Cheating - Page 8

mikhail · 08-23-07, 08:19 PM

Whatever ladies

1069 · 08-23-07, 08:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikhail

Whatever ladies

Well, for cripe sakes, mikhail.
Do you think the vast majority of us wind up married to these mild-mannered, innocuous middle-management types by default, because we couldn't find brutal, menacing convicted felons to marry us, or what?

Stace · 08-23-07, 09:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1069

Well, for cripe sakes, mikhail.
Do you think the vast majority of us wind up married to these mild-mannered, innocuous middle-management types by default, because we couldn't find brutal, menacing convicted felons to marry us, or what?

If it counts for anything, my husband locks up those brutal, menacing felons.

mikhail · 08-23-07, 09:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by 1069

Well, for cripe sakes, mikhail.
Do you think the vast majority of us wind up married to these mild-mannered, innocuous middle-management types by default, because we couldn't find brutal, menacing convicted felons to marry us, or what?

Nah its just there is only so much mik to go around

rivrrat · 08-23-07, 10:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stace

My take on it? Teenage girls, or even women that haven't actually matured yet, like the "bad boys" because they're rebelling - against their parents, their friends, whoever. Hell, my first serious boyfriend? Not a bad boy in any sense, really quite a responsible young man for the most part, but my parents didn't like him. I certainly liked the element of defying them, though they eventually came to accept our relationship.

Women, or at least those that have matured in their mentality, grow out of it as they become ready to settle down because they want a provider type, someone stable, and the "bad boys" rarely fit that description.

Just my perspective on that bit.

Can't say I disagree with that. I'm quite certain that's the motivation for some, surely. I "fell for" a couple "bad boys" in high school too, and to this day cannot explain why the hell I did. I look back and just shake my head and thank my lucky stars that things didn't go further than they did. I just think to myself, "WTF did I EVER see in that guy?!" I have no answer, and I don't feel as though I was rebelling. If I was, it wasn't an intentional motivation on my part. But I definitely know many teens do just that, it's part of growing up.

Still yet, those guys didn't "treat me ****ty". They were just the 'bad boys' who always got into trouble... and caused trouble. Nowadays, that's the last damn thing I want to be involved with.

Stace · 08-24-07, 12:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rivrrat

Can't say I disagree with that. I'm quite certain that's the motivation for some, surely. I "fell for" a couple "bad boys" in high school too, and to this day cannot explain why the hell I did. I look back and just shake my head and thank my lucky stars that things didn't go further than they did. I just think to myself, "WTF did I EVER see in that guy?!" I have no answer, and I don't feel as though I was rebelling. If I was, it wasn't an intentional motivation on my part. But I definitely know many teens do just that, it's part of growing up.

I certainly didn't set out to intentionally rebel against my parents. I was always the good kid, ya know? And they didn't mind my boyfriend too much at first, aside from the fact that they hadn't wanted me dating until I was 16 (I was 7 months shy of that when we started dating).

Quote:

Still yet, those guys didn't "treat me ****ty". They were just the 'bad boys' who always got into trouble... and caused trouble. Nowadays, that's the last damn thing I want to be involved with.

That boyfriend above? Did end up treating me ****ty. Knocked me across the room once and had every other guy we worked with AND lived with (we all moved in together...yeah, that one didn't work out so well....never live with more than one person that you also work with!) threaten to kick the everloving **** out of him.

Every other guy? Eh, they acted like they were all macho and stuff, but they were all pretty steady and solid, not troublemakers at all....at least, nothing beyond the typical high school/college boy sort of thing. The bad boy thing, in any manner, has never really appealed to me. *shrug*

Dynamic · 11-30-08, 10:05 PM

I am way too loyal to the point that I don't even bother looking at the opposite sex.(This is probably extremely unhealthy.) So I have never cheated and I highly doubt I ever will. And that's before any of my morals would kick in.

To me, cheating can be done visually, emotionally, and physically.
Looking at porn that you know your spouse is opposed to, falling in love with another woman or man, and obviously, physically sleeping with another person other than your significant other are all types of cheating in my opinion..

I have not been physically cheated on. I do not know if I have ever been emotionally cheated on. But I have been visually cheated on.

How did I handle it? I yelled a lot. I fought with my significant other a lot and still do because I haven't completely healed. Who knows if I will.
Have I learned anything from it? Yeah.
People are human--they have flaws and so do I. One of my flaws is that I am seriously protective of myself and perhaps that is because no one else was.

But what you can do to a person by choosing to cheat instead of breaking up with a person can be horrendous. The trust issues they will have, the confusion, the self blaming...the pain...

Would I stay? I have. But if it were physical? After seeing how I have become from visual I don't think it would be a healthy choice for me to stay in a realtionship if I were physically cheated on. I don't think I would be able to forgive.

mikhail · 11-30-08, 10:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dynamic

I am way too loyal to the point that I don't even bother looking at the opposite sex.(This is probably extremely unhealthy.) So I have never cheated and I highly doubt I ever will. And that's before any of my morals would kick in.

To me, cheating can be done visually, emotionally, and physically.
Looking at porn that you know your spouse is opposed to, falling in love with another woman or man, and obviously, physically sleeping with another person other than your significant other are all types of cheating in my opinion..

I have not been physically cheated on. I do not know if I have ever been emotionally cheated on. But I have been visually cheated on.

How did I handle it? I yelled a lot. I fought with my significant other a lot and still do because I haven't completely healed. Who knows if I will.
Have I learned anything from it? Yeah.
People are human--they have flaws and so do I. One of my flaws is that I am seriously protective of myself and perhaps that is because no one else was.

But what you can do to a person by choosing to cheat instead of breaking up with a person can be horrendous. The trust issues they will have, the confusion, the self blaming...the pain...

Would I stay? I have. But if it were physical? After seeing how I have become from visual I don't think it would be a healthy choice for me to stay in a realtionship if I were physically cheated on. I don't think I would be able to forgive.

Im not quite sure what you mean by visually cheating but i would never be angry at someone i was with for being attracted to another person because they just will be.

Dynamic · 11-30-08, 10:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mikhail

Im not quite sure what you mean by visually cheating but i would never be angry at someone i was with for being attracted to another person because they just will be.

Some people see it that way and some people do not.
It comes down to respect I think. You know, not doing that kind of thing behind your partner's back. I don't have a problem with all porn just certain kinds of porn. And I am aware that not all people are like this. I have actually tried to change the way I view it and I have yet to be successful.

1069 · 11-30-08, 10:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dynamic

Some people see it that way and some people do not.
It comes down to respect I think. You know, not doing that kind of thing behind your partner's back. I don't have a problem with all porn just certain kinds of porn. And I am aware that not all people are like this. I have actually tried to change the way I view it and I have yet to be successful.

This is interesting.
Will you elaborate on it?