I completely get what you are saying. However, I do honestly feel that sad/depressing/troubling shows and even songs have a way of making one feel better. At least they do with me. It's almost like they make me feel that I am not alone. In a lot of ways, I can relate to the main character in Fleabag. Apart from the back door stuff, though. :lol:
Interesting, I had never thought of it this way, that these dark and sad shows and songs make one feel better, maybe by comparison (as in, "fortunately my life is not as f.....ed up as this character's"). That's not something that affects me personally. If I compare my life to poor Fleabag's, mine is definitely a lot happier; I come from a non-dysfunctional family and I am in a happy, solid marriage; my wife and I have two equally happy and successful children. But even if I'm not personally affected, I kind of feel sad for the unfortunate people who face the problems that she faces... and without spoiling it for those who haven't seen the show, the twist at the end of the first season is very shocking; it would have been devastating if it happened to a real person. Fleabag herself is a very good person, a much better one than most of the other characters, but she is someone who made a terrible mistake and the guilt she experiences must be overwhelming.
So, the issue of recommending it, is that it is advertised as a comedy, but even though it is outrageously funny in parts, it is also very true that, like you perfectly put it, you laugh AND you cry. So people who are just hoping for a kinky comedy are in for a bitter surprise, when they realize that the show is very funny all right, but it is also very depressing.
Hehe, the back door thing is kind of gross... and I suspect the author/director/actress included it for shock value, and for the sake of the psychological arc of the whole show: it starts like a gross comedy... but oh my god, doesn't it evolve nicely to brilliantly written drama?
Anyway, the bottom line is that the show is freaking brilliant. On these grounds, it is nice to recommend it to anyone who wants to watch a super-high quality show that is so thought-provoking and deep. But on grounds of its emotional impact, maybe it's kind of iffy to recommend it to some people. I think that my friend who asked me if she should see it, is already a bit on the depressed side and does struggle with family issues and marital issues... so I was afraid that the message would hit home too hard and she'd be too sad, if she watched it. So, I ended up saying, "nah, don't watch it, it won't be good for you, you'll regret it if you do."
I realize that it's a bit patronizing... but I care deeply for this friend and I just don't want her to suffer. I think she'd be crying non-stop if she watched it.
But maybe you're right... maybe she'd feel better, by comparison. I don't know.