FreeThinker
DP Veteran
- Joined
- Jan 5, 2006
- Messages
- 1,001
- Reaction score
- 34
- Gender
- Undisclosed
- Political Leaning
- Undisclosed
1. Make stuff up and don't give sources
Need data to back up what you say? No problem. Just make stuff up like this:
"2 million people in developing countries have died due to global warming."
Actually, say "Over 50 million men, women and children have succumed to the starvation
brought on by global warming cause by the United States." That is much more dramatic.
If some conservative asks for a source for the claim just say "everyone knows that".
2. Don't respond to arguments you might not win
Some darn republican make a really good post with a logical argument and cited sources?
Simple! Just don't respond!
Instead: bump threads made by your fellow liberals with smiley faces and quoting
pyramids.
That silly article on what John Kerry said will be buried in no time!
3. Make a completely new page on wikipedia.com, then make a post citing your page as
a source.
Don't worry about the wikipedia admins. Those guys are busy keeping all the other
liberals from edited historical pages. It will take them a week to see that someone
made up a page about an event that never happened, and by that time your original post
on the forums will be safely under the radar.
4. Blame Jews
Violence in the middle east? Blame the Jews.
Stock market lose points today? It was the Jew bankers.
Car break down? Those Jew mechanics must have sabotaged it.
Got fired for smoking pot? The Jews forced you to.
Tripped and fell on the sidewalk? Jewish black magic.
Disability check come a week late? It was that Jew mailman's fault.
Can't get laid? The Jews made you ugly and unpopular.
5. Quote other liberals to make arguments
Want to attack the Bush administration but can't make your own argument? No problem!
Just find something Moore wrote or an op-ed from the New York times.
This way you can spam the boards with an endless supply of ideas you didn't think of.
"New Post"
"Control-C"
"Control-V"
"Send"
6.
1. Make stuff up and don't give sources
Need data to back up what you say? No problem. Just make stuff up like this:
"2 million people in developing countries have died due to global warming."
Actually, say "Over 50 million men, women and children have succumed to the starvation brought on by global warming cause by the United States." That is much more dramatic. If some conservative asks for a source just say "everyone knows that".
2. Don't respond to arguments you might not win
Some darn republican make a really good post with a logical argument and cited sources?
Simple! Just don't respond!
Instead: bump threads made by your fellow liberals with smiley faces and quoting pyramids.
That silly article on John Kerry's latest blunder will be buried in no time!
3. Make a completely new page on wikipedia.com, then make a post citing your page as a source.
Don't worry about the wikipedia admins. Those guys are busy keeping all the other liberals from edited historical pages. It will take them a week to see that someone made up a page about an event that never happened, and by that time your original post on the forums will be safely under the radar.
4. Blame Jews
Violence in the middle east? Blame the Jews.
Stock market lose points today? It was the Jew bankers.
Car break down? Those Jew mechanics must have sabotaged it.
Got fired for smoking pot? The Jews forced you to.
Tripped and fell on the sidewalk? Jewish black magic.
Disability check come a week late? It was that Jew mailman's fault.
Can't get laid? The Jews made you ugly and unpopular.
5. Quote other liberals
Want to attack the Bush administration but can't make your own argument? No problem! Just find something Moore wrote or an op-ed from the New York times.
This way you can spam the boards with an endless supply of ideas you didn't think of.
"New Post"
"Control-C"
"Control-V"
"Send"
6. Never make a real argument
Attempting to make real arguments based on facts can lead to disaster. Conservatives might occasionally take 5 minutes to check your sources and see you made stuff up.
If you forget and attempt to honestly debate someone (and start losing), frantically start replying to other posts and other people. Make it look like you have more important things to do than prove what you said.
7. Call Bush a Nazi
Calling Bush a Nazi is a great one liner. You can put that sentence in a text file on your desktop then have it ready to copy and paste every time you open up the forums. It saves time and precious energy that would otherwise be spent on playing video games or smoking pot.
There is a slight chance someone might take the time to reference history books and dispute your claim (Nazi's apparently were evil spacemen or something from the year 1492). If this happens simply use the previously mentioned quote spamming technique.
8. Make yourself a victim
Trying to make an argument about gun control? Say a white man in a pickup truck shot off your leg.
Global warming? Your dad's farm dried up because of the increased temperatures, causing him to comit suicide.
Israel? Your mother was raped and killed by Jewish soldiers.
Abortion? Your sister was raped by satan and would have given birth to the anti-christ if it wasn't for that hero doctor with the coathanger.
People will be afraid to call you on your bull if you might actually have some emotional stake in an argument. Be careful with details though: you could get proven to be a fake. If someone asks just say "it's too painful to talk about".
************************************
Follow these rules and soon you will have a post count of over 8000 without having to actually debate anyone, making you the winner of the internet.
Need data to back up what you say? No problem. Just make stuff up like this:
"2 million people in developing countries have died due to global warming."
Actually, say "Over 50 million men, women and children have succumed to the starvation
brought on by global warming cause by the United States." That is much more dramatic.
If some conservative asks for a source for the claim just say "everyone knows that".
2. Don't respond to arguments you might not win
Some darn republican make a really good post with a logical argument and cited sources?
Simple! Just don't respond!
Instead: bump threads made by your fellow liberals with smiley faces and quoting
pyramids.
That silly article on what John Kerry said will be buried in no time!
3. Make a completely new page on wikipedia.com, then make a post citing your page as
a source.
Don't worry about the wikipedia admins. Those guys are busy keeping all the other
liberals from edited historical pages. It will take them a week to see that someone
made up a page about an event that never happened, and by that time your original post
on the forums will be safely under the radar.
4. Blame Jews
Violence in the middle east? Blame the Jews.
Stock market lose points today? It was the Jew bankers.
Car break down? Those Jew mechanics must have sabotaged it.
Got fired for smoking pot? The Jews forced you to.
Tripped and fell on the sidewalk? Jewish black magic.
Disability check come a week late? It was that Jew mailman's fault.
Can't get laid? The Jews made you ugly and unpopular.
5. Quote other liberals to make arguments
Want to attack the Bush administration but can't make your own argument? No problem!
Just find something Moore wrote or an op-ed from the New York times.
This way you can spam the boards with an endless supply of ideas you didn't think of.
"New Post"
"Control-C"
"Control-V"
"Send"
6.
1. Make stuff up and don't give sources
Need data to back up what you say? No problem. Just make stuff up like this:
"2 million people in developing countries have died due to global warming."
Actually, say "Over 50 million men, women and children have succumed to the starvation brought on by global warming cause by the United States." That is much more dramatic. If some conservative asks for a source just say "everyone knows that".
2. Don't respond to arguments you might not win
Some darn republican make a really good post with a logical argument and cited sources?
Simple! Just don't respond!
Instead: bump threads made by your fellow liberals with smiley faces and quoting pyramids.
That silly article on John Kerry's latest blunder will be buried in no time!
3. Make a completely new page on wikipedia.com, then make a post citing your page as a source.
Don't worry about the wikipedia admins. Those guys are busy keeping all the other liberals from edited historical pages. It will take them a week to see that someone made up a page about an event that never happened, and by that time your original post on the forums will be safely under the radar.
4. Blame Jews
Violence in the middle east? Blame the Jews.
Stock market lose points today? It was the Jew bankers.
Car break down? Those Jew mechanics must have sabotaged it.
Got fired for smoking pot? The Jews forced you to.
Tripped and fell on the sidewalk? Jewish black magic.
Disability check come a week late? It was that Jew mailman's fault.
Can't get laid? The Jews made you ugly and unpopular.
5. Quote other liberals
Want to attack the Bush administration but can't make your own argument? No problem! Just find something Moore wrote or an op-ed from the New York times.
This way you can spam the boards with an endless supply of ideas you didn't think of.
"New Post"
"Control-C"
"Control-V"
"Send"
6. Never make a real argument
Attempting to make real arguments based on facts can lead to disaster. Conservatives might occasionally take 5 minutes to check your sources and see you made stuff up.
If you forget and attempt to honestly debate someone (and start losing), frantically start replying to other posts and other people. Make it look like you have more important things to do than prove what you said.
7. Call Bush a Nazi
Calling Bush a Nazi is a great one liner. You can put that sentence in a text file on your desktop then have it ready to copy and paste every time you open up the forums. It saves time and precious energy that would otherwise be spent on playing video games or smoking pot.
There is a slight chance someone might take the time to reference history books and dispute your claim (Nazi's apparently were evil spacemen or something from the year 1492). If this happens simply use the previously mentioned quote spamming technique.
8. Make yourself a victim
Trying to make an argument about gun control? Say a white man in a pickup truck shot off your leg.
Global warming? Your dad's farm dried up because of the increased temperatures, causing him to comit suicide.
Israel? Your mother was raped and killed by Jewish soldiers.
Abortion? Your sister was raped by satan and would have given birth to the anti-christ if it wasn't for that hero doctor with the coathanger.
People will be afraid to call you on your bull if you might actually have some emotional stake in an argument. Be careful with details though: you could get proven to be a fake. If someone asks just say "it's too painful to talk about".
************************************
Follow these rules and soon you will have a post count of over 8000 without having to actually debate anyone, making you the winner of the internet.
