Quote:
Originally Posted by herenow1  When a spouse/SO lies to you, does it matter that the lie was little, or is it about the principle? |
Lately, my spouse f
ucking lies to me constantly.
I've told him it makes me love him less every time he does it, but he won't stop.
Mostly, he funnels money and household items to his roughly 100,000 poverty-stricken relatives, and that's what he lies about.
Why does he lie?
Because, he claims, I wouldn't have let him do it if he'd told me the truth.
Well, maybe yes, maybe no.
I've been more than generous with certain of my in-laws in the past.
But I'd at least like the opportunity to
know about it beforehand, you know.
Yes, I probably would make it a little more
difficult for him, but is avoiding conflict worth giving up every shred of credibility you might have ever had, until every time you open your mouth it's anybody's guess whether or not the truth is going to come out of it?
No, these lies are "good" lies, I guess; he's more generous and altruistic than me. He'd give away everything he had, if I wasn't there to stop him. He just wants to help people in need. Even when these people screw him over a thousand times, he still wants to help them.
Then again, he doesn't have kids to support. I do.
The thing is, I know his nature. He behaves in a way that is consistent with his nature. He almost can't be
expected to do any differently.
So these lies... in a deeper way, they're truths.
He is true to his nature. When I refuse to accept it, he feels forced to lie.
But he usually tells me the truth as soon as possible (like, as soon as whatever he's given away this time is irretrievable, and nothing I do or say will bring it back).
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