americanwoman

I like asking my husband's opinion of woman because it's interesting how different we see beauty. He'll see a girl and be like she's really pretty and I'll be like what's wrong with you, she is butt ugly. We mostly have the same opinion but there's times when we will look at each other and say "um what exactly do you find attractive about that?" I like to say though I have better taste

rivrrat

Perhaps you should tell HER that more often.

Too many women focus on looks. While they don't want to be desired soley for their looks, and I'm sure they feel that their partners are with them for more than looks, they still seem to think that looks alone would tear their partner away from them AND they unnecessarily harp on their own looks. It's just this weird vicious, hypocritical cycle.

Try this... next time she catches you admiring a nice "rack", mention something about the women with said rack being unable to comprehend basic literature or something. Or, being unable to have an intelligent conversation. Let her know that while you are able to recognize physical beauty in others (and there's nothing wrong with that) that you require more to stimulate you. See how she reacts then.

Something like... "I bet all of brains are in bra." Or, "Her bra size is probably higher than her IQ." "Somehow I'm doubting I could have a 5 minute convo with her that didn't include discussion of hair styles".

Eh... I dunno. I just think maybe if you downplay the woman's looks and highlight the fact that it takes much more to make you happy, it'll help.

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rivrrat

LOL same here. My BF and I agree frequently but occasionally we disagree. And he surprises me at times by claiming, "She's okay, but she's too skinny" with some women. Some I completely agree with him on regarding the skinniness factor, but others he kind of surprises me.

WI Crippler

Next time I ogle an attractive female I'll just say something like "I bet she has crabs" and that should do the trick.

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"What Jesus fails to appreciate is that it's the meek who are the problem."- Reg

aps

For some reason, I love the surprise factor--good and bad about the other woman.

talloulou

The thing that drives me nuts is that we are our own worst enemy. We tear each up all over men for no apparent reason. If you work in an environment with men and women many of the women will just not get along and it's all because they tear into each other over men. Put women together, in the absence of men, and they get along just fine. Put women and men together and the claws come out and it's frankly disturbing. When a woman is successful and powerful it is other women who will attempt to find fault with her and rip her to shreds, not men. If a woman is well liked by men other women will go nuts and hate on her without good reason. It just doesn't make sense because men are sooooo easy. I mean men just love women, all types, all varieties. If women would just stop turning on each other we'd be a force to be reckoned with because in general I find us to be far more complex then men.

1069

Well, since we're all in agreement as to what the problem is (although most of us did not even care to venture a guess as to why the problem is), does anyone have any theories about how to solve it?
And please don't say, "They can quit being stupid, insecure, jealous arseholes and get some self-confidence, for cripe sake"; obviously, if they could, they would. I'm sure nobody wants to go through life that way. Damaged that way.

What would improve matters for all these jealous, insecure women?
What would make them feel safe?
Does aging improve things for them, do you think, or does it make things worse?

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Lightdemon: "Is 10 going to outer space or something?"
Jerry: "...yes, 10 is going to outerspace."

Bodhisattva

Why can't they stop being insecure and get some self-confidence again 1069?
It seems that this is Precisely the answer.

There needs to be more of the, "The only person that can heal you is you" kinda philosophy...and most importantly, it needs to be BELIEVED.

Saying women can't stop being jealous and competition with each other over men is like saying men can't stop being violent. Of course both can be whatever they would like to be. It takes time and focus...lots of inner work and such.

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1069

Well, I've already expounded at length about my theory, in the first post after the OP.
I think it's because their daddies abandoned them, either emotionally or in actual fact. And they didn't know why at the time, so they imagined the worst. And it has impaired their ability to forge or maintain a reasonable, viable relationship with any man in their adult life.
For the record, I also think boys who are abandoned by their Mommies (either emotionally or in actual fact) are similarly- almost identically- screwed up in adulthood. Insecure, self-defeating.
It's just that there are so few of those, while there are so many deadbeat male parents.

Bodhisattva

so the reason that women have these issues is the fault of men?
What about personal responsibility?