Originally Posted by mikhail

i dunno what does emotionally ready mean i wanted to have sex when i was like 14 with someone who wanted to and BAM 2yrs later there was.

But to be honest im sure one day i will feel ive met the love of my life and obvously it would be nice if i could have lost my virginity to her but then i would have wondered about other girls.

Everyone makes mistakes they learn from in many aspects of their life but nobody really has that much control over their children and if they do there is something quite disturbing about that.

Originally Posted by mikhail

Isnt it a bit silly to say someone is so mature they know their not ready for sex because they are not mature enough?

Originally Posted by star2589

another side to this, is that some people wont learn how powerful those consequences are until they mess up with someone, no matter how old they are. I think that if someone is mature enough to be responsible, and mature enough that messing up wouldnt be a tramatic experience, its better to let them learn from their own mistakes.

Originally Posted by star2589

I think teens listen more than parents give them credit for, and more than they realize themselves. My parents telling me not to have premarital sex didnt stop me from eventually doing so, but it did stop me from doing so when I would have been too young to handle it.

of course, in highschool I didnt think I was listening to my parents advise at all, because they didnt even want me kissing unless it was nothing more than a peck.

Originally Posted by Korimyr the Rat

"Maturity" is nothing more than the accumulated weight of your scars-- you make a mistake and get burned, and then you generally avoid making that same mistake again.

Originally Posted by ngdawg

It shouldn't be a matter of 'control' if one brings their kids up decent enough. Even a two year old learns choice/consequence to some extent and it's up to the parents to instill that as their kids grow.
Kids CAN be smart enough to know they're not mature enough for sex-that's the point. Too often it's the not so smart ones that start earlier and regret it more later.

Originally Posted by mixedmedia

Well, I tend to think most people at whatever age tend to engage in selective listening. Some listen more than others.

But the flood of emotion and desire that comes along with love can drown out the words of advice directed towards even many adults, let alone teens. I remember my teen years well. I see my own teen daughters and recognize that same emotional naivete. Nothing wrong with it, it is completely natural. But fact is, with maturity comes a grounding and wisdom that MOST teens don't possess.

Originally Posted by star2589

I agree. I just wouldnt discredit the effect parents words have on their kids entirely.

Originally Posted by mixedmedia

I don't mean, to, but looking back at my post I do see how you got that impression. I was being pretty cynical....in a tongue-in-cheek way.

I am a parent, I certainly don't want to discredit my own sage advice.

Originally Posted by mixedmedia

Right, it's not about control at all. You offer guidance and send them out into the world, knowing that, in the end, the choices will be theirs to make.