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Thread: How to Treat a Submissive Woman

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    Re: How to Treat a Submissive Woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Gipper View Post
    Yeah, that is very true. I dated a girl for a while that eventually told me she was a "sub" (I just thought she was indecisive for a while). I'm really not dominant as a whole, so things just kind of faded out. It wasn't anything major. Mostly things like if I was in the mood, I'd rub her shoulders or stroke her back in a suggestive manner as opposed to just grabbing her knees and saying "c'mon baby let's f*ck". If we went out to eat and she asked where, I'd just say "I don't know, what do you think?".

    I had no idea what being a dom was all about. Was it just invoking my will all the time? Was it saying endearing stuff like "lick my boots, bitch"? Was it smacking her hard on the ass when I was going balls deep? Seriously, I didn't read the manual on this. Eventually we just wanted different things and moved on.

    You have to know the culture. If not, it's confusing as hell.
    Dude, that's funny as hell...and so true. I think most of us men are taught to treat potential mates as equals and to ask them what they want, etc. But if you're talking to a sub (or closet sub) that's the worst thing you can do, that is, if you want the relationship to continue. At least, that's my early impression based on all the reading I've been doing on the world-wide-perv.

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    Re: How to Treat a Submissive Woman

    Quote Originally Posted by OrlandoGringo View Post
    Dude, that's funny as hell...and so true. I think most of us men are taught to treat potential mates as equals and to ask them what they want, etc. But if you're talking to a sub (or closet sub) that's the worst thing you can do, that is, if you want the relationship to continue. At least, that's my early impression based on all the reading I've been doing on the world-wide-perv.
    That's not neccessarily true. It's important to understand what they want at least initially. it's not all about controlling them, it's about them letting you control them.
    The Makeout Hobo is real, and does indeed travel around the country in his van and make out with ladies... If you meet the Makeout Hobo, it is customary to greet him with a shot of whiskey and a high five (if you are a dude) or passionate makeouts (if you are a lady).

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    Re: How to Treat a Submissive Woman

    it's not all about controlling them, it's about them letting you control them.
    Hence the "confusing as hell" thing.

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    Re: How to Treat a Submissive Woman

    Quote Originally Posted by Gipper View Post
    Hence the "confusing as hell" thing.
    A good Dom knows, understands,and accepts that the ultimate power lies with the submissive. They are *granted* their 'power' by the will of the submissive and it can be revoked at any moment.

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    Re: How to Treat a Submissive Woman

    Quote Originally Posted by OrlandoGringo View Post
    I recently met, online, a really hip woman who loves football and seems really down to earth. In our subsequent email exchanges she revealed to me that she has always wanted a man to dominate her and that her greatest desire is to please. We've had some pretty steamy exchanges. However, I'm a newbie to this Dominant/Submissive stuff and so I know she wants me to "dominate" her, but I'm not used to it. I could be, I guess. The sex sure sounds awesome and, like I said, she seems pretty hip outside the bedroom too. So, I think we might click. I'd like to give her what she wants, but I'm not sure how. If we go out to eat do I tell her what she's eating? I know that sounds, well, terrible, but I suspect she would be turned on by it and wants me to do exactly that, but I'm not sure.

    Any advice or links would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
    Introduce her to Jerry.
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    Re: How to Treat a Submissive Woman

    Quote Originally Posted by rivrrat View Post
    A good Dom knows, understands,and accepts that the ultimate power lies with the submissive. They are *granted* their 'power' by the will of the submissive and it can be revoked at any moment.
    So would you agree with what I said, that it's all about the sub in the end?
    The Makeout Hobo is real, and does indeed travel around the country in his van and make out with ladies... If you meet the Makeout Hobo, it is customary to greet him with a shot of whiskey and a high five (if you are a dude) or passionate makeouts (if you are a lady).

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    Re: How to Treat a Submissive Woman

    Quote Originally Posted by the makeout hobo View Post
    So would you agree with what I said, that it's all about the sub in the end?
    I dunno about that exactly. I think it is, or should be, a relationship that both get something out of. Otherwise, what's the point?

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    Re: How to Treat a Submissive Woman

    Quote Originally Posted by OrlandoGringo View Post
    Understood.

    I was raised in a very conservative, sheltered, Catholic home. I was an altar boy. So, in reading up on the D/s thing I couldn't help but think what all of the religous right (where I come from) would think. So, I was trying to make the analogy that it's about a woman (usually, I guess) submitting to her man (again, usually a man, I think ) and that it's not much different than a wife submitting to her husband as it instructs in the bible. Maybe it wasn't such a great analogy but now you know where I was coming from.
    Yeah, be careful there...there are quite a few D/s relationships in the same-sex world as well.
    I do see where you were coming from, and you were corrected appropriately. It is more of a "gift" than her duty. She can and will revoke that "gift" immediately if in anyway mistreated or misunderstood or feels unsafe or bored. If she has said she wants to be your "slave" well that's a bit different than just a submissive. Its more intense. Its much more than merely being submissive, it's being completely controlled. Told when to move, how to move, when to walk, sit, stand, lay down...even pee. There's a higher level of trust and control in a D/slave relationship, one I'm not even comfortable talking about because I'm way too headstrong to give away that much control over my entire being.
    I have had some experience in the submissive role, but not as a lifestyle choice.
    To me, it's fine in the bedroom once in a while...but I don't knock those who do choose to live that way. It's their choice and it's what makes them feel good about themselves. Ok, no harm, no fowl.
    "Boy, it sure would be nice if we had some grenades, don't you think?"

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    Re: How to Treat a Submissive Woman

    Thank you.

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    Re: How to Treat a Submissive Woman

    Quote Originally Posted by OrlandoGringo View Post
    I recently met, online, a really hip woman who loves football and seems really down to earth. In our subsequent email exchanges she revealed to me that she has always wanted a man to dominate her and that her greatest desire is to please. We've had some pretty steamy exchanges. However, I'm a newbie to this Dominant/Submissive stuff and so I know she wants me to "dominate" her, but I'm not used to it. I could be, I guess. The sex sure sounds awesome and, like I said, she seems pretty hip outside the bedroom too. So, I think we might click. I'd like to give her what she wants, but I'm not sure how. If we go out to eat do I tell her what she's eating? I know that sounds, well, terrible, but I suspect she would be turned on by it and wants me to do exactly that, but I'm not sure.

    Any advice or links would be greatly appreciated. Thanks in advance!
    It sounds like your not dom by nature so I don't know. Give it a shot if you think you'll both like it.

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