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Does heaven have gravity?

Frigidweirdo

Frigidweirdo

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Basically human beings have a mouth at the top of the body and an ass at the bottom of the body because of gravity. It's why fish don't have a mouth at the top and an ass at the bottom, because gravity doesn't impact their digestion system, they're more concerned with moving through water and so their mouth is at the front and ass at the back.

So, why bring this up? Well, apparently, according to some religion people, humans were made in the image of God. Which means God lives in gravity, because his digestive system is top to bottom.

So, does heaven have gravity?
 
Frigidweirdo said:
Basically human beings have a mouth at the top of the body and an ass at the bottom of the body because of gravity. It's why fish don't have a mouth at the top and an ass at the bottom, because gravity doesn't impact their digestion system, they're more concerned with moving through water and so their mouth is at the front and ass at the back.

So, why bring this up? Well, apparently, according to some religion people, humans were made in the image of God. Which means God lives in gravity, because his digestive system is top to bottom.

So, does heaven have gravity?
Click to expand...

Beware of Zeus lighting his own fart.
 
An imaginary place can have anything.
 
Frigidweirdo said:
Basically human beings have a mouth at the top of the body and an ass at the bottom of the body because of gravity. It's why fish don't have a mouth at the top and an ass at the bottom, because gravity doesn't impact their digestion system, they're more concerned with moving through water and so their mouth is at the front and ass at the back.

So, why bring this up? Well, apparently, according to some religion people, humans were made in the image of God. Which means God lives in gravity, because his digestive system is top to bottom.

So, does heaven have gravity?
Click to expand...

I don't know but I suspect God (if such a being exists) probably has enough peristalsis to flatten a large water heater to thimble size.

Also, do dogs have a mouth at the top and an ass at the bottom? Not unless they are standing on their hind legs.
In any case, Zeuss's farts are deadly.
I know because a friend had a Great Dane named Zeuss.
 
Frigidweirdo said:
Basically human beings have a mouth at the top of the body and an ass at the bottom of the body because of gravity. It's why fish don't have a mouth at the top and an ass at the bottom, because gravity doesn't impact their digestion system, they're more concerned with moving through water and so their mouth is at the front and ass at the back.

So, why bring this up? Well, apparently, according to some religion people, humans were made in the image of God. Which means God lives in gravity, because his digestive system is top to bottom.

So, does heaven have gravity?
Click to expand...

That is not how man was made in God's image...God is a spirit, man is not...
 
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Frigidweirdo said:
Basically human beings have a mouth at the top of the body and an ass at the bottom of the body because of gravity. It's why fish don't have a mouth at the top and an ass at the bottom, because gravity doesn't impact their digestion system, they're more concerned with moving through water and so their mouth is at the front and ass at the back.

So, why bring this up? Well, apparently, according to some religion people, humans were made in the image of God. Which means God lives in gravity, because his digestive system is top to bottom.

So, does heaven have gravity?
Click to expand...

:lamo:lamo:lamo


I think you have too much time on your hands. :lamo
 
Frigidweirdo said:
Basically human beings have a mouth at the top of the body and an ass at the bottom of the body because of gravity. It's why fish don't have a mouth at the top and an ass at the bottom, because gravity doesn't impact their digestion system, they're more concerned with moving through water and so their mouth is at the front and ass at the back.

So, why bring this up? Well, apparently, according to some religion people, humans were made in the image of God. Which means God lives in gravity, because his digestive system is top to bottom.

So, does heaven have gravity?
Click to expand...

Apparently in that scenario. It's as good a one as I've ever heard.
 
Elvira said:
That is not how man was made in God's image...God is a spirit, man is not...
Click to expand...

The problem is people always draw God looking like a man.
 
EnigmaO01 said:
:lamo:lamo:lamo


I think you have too much time on your hands. :lamo
Click to expand...

Imagine if I had enough time on my hands to invent a god, and a whole religious fantasy story.
 
Omega Man said:
Would that suggest that God has a penis?


OM
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Look what happened to Jesus's foreskin.

Allatius rejected this idea. Allatius was the keeper of the Vatican library, and in De Praeputio Domini Nostri Jesu Christi Diatriba (Discussion Concerning the Prepuce [Foreskin] of our Lord Jesus Christ) he proposed that, as Jesus ascended, he left a bit of himself in the heavens: “the holy foreskin may have ascended into heaven at the same time as Jesus himself, and might have become the rings of Saturn.”

The Mysteries of Saturn
 
Rich2018 said:
But the Bible says god has an image - he looks like man

God walked through the Garden of Eden.
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Wrong...no one has seen God and lived so we do not know what He looks like, only that He is a spirit...any picture you've seen depicting Him is merely a speculation...
 
Elvira said:
Wrong...no one has seen God and lived so we do not know what He looks like, only that He is a spirit...any picture you've seen depicting Him is merely a speculation...
Click to expand...

Since man is not immortal (as opposed to Mormons who think Adam and Eve were) as you claimed, it's not surprising.

Then again you don't think that Jesus is god.
 
Rich2018 said:
Since man is not immortal (as opposed to Mormons who think Adam and Eve were) as you claimed, it's not surprising.

Then again you don't think that Jesus is god.
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True...that is not what I say but what the Bible says...
 
Elvira said:
True...that is not what I say but what the Bible says...
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The Bible says Adam and Eve saw god...but didn't die

Mormons believe A&E were created as immortal and after the expulsion god created a "sin gene" to ensure no man born of them (and presumably the women of Nod) would live forever and be vulnerable to all the viruses god also created. Like AIDs.
 
Rich2018 said:
The Bible says Adam and Eve saw god...but didn't die

Mormons believe A&E were created as immortal and after the expulsion god created a "sin gene" to ensure no man born of them (and presumably the women of Nod) would live forever and be vulnerable to all the viruses god also created. Like AIDs.
Click to expand...

Nope, the Bible says they heard the voice of God...as for "face of Jehovah God", Moses also recalled to Israel that God spoke “face to face” with them, since they heard the loud voice at Sinai, though none of them actually saw Jehovah, as shown by the following texts.​...Deuteronomy 5:4; 4:11-15; Hebrews 12:19....to say or do anything ‘to one’s face’ indicates directness, an open confrontation, as shown by the following texts...Deuteronomy 7:10; Job 21:31...

I cannot help what others believe...I go by what the Bible says...
 
Elvira said:
Nope, the Bible says they heard the voice of God...as for "face of Jehovah God", Moses also recalled to Israel that God spoke “face to face” with them, since they heard the loud voice at Sinai, though none of them actually saw Jehovah, as shown by the following texts.​...Deuteronomy 5:4; 4:11-15; Hebrews 12:19....to say or do anything ‘to one’s face’ indicates directness, an open confrontation, as shown by the following texts...Deuteronomy 7:10; Job 21:31...

I cannot help what others believe...I go by what the Bible says...
Click to expand...

Heard the voice of god and hid. The Bible makes no mention of god's invisibility when he took human form to walk through Eden, like when god spoke the A&E beforehand.
God after all looks like a human. God can't "look" like anything if he's spirit or invisible.

Genesis 18 - god appeared in human form to Abraham too.
 
Omega Man said:
Would that suggest that God has a penis?


OM
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Well, I wouldn't suggest God actually exists. But you'd have to presume these religious people think that. Though perhaps they see him like a Ken doll.
 
Frigidweirdo said:
Well, I wouldn't suggest God actually exists. But you'd have to presume these religious people think that. Though perhaps they see him like a Ken doll.
Click to expand...

No wonder he's so frustrated.
 
Frigidweirdo said:
Basically human beings have a mouth at the top of the body and an ass at the bottom of the body because of gravity. It's why fish don't have a mouth at the top and an ass at the bottom, because gravity doesn't impact their digestion system, they're more concerned with moving through water and so their mouth is at the front and ass at the back.

So, why bring this up? Well, apparently, according to some religion people, humans were made in the image of God. Which means God lives in gravity, because his digestive system is top to bottom.

So, does heaven have gravity?
Click to expand...

This actually raises a much more important issue. I know a lot of people who have asses right on top of their shoulders. Are they holding the secret to discovering antigravity?
 
Tlrmln said:
This actually raises a much more important issue. I know a lot of people who have asses right on top of their shoulders. Are they holding the secret to discovering antigravity?
Click to expand...


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