The mindless, meaningless, not insulting but really stupid thread response.

[P_T]

A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2022 EV Turbo Beep-Beep.
It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $2,500,000.
He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light.
An old man on a moped, both looking about 90 years old, pulls up next to him.
The old man looks over the sleek, shiny surface of the car and asks "What kind of car ya got there, sonny?".
The dude replies "A 2022 Turbo EV Beep-Beep. They cost $2,500,000."
"That's a lotta money!" says the old man, shocked. "Why does it cost so much?"
"Cause this car can do up to 320 miles an hour!" states the cool dude proudly.
The old man asks "Can I take a look inside?"
"Sure" replies the owner.
So the old man pokes his head in the window and looks around.
Leaning back on his moped, the old man says "That's a pretty nice car, alright!"
Just then the light changes, so the guy decides to show the old man what his car can do.
He floors it, and within 30 seconds the speedometer reads 320.
Suddenly, the guy notices a dot in his rear view mirror. It seems to be getting closer!
Whhhoooooooooossssshhhhhh! Something whips by him! Going maybe three times as fast!
The guy wonders "what on earth could be going faster than my 2022 Turbo EV Beep-BeeP?"
Then, ahead of him, he sees a dot coming toward him.
Whooooooooooosh! Goes by again! And, it almost looked like the old man on the moped!
Couldn't be thinks the guy. How could a moped outrun a 2022 Turbo EV Beep-Beep? Again, he sees a dot in his rearview mirror!
oooshhhhhhhhKa-BbbbblaMMMMM! It plows into the back of his car, demolishing the rear end.
The guy jumps out and discovers it is the old man!
Of course, the moped and the old man are hurting for certain.
The guy runs over to the old man and asks " are You hurting bad ? Is there anything I can do for you?"
The old man replies "No, Unhook my suspenders from the side-view mirror on your car!"

 

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A Young Lil Johnny is about to marry and asks his grandfather Elder Lil Johnny how often a married
couple should make love. Elder Lil Johnny tell Lil Johnny, "When you first get married, you want it all
the time, maybe several times a day; later on, maybe once a week. As you get older, you male love
maybe once a month. When you get really old, you are lucky to have it once a year, maybe on your
anniversary." Young Lil Johnny asks, "Well; How about you and Grandma?" Elder Lil Johnny replies,
"Oh"


She goes into her bedroom, I go into mine.
__________________________________________________ ___________

She yells, **** you and I yells back **** you too.

 

[P_T]

John is shocked by the doctor's suggestion, but he decides to give it a go.
Sure enough, he starts feeling loads better after a couple of weeks and
realizes that he'll never eat peas again.

Anyway, one night,he's sitting in a bar
having a conversation with friends.
One of them says, "I'd love a cigarette,
because I haven't had a smoke in four years.
My wife persuaded me to give them up."

Another guy says, "I haven't played a game of golf in three years,
because it cost me my first marriage. So I gave it up."

Then John says, "I haven't had a pea in six years!"
When she hears this, the Pretty lil bartender yells,
"Okay, everyone who can't swim, grab a table!"
_______________________________________
ARE YOU AWARE OF;
The pretty - hottie barmaids are the social leaders in all communities.

 

[P_T]

A guy comes into a bar one day and says to the
Bartender, "Give me six double vodkas."
The bartender says, "Wow! You must have had
one hell of a day Sweetie! " "Yes, I've just found
out my older brother is gay."

The next day the same guy comes into the bar and
asks for the same drinks.
Bartender asks, " What's the problem today Honey " &
the answer came back,
"I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!"

On the third day the guy comes into the bar and
orders another six double vodkas.
The Bartender says, "Geez Sweetie! Doesn't
anybody in your family like women?".


"Yeah, my wife..."
________________________
That can die at the door streps, down to the street in Boston.

 

[P_T]

Once upon a time there was a non-conforming sparrow.
However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly decided to fly south.

In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and
he fell to Earth in a barnyard, nearly frozen solid.
A cow passed by where he had fallen and crapped on the little sparrow.
The sparrow thought it was the end, but the manure warmed him and
defrosted his wings!

Warm and happy, able to breath, he started to sing.
Just then a large cat came by, and hearing the chirping he investigated the sounds.
The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.

Alas in the Lil Birds final moments of life he thought,
Everyone who craps on you is not necessarily your enemy &
Everyone who gets you out of crap is not necessarily your friend.
__________________________________________________ ____
if you're warm and happy in YOUR PILE OF CRAP,
you might just want to keep THOSE thoughts to yourselves.

__________________________________________________ ___
LIFE CAN BE AN UNCOMFERTABLE FIT OF CIRCUMSTANCES COULD IT, BE?

__________________
MOST LIKELY THE SAND HAS RUN DOWN !

 

[P_T]

I'm sort of tired now, but its Friday TGIF. So a nap and up late I will Become!

 

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You know many deep thinks after 4 or so Hit Me Major mans or Mams.

 

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On the Day his birth he is gifted much more than others.
He had the ability to talk and focus his eyes.

The first thing he says is, "Are you, my mommy?"
"Why, yes!" his mother says. "I am!"

He thinks a bit and says, "I want to thank you for
taking such good care of me before I was born."

Then he looks around the room and says, "Are you, my doctor?"
"Yes, I am!" says the doctor. "Well, I just want to thank you sir."
"You took good care of me and my mommy during My delivery."

"You're very welcome," says the doctor.
The Baby then sees someone else and says, "Are you, my father?"
Overcome with pride, his dad says, "Yes, I am!"

"Come here for a minute. I want to show you something," Lil Baby says.
"Bend down." His father complies and a tiny baby starts
poking him in His eyes and nose. Baby then asks,
"How does that feel?! Hurts, doesn't it?"

The insurance was invalid for the Daddy.
But after a number of injections his double vision
and the nose bleeds subsided.
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Some sad tails need to be shared even when no one cares.

 

[P_T]

A 54-year-old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near-death experience.
Seeing God she asked, “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live.”

Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants, and a tummy tuck.
She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live,
she figured she might as well make the most of it.

After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was hit & killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 43 years? Why didn’t you pull me out of the path of the ambulance?”

............ ..................... .................... ........................ ............................... , “Sorry! I didn’t recognize you.”
______________________________________________________________
Even a God can see a truth in all that ! After all she took what he had offered her into her own hands.

 

[P_T]

Karma and true feelings, it is a good day .. ... !

 

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So if I set the timer, it will all be, OK?

 

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#1. Your on Vacation every night of the Month.

 

[P_T]

 

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I just had an Epiphany!

 

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One day, a blonde's neighbor goes over to her house, sees the blonde crying, and asks her what happened. The blonde said that her mother had passed away.
The neighbor made her some coffee and calmed her down a little and then left. The next day the neighbor went back over to the house and found the blonde crying again.
She asked her why she was crying this time. The blonde said, "I just got off of the phone with my sister. Her mother died too!"
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[P_T]

Pierre and Boudreaux wanted to go hunting but didn't have a place to hunt. Pierre said, "The old farmer down the road is a friend of mine. He's so old, that he can't even get out into his fields anymore. I'll bet he would let us hunt there."
When they got there, Pierre told Boudreaux that he would go into the house and ask for permission to hunt on the farmer's land. Pierre went into the house, and his friend, the old farmer said, "That's all right with me, but could I get you to do me a small favor in return?"

The farmer said, "Mud Bug, my old hunting dog is so old, he is in constant agony. I need to put him out if his misery, but I just don't have the heart. Before you take to my fields, could you please use your gun and do it for me? He's in the front yard, he's in so much pain, he can't even make it into the house anymore." Pierre said that he would help the old farmer, and went out into the yard, to tell Boudreaux that they could hunt there. As he was walking down the front steps, he got an idea for a joke that would scare Boudreaux. When Boudreaux said, "Did he tell us we could hunt on his land?", Pierre, for a joke, said, "No, that's the meanest old farmer I've EVER met -- I'll show HIM!!" Then he shot the old dog, and said, "That'll show him."

Boudreaux ran to the farmer's barn, and Pierre fell on the ground, laughing, because he scared Boudreaux enough to run away and hide. Suddenly, Pierre heard, "BLAM......BLAM." Then Boudreaux ran out of the barn, and shouted to Pierre, "O.K., I got the horse and cow... Now, let's get out of here."
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[P_T]

I didn't think SNL all that funny last Saturday night 4/20/2024

 

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Maybe SNL has run its course and is Political in its format! Even the Desk Guy was frowning at the Host at the closing credits.

 

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Have you spent a lifetime worrying about how you're gonna get Cremated !

 

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Phil gets his mother-in-law a cemetery plot for Christmas. It comes with a coffin, tomb stone, the works.
Next year Christmas comes, Phil, gets her nothing. The mother-in-law asks, "Why didn't you get me a gift?"
Phil says, "You haven't used the one I got you last year!" .... LOL ...
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The Pain, ..... The Pain .....