of the Apples!

Apples are satanic!
Remember the Snake in Paradise Lost!
Click to expand...

Rumpel:

Oui, c'est tellement vrai! Ca c'est la pomme infernale! (Yes, that's very true! That is the infernal apple!). The official language of the Cherryite School of exegesis is French by the way. As a Strawbite, I strongly urge you to repent, mend your errors and follow the true Cherry Gospel. Then together we can struggle as one against Satan's cohort of infernal Appleites (Les gens de la pomme infernale).

Cheers and be well before you burn in hell for your Strawbite heresy.
Evilroddy.
 
Last edited:
Rumpel said:
@ Evilroddy

Verily, verily, I say unto thee:
If thou dost not honour the strawberries of our fore-fathers Salomon and David - how will you ever enter the paradise?
So now go forth and enjoy the divine strawberries, so that you will have eternal bliss!
And do not spare sugar and cream!
Click to expand...

Heresy! False Prophet! Beguiler of the innocent and tempter or of the weak. Begone, with your false Strawbite lies or repent and correct your errors by coming to the bussom of Cherryite orthodoxy and love. I am the lion of Cherryism and the Hammer of orthodoxy. Recant your errors and join the one true universal Cherryite faith. Ecce divination cerasus!

Cheers and be well before being consumed in the fires of perdition for heresy.
Evilroddy.
 
Rumpel said:
@ Evilroddy

Verily, verily, I say unto thee:
If thou dost not honour the strawberries of our fore-fathers Salomon and David - how will you ever enter the paradise?
So now go forth and enjoy the divine strawberries, so that you will have eternal bliss!
And do not spare sugar and cream!
Click to expand...

How dare you blaspheme against his Holy Noodleness!
 
Credo in Unam Sanctam Apostolicam et Strawberriecam Ecclesiam!
In English: I believe in the ONE HOLY APOSTOLIC and STRAWBERRIAN CHURCH!


Praise be to Santa Fragaria! :peace

I can say no more! :cool:
 
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