Lets party. We are all going to be millionaires.

danarhea · 10-03-08, 05:48 PM

Lost in the news this week, as Congress voted on giving incompetents another trillion dollars, as Wall Street went on its crazy roller coaster ride, and as America watched Sarah Palin actually put two words together to make a coherent sentence, was another piece of news - our national debt went over 10 trillion (thats trillion with a t) dollars.

Since there are now 305,000,000 people in the United States, the national debt amounts to $32,786.89 per man, woman and child living in the United States of America. There is only one way to spin this data, and come out of it not pissed off enough to stick my foot up the ass of every congressman, and the president as well. It is obvious that President Bush wants us to ALL be millionaires. Just as soon as that hyperinflation kicks in, I will be floating in more paper money than the mascot of the Monopoly game. So, what will it be like being a millionaire in the soon to be world of tomorrow?

1) I can brag to my friends that I am a millionaire. Wait, NO, dammit, I can't. They will all be millionaires too.

2) Every citizen of America, from the richest, all the way down to the homeless, will become an elitist. No more class warfare.

3) It will be the end of at least one insipid game show. Nobody will want to be just a millionaire any more. However, its replacement will be just as stupid. And Howie Mandell? He will be out of work. No deal, Howie. Not for a measley million bucks. That show too, will be replaced by another stupid game show. How about "How fast can you flush a million bucks down a toilet"? On this show, the winner gets to take the toilet home with him (Toilets are now worth 500 million).

4) Telling someone that he or she looks like a million bucks will now be the ultimate insult. Feel like having a good knock down, drag out fight? Then go ahead. Say it. I dare ya'.

5) America will become the smartest nation in the whole world. After all, we will all need to be able to work differential equations just to balance our checkbooks.

6) Every illegal alien will make the new minimum wage of 10 bucks an hour. Did anybody think we owed it to them to make them millionaires too? If they don't like it, I hear that wages are higher south of the border now.

7) We can ALL be members of the investor class. Me? I think I will invest my millions in real estate. I will buy a cardboard box, set it up under a freeway overpass, and charge rent.

8) As a member of the elite new crop of millionaires in America, I may just be lucky enough to be able to buy a pot to piss in. Will cross my fingers and hope.

9) We will all have money to burn - Literally.

10) And, if we are all smart, we will NOT allow Congressional salaries to increase. Screw em all. After all, they are responsible. Let them eat crap laden cakes, and if they repent and truly want to be millionaires, like the rest of us (and the homeless too), then they can prove it by representing the people, and their Country, for a change.

Thank you, President Bush. Your intelligence, leadership, and ability, all rolled up together, are worth about........

a million bucks.

jujuman13 · 10-03-08, 06:24 PM

A number of years ago, I was visiting Turkey (The Country, not the bird), i had a meal which when I requested the check came to over 1,000,000 Lira.
A few weeks later I visited Italy and informed an Italian colleague that I had had a meal which cost over 1,000,000 Lira.
Needless to say he did not believe me (thinking I was talking about having had a meal in Italy), until I shewed him my receipt.
As you say, we may well all become Millionaires, what you failed to mention is that under any Democratic Government our taxes would be 60% of whatever we earned.

BmanMcfly · 10-03-08, 06:56 PM

Danarhea - I'm sorry, but you've got quite the wishful thinking going on...

1 - 700B 'bailout'/'rescue'/heist is really a 700B LINE OF CREDIT -> by the time this is over the tab will likely be in the 5-7 TRILLION$.

2 - You are assuming that the hyper-inflation will also come with an increase in the rates of pay... maybe but not likely... more likely it will be a hyper inflation + no jobs

3 - It's ok tho, the government will keep you safe : those darth vader costumed cops are really military, and those guns and tanks are for your protection. (Re:Martial law will be enforced)

4 - Now comes time to pay out on that debt... since there are so few people with jobs the remaining working people will have to pay 70-80% in taxes.

5 - Homelessness will skyrocket : If you've never seen a shanty town or tent cities, get used to it.

I could go on...

Let me give you an idea of what you might be able to expect over the next whille :

- Because of a 5Trillion$ surge in liquidity, over the next year or two the rest of the world will realize that the Dollar is a dead horse, and will scrap the dollar. The value of the dollar will freefall to about the level of a peso. Canada's economy will fall shortly after (since the majority of Canadian business is conducted with the US, knocking down that pillar will collapse other economies around the world)... Once all 3 North American currencies are around the same value the 'solution' will be provided... create the Amero to combine the 3 currencies (US, Canada and Mexico) and combine the 3 countries, so that the American bankers can take advantage of Canada's natural ressources, and Mexico's cheap labour supply.

Further, if you throw in a war with Russia that could quickly turn to a nuclear world war 3. Once the dust settles, the governing elites will tell the world, "We must make sure this type of conflict NEVER happens again. We must have a global government." A new world order... like Bush Sr said "Where the rule of law would replace the law of the jungle." (10 years to the MINUTE before 9/11/01)