mikhail

due to recent events ive come to realise lasting love exists in only one way.

One person really deeply loves someone and the other one may not love them as much but goes along with it.

There has to be one that loves the other more than they love them back and thats just how it is.

So the question is are you the lover or the one that is loved?

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The third-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the majority. The second-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking with the minority. The first-rate mind is only happy when it is thinking.

1069

That's true. That's true in every relationship.
I wouldn't put it exactly that way, but there is always a dominant partner- one who holds more power in the relationship. And one who has to give more, because of it.
If one is lucky, one can find balance- not that the two parties will ever love each other equally, or hold equal power over one another, but that each party has something unique and necessary they bring to the relationship.
Even these relationships society likes to sneer at- rich old men marrying beautiful young gold-diggers.
Each party in that relationship has self-derived power, each has attributes the other needs or wants.
Maybe these folks aren't as deluded and off-base as we all like to think.

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Lightdemon: "Is 10 going to outer space or something?"
Jerry: "...yes, 10 is going to outerspace."

new coup for you

write some emo songs

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And why does your tone suggest that you do not care about children?

I want to ride my bicycle, I want to ride my bike.

rivrrat

Hmm... I disagree. I don't think that one partner has to give more, or love "more". Besides, define "love more". How is that determined, anyway?

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mikhail

Well your asking me to determine what love is but i wanna be cynical id say maybe one person has a stronger chemical reaction in the brain than the other person.

1069

I'd say it's mixed up with dependency, independence, helplessness.
Before I learned to drive (which was only a couple of years ago; I just somehow never got around to it before that) I was never entirely sure how much of my love for my husband was mixed in with my dependence on him to take me wherever I needed to go.
It was good to learn to drive, so we no longer had that hovering over us, clouding my feelings for him.
Then there's money issues; if one is unable to be entirely self-supporting and relies- at least in part- upon the second income a partner provides, then I think sometimes it's difficult to ascertain how much you love your partner, and how much you just love having a roof over your head.
When kids are involved, it gets even more convoluted. You love your kids; you can't afford to keep a roof over their heads without the second income provided by your partner.
How much do you love him because of a "chemical reaction in the brain", and how much do you love him for making it possible for you to raise and protect your children?
These are just typical, run-of-the-mill situations that almost any couple might encounter. Then you have your "special" situations where one partner is physically or mentally handicapped, or psychologically ill, and really depends upon their partner for constant help with their basic needs, for day-to-day survival.
All of this factors in to "who loves who more".

If you split up, which one of you could go on living the same basic lifestyle, sans partner? And which one's lifestyle would be drastically reduced, altered, or modified?
This sort of consideration gives one partner power over the other; it creates a power imbalance. When they fight, the partner who can't afford a break-up is at a disadvantage.