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Tabletop RPG Humor

Brochacholomigo

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Has anybody on here played a tabletop rpg before (Dungeons & Dragons, Call of Cthulhu, etc.)?

Anyway, here's a place to talk about some of the funnier things that have happened to you during a game, to post relevant memes, or to tell jokes about the games.

Enjoy.
 
How many Elves does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one. He hold it up, and the universe revolves around him.




How many Orcs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Three. One to hold the lightbulb, and two to turn the ladder.
 
started with a game called chain mail

gary gygax then turned that into dungeons and dragons

was a huge player, and DM for about 10 years until the middle 80's

i DM'ed a couple of Origins D&D tournaments....

had a lot of fun back in the early years....met a lot of great people....
 
Never played D&D, but I'm plenty familiar with WH40K humor. :lol:

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started with a game called chain mail

gary gygax then turned that into dungeons and dragons

was a huge player, and DM for about 10 years until the middle 80's

i DM'ed a couple of Origins D&D tournaments....

had a lot of fun back in the early years....met a lot of great people....

I'm new to D&D myself. It's the new experience I've enjoyed the most since I started college.
 
"WHAT'S THE CRIT ON A CELESTIAL BADGER???!!!"

having to nickle and dime damage panicking in dire situations....
 
"You can't detect any magic on the door.

You can't detect any traps around the door.

No, the door is not evil.

No, you can't intimidate the door.

Because it's a ****ing door, Jesse."

-The DM in my campaign​
 
STOP! This door is trapped. *fiddles with door, misses detect trap roll*. There, I have disarmed it. NOW it's safe to proceed, you bumbling oafs. What the hell would you do without me keeping you guys from setting off every trap in this place!?
 
"You don't see any traps in the tavern.

Because there aren't any traps in the tavern.

No, there aren't any invisible traps either.

Goddamnit, Jesse..."

-My DM​
 
I'm new to D&D myself. It's the new experience I've enjoyed the most since I started college.

there are actually a few different D&D games

depends on how anal retentive the DM wants to be

you can get so much into minutiae that you lose the flavor and fun of the game

what i recommend is less worry about weights carried, speed of weapons, and so on

and more into the story of the game....that is where the DM can really shine

describing the visuals, letting the players figure out to get through the traps, pitfalls, and mysteries of the adventure

enjoy the game...great way to pass a few hours and have a lot of fun

i had marathon sessions back then....when i was young, and had the endurance, and little to no responsibility
 
"You can't detect any magic on the door.

You can't detect any traps around the door.

No, the door is not evil.

No, you can't intimidate the door.

Because it's a ****ing door, Jesse."

-The DM in my campaign​

you wasting all that time on every door?

lmao

relax....whats the worst that can happen?

think raiders of the lost ark, and the opening cave sequence that Indiana Jones had to go through

that is what you would find in my adventures....but spaced out.....never knew when or where you would have a 40000 lb rock rolling down a hallway towards you
 
"You don't see any traps in the tavern.

Because there aren't any traps in the tavern.

No, there aren't any invisible traps either.

Goddamnit, Jesse..."

-My DM​

until you have been the DM, it is hard to understand why they get frustrated

i would take weeks to plan out events, and things that i wanted the group to encounter

my regular group was 9-10 players, and me....fairly large to DM

try getting that many people to agree to anything....lol

give your DM a break....most really try to put on a good and fair adventure.....which is what the game is all about
 
you wasting all that time on every door?

lmao

relax....whats the worst that can happen?

think raiders of the lost ark, and the opening cave sequence that Indiana Jones had to go through

that is what you would find in my adventures....but spaced out.....never knew when or where you would have a 40000 lb rock rolling down a hallway towards you

It's an exaggeration, mostly. I occasionally like to screw around with the DM like that. What I usually do is try to tame every animal in sight.

"No, you can't tame the Illithid. You're free to try, though."

Edit: I only did this twice, and both times were getting back at the DM for trolling me before.
 
It's an exaggeration, mostly. I occasionally like to screw around with the DM like that. What I usually do is try to tame every animal in sight.

"No, you can't tame the Illithid. You're free to try, though."

druid?

very rarely had anyone roll one of those up

hard to play....absolute neutral is not easy to do
 
Has anybody on here played a tabletop rpg before (Dungeons & Dragons, Call of Cthulhu, etc.)?

Anyway, here's a place to talk about some of the funnier things that have happened to you during a game, to post relevant memes, or to tell jokes about the games.

Enjoy.

My partner is a bit into tabletop, and knowing me as he does, he found a game that he knew I would like the moment he saw it.

It's called Fiasco.

To make a long story short, his role wound up being a fairly low-level criminal doing a drug trade. He's experienced with RPG, so he was doing a pretty good job being in character.

Outside the game, it was damn hot in the apartment. It was summer, the bestie had spent about 3 hours cooking all the amazing things in the kitchen, so it was just boiling.

It might also be relevant to know a bit about what he looks like. We call him Redbeard. He's a rather imposing-looking man whose chest is barrelled enough to fit at least 2 of me inside of it. He has that big, squared kind of face that you usually see on guys built like that. He's a softie in reality, but if he had decided to go the crime route instead, I don't think he would have too many issues getting people to back off him.

At one point, he was negotiating a drug deal that was rapidly going wrong, when he picked something of my bestie's up off the table.

It was a ruffled fan. Ya know, like a lady might take to a ball.

So he sat there, with his mean-face on, negotiating this drug deal like a loose cannon ready to just shoot the guy... and fanning himself with a lacey woman's accessory.

Not gonna lie. We bring it up to him every chance we get.
 
world of warcraft

i did that also

for a bunch of years

It(WoW) kinda lacks, but the sentiment of the meme is I think fitting.
 
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OMG, It's been years since 35 years since I played D&D back in San Diego.

We'd have week end marathon games that would run from Friday night to Sunday evening.




I remember creating a magic flashlight and giving one to teammates - that really pissed out DM off.


>>>>
 
A Drow, too. Sadly, there aren't any giant spiders around where my campaign is set.

drow are inherently evil....surprised that DM allowed you to roll that

wood elf...yes
half elf...yes

drow...no

but it is his world...his rules....one of the things i loved about the game....

if i didnt like a rule in the guides....i changed it
 
"You can't detect any magic on the door.

You can't detect any traps around the door.

No, the door is not evil.

No, you can't intimidate the door.

Because it's a ****ing door, Jesse."

-The DM in my campaign​

xD " I flip a copper piece at the door"
....dungeons littered with copper pieces where I have played xD
 
It(WoW) kinda lacks, but the sentiment of the meme is I think fitting.

they changed the game to suit the casual gamer

which is where the money is nowadays

made it way to easy to level....and nerfed the entire game

it was epic for a while

best mmorpg that i ever saw
 
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