americanwoman

Domestic violence is a tough topic and may be effecting someone you know who is hiding their perpurtrator. I know how it is. I was a victim of domestic violence. I have been beaten, broken, and verbally abused by a partner. I didn't tell no one due to fear. I now like to speak out to anyone who may be going through this or may know someone who is. It will only get worse and it never gets better.

To tell my story I met a guy when I was quite young and he seemed like the perfect guy. Charming, smart, handsome and completely evil. To the world he is every girl's dream and could probably get lots of girls to date him and to this dayI wonder why he picked me out. We started dating and of course we fell in love quickly and I moved in with him. Nothing for awhile,simple fighting and maybe some minor insults, but I always fought back. One day he slapped me and I failed to understand what was happening. How could someone I loved do this to me? I started to leave and he pulled me down and cried how he didn't mean it and it would never happen again. How stupid I was to believe but all I can say is I was young and stupid. Over the next couple years it got worse and worse and the threats I got whenever I wanted to leave got worse and worse, so I stopped thinking I could leave. Once when I did something "wrong" and he hit me I told him I was leaving so he held me down and put a gun to my head and said if I left he would leave the second after I did and race over to my grandparents house and kill both of them and their blood would be on my hands. Other times he would threaten to kill me if I left or something to my family. I didn't confide any of this to anyone and I felt quite alone, confused, and hateful. Suicide became an obsession to me. I hated my life and it seemed to be my only way out. Depressed I finally confessed everything to a coworker one morning after a particularly crazy morning. I knew if I went home I would be dead or worse because I finally was ready to leave. I was able to get out of this horrible relationship but many are not as fortunate. I am a survivor now and as they say what doesn't kill you will just make you stronger.

Please, if you know anyone who needs help, help them out or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) before it's too late.


American Institute on Domestic Violence-Domestic Violence Statistics
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233 or 1-800-787-3224 (TTY) - Break the silence, make the call.

cherokee

You are a brave, strong woman.

There is no excuse for what that man did to you.
Personally I’d like to rip his head off because you have to be one of the nicest people I’ve met online.

americanwoman

Thanks Cherokee. I can only hope he is getting what he gets but most likely in reality he is on to his next victim.

jfuh

Too many people I know have so similar an instance as you have had. Actually just about every other girl I know of has had a nearly identical instance. My niece was stabbed multiple times on her back with a pair of scissors after she wanted to leave the guy because he cheated on her. They dated for 8 years.

In every single one of these instances all started with a seemingly harmless guy; but they just snapped one day and became aggressive. To me the problem was obvious, the guys believed that the the ladies belonged to them, that somehow they owned their partner as opposed to being equals. The men were always control freaks who completely lacked self confidence and no wonder, they were all highly irresponsible - it was always someone else's fault never their own.

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Iriemon

It is a terrible thing, and usually there is a story of escalation over time that becomes psychologically hard to break.

I tell my girls if a guy uses force on you, look them in the eye and tell them if that ever do that again, you are leaving, and if he does it again, leave.

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Matthew 5:9

jfuh

Brave, were they my girls I'd tell them to leave immediately. Why? where do you draw the line? You have emotions all mixed in there. From what I've seen better sooner than later.

CaptainCourtesy

An amazing and courageous story, americanwoman. I am happy to hear you were able to escape. In my travels, I have assisted several women to escape abusive situations, 2 fairly identical to yours. I always tell my female clients...once a hitter, always a hitter. Leave the first time.

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"Never fear. Him is here" - Captain Chaos (Dom DeLuise), Cannonball Run

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mikhail

They should shame these men publicly all the stories ive heard seem to suggest they know what they are doing is wrong. I dont think its possible to meet some and think yea he's a woman beater alot of the "tough guy" types i know are soft as anything when it comes to women.

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cherokee

Well hopefully it’s my ex-wife. A life-sucking bitch from which there is almost no escape.

I’ve never understood wife beaters but I guess it’s how I was raised.
How can you beat on someone you supposedly love?
As much as I wanted to knock the dog**** out of my ex wife I found it was always easier to walk away from her when she started her bs…We had the Love/Hate thing going.
One day she loved me, the next she hated me, then she loved me again.

new coup for you

I'm not advocating heterosexual domestic violence, because I understand the inherent physical disparity, but i've had bfs that i routinely got in fights with. giving each other black eyes was much more cathartic then shouting, and usually brought us to compromise much quicker.

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And why does your tone suggest that you do not care about children?

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike.