This Parrot is Dead!

tecoyah · 05-14-08, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Howard Dean: "Look, woman, I know a dead candidacy when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now."
Hillary: "No, no it’s not dead, I’m –I’m resting! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian blue, isn't it, aye? Beautiful plumage!"

Clinton has crossed the Blue Ridge and is over the green hills of West Virginia, home of what she calls the "hardworking Americans, white Americans." This is Clinton Country.

Howard Dean: "That campaign is definitely deceased, and when it started not half a year ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it being tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk."
Hillary: "Well, it's, it's, ah, probably pining for the fiords."

2:57 p.m., Yeager Airport, Charleston, W.Va.: A steep descent brings Clinton's plane to Charleston's hilltop airport. After an appropriate wait, she steps from the plane and pretends to wave to a crowd of supporters; in fact, she is waving to 10 photographers underneath the airplane's wing. She pretends to spot an old friend in the crowd, points and gives another wave; in fact, she is waving at an aide she had been talking with on the plane minutes earlier.

Howard Dean: (Takes paperwork from a briefcase, bangs it on counter, lets it drop to floor.) "Now, that's what I call a dead campaign."
Hillary: "No, it's stunned! . . . You stunned it, just as it was wakin' up! Norwegian blues stun easily, Major."

7:30 p.m., South Hall, Charleston Convention Center: The moment the polls close, the networks declare Clinton the winner of the primary. This is no surprise: Exit polls show a 2 to 1 margin for Clinton.
There is no television playing on the red-carpeted floor of the convention center, where all of 89 Clinton supporters have arrived so far. After a 12-minute delay, somebody thinks to turn on the TV in the hall, and the small group breaks into a chant: "It's not over."

Howard Dean: "It's not pining! it's passed on! This campaign is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet his maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! . . . It’s metabolic processes are now history! It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket, It's shuffled off his mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleeding choir invisible! This is an ex-Campaign!"

9:06 p.m., still in the South Hall: The announcer has just introduced "the next president of the United States." And with the TV now turned off, it almost seems possible. The confetti guns are loaded and ready. The streamers hang from the ceiling. And the crowd -- now up to 500, all but about 10 of them white -- is rapturous as Clinton rebukes the "pundits and the naysayers."

"There are some who wanted to cut this race short!" Clinton says from the faux-wood lectern. They boo.
"I am more determined than ever to carry on this campaign," she says. They cheer.
"There are many who wanted to declare a nominee before the ballots were counted or even cast," she says. They boo.
"This race isn't over yet," she says. They cheer.
The sound system emits a loud screech of feedback. The confetti cannons fire.
See? She wasn't dead; she was just pining for the fiords.

-edited from a Dana Millbank article…but I thought it quite funny.

washingtonpost.com - nation, world, technology and Washington area news and headlines

Hymns · 05-14-08, 09:08 PM

Monty Python references FTW! Isn't it awesome how well it fits? (Up until the part where she wins)