Wrestlemania 33

Any one else going to watch? Card and my predictions/comments:

Note, before some one pipes in with "derp, did you know wrestling is fake, derp?", yes, I and the rest of those watching today except for some kids know that wrestling is scripted, thanks for asking.

WWE Championship Match-Bray Wyatt (c) vs. Randy Orton: weird feel to this one, the "face" is an arsonist who stabbed the "heal" in the back, the heal is way over with the crowds. Wyatt should get the win, it would do more for him, but Orton will almost certainly be booked to win.

Universal Championship Match-Goldberg (c) vs. Brock Lesnar: So the big spectacle championship match features a part timer vs a part timer who is out of breath walking to the ring and has a total of 5 minutes of wrestling in the last decade. Lesnar should win, and then transition the title to the next guy, but really, who knows for sure on this. Maybe Goldberg agreed to more dates again and so gets to hold onto the belt for awhile longer?

The Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns: Likely final match of the night, and of Undertaker's career(and he does need to retire, his body is in rough shape). Undertaker is as old school as they come, and old school says you go out on your back, so Reigns likely wins. The audience is going to **** all over this match and that ending. Even if they officially turn Reigns heel, fans are still going to hate everything about this match except Undertaker.

John Cena & Nikki Bella vs. The Miz & Maryse: The Miz has been incredible in the buildup for this, making me almost care about it. Miz has been great for the last year in fact. He should win, but won't. Rumor is Cena proposes after the match, so that means he has to be booked to win.

Seth Rollins vs. Triple H: either Rollins wins, or there is so much overbooked interference and shenanigans that it is a mess. Look for Joe, Finn Balor, Zayn, Owens to get involved.

Shane McMahon vs. AJ Styles: alot of the internet fans hate this match. I do not think it will be good, but Shane will pull off an epic holy **** spot, and Styles will bump and carry the match to something watchable. Styles should win and get moved to Raw.

Bayley (c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks vs. Nia Jax: this will be a cluster****, but there is too much talent in there for it not to be a fun cluster****. Bayley or Sasha probably wins, lets go with Sasha turns heel and wins.

Chris Jericho (c) vs. Kevin Owens: Jericho's band has a tour coming up, so he needs to drop the belt before he takes the time off. Should be one of the more entertaining matches if they manage to not overbook the thing terribly.

Dean Ambrose (c) vs. Baron Corbin: winner: my bladder. Perfect bathroom break match.

Luke Gallows & Karl Anderson (c) vs. Enzo Amore & Big Cass vs. Cesaro & Sheamus: The artists formerly known as the Bullet Club should win. Really, as long as Amore is not one of the winners, I am happy.

The Fourth Annual Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal: Give it to Big Show for all he has done over the years. Probably Strowman wins tho.

Champion Alexa Bliss to defend against all female SmackDown LIVE Superstars who are available to compete: gawd, they are probably going to give the win to Naomi.

Neville (c) vs. Austin Aries: this might be the match I am most looking forward to. When WWE reformed the cruiser-weight division, it was a bunch of guys no one cared about, doing matches that used workrate instead of storytelling. Neville made the division interesting and gave it some one interesting. Aries will make the division great. Since Aries has the best package, he should win.

That's why they'll put Taker-Reigns last, knowing the audience will **** on it. Why put it in middle and let the angst ruin the rest of the night? I was at 23 and i can tell you everyone hated that Cena won against another of their idols, but watching on tv you'd have no idea. Fireworks + theme music + announcer going ballistic = you can't hear the crowd, which is filing out the exit anyway

Other reason is to put Reigns over as much possible, not that it will help

And finally, they might have decided Goldberg-Lesnar will be another 30 second over-before-ya-know-it, which cannot be the last match. But no, Gberg said he's miserable trying to keep in shape after 14 years away and 14 years older, while Lesnar left UFC due to his ban from PED test. It's clear who's sticking around for a title run and on top of that, Gberg destroying Lesnar at SSeries and Rumble (and winning the ****show way back at WM 20) should make the revenge even more clear

But no, i'll torrent instead like the last few years. The one A+ wrestler they have is Styles and inexplicably he'll be thrown against an over the hill non wrestler. What saddens me about this year in particular though is how predictable the matches are due to RL issues. Too much reliance on part timers (even the Cena match is utterly predictable), guys with injuries about to retire, and guys with side businesses will do that. You basically have to avoid any of their public comments to not be aware that Jericho has tour coming and Taker came back too soon after surgery or whatever

Like Bret Hart said recently, the fans want to think it's real at least for the brief moment of the match, and that even extends to Stephanie being a bully on the show while at the same time involved in the "Be a Star" crap. In the social media age, acting in character even off the show has become a lost art (even look at all the former wrestler podcasts the company sponsors) and it's damaged the suspension of disbelief during the show