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Why Are Americans So Uptight About Sex

Korimyr the Rat said:
Moderation, yes. And I think people place far too little importance on propriety.

I'm much more sexual than people give me credit for, mostly because I don't discuss my sexual practices in exquisite detail with strangers or in public, and because I don't engage in blatant public displays of "affection". Nor do I avail myself of every opportunity just because I can.

It's one thing to be open and honest. It's another thing entirely to be indiscreet.
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I agree. Although propriety can be measured subjectively. I like to think of it as 'knowing your audience.' I have friends that I know I can talk about sex with very frankly and graphically because we trust each other and are on the same page with our attitudes. Then there is everyone else where candor is doled out based on instincts and observation. I've had many internet arguments with young people about the merits of what they refer to as 'honesty' (ie, saying whatever is on their mind at any time regardless of how it affects the people around them). They see it as noble and truthful. I see it as crass and lazy. But I digress, I suppose...

I guess my point is, and I'm almost sure that you would agree with me, that there is a disappointing decline in the art of conversation - maintaining dignity, measuring one's words, playing to your audience. But then, maybe it's just that I am too old to understand these damn kids these days. They drive me insane. heh.
 
tlmorg02 said:
Why is it that Europeans are so open and carefree about sex, yet in America nudity is looked at as bad on television, and there still exists the stereotyping of sexually active people as bad (whore or what have you)?
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Maybe because unrestrained casual/promiscuous sex has a measurable societal cost?

Like, teen pregnancy, other unwanted pregnancy, divorce, single-parent households, effectively unparented children, etc etc.
 
Goshin said:
Maybe because unrestrained casual/promiscuous sex has a measurable societal cost?

Like, teen pregnancy, other unwanted pregnancy, divorce, single-parent households, effectively unparented children, etc etc.
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I was with you up to the 'effectively unparented children.' I'm not sure that a promiscuous parent is necessarily a bad parent.
 
Sexual activity outside of marriage of any kind is bad for society.

Including economically.
 
mixedmedia said:
I was with you up to the 'effectively unparented children.' I'm not sure that a promiscuous parent is necessarily a bad parent.
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Necessarily, perhaps not...but in many cases it is likely to be a negative. Consider how hard it is to be a working-full-time single parent anyway (something I know first hand), then add in the kind of party-all-night and bring-home-two-strangers-a-week lifestyle that is often associated with promiscuous people, and I think there's a case to be made for it being a negative.
 
Religion! Frigging prudes that think even touching yourself is dirty!
 
Dayton3 said:
Sexual activity outside of marriage of any kind is bad for society.

Including economically.
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It is sad people still feel this way:(:confused::(
 
Goshin said:
Necessarily, perhaps not...but in many cases it is likely to be a negative. Consider how hard it is to be a working-full-time single parent anyway (something I know first hand), then add in the kind of party-all-night and bring-home-two-strangers-a-week lifestyle that is often associated with promiscuous people, and I think there's a case to be made for it being a negative.
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I see what you're saying. But granted, I think people who behave that way are usually dealing with more serious problems like alcoholism or drug abuse. I don't think it's very often the sex that drives them to behave irresponsibly.
 
Kali said:
It is sad people still feel this way:(:confused::(
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Why not. Its true.

Eliminate sex before marriage and you make it more difficult for people to break up their marriages later.

After all, if you've never had sex with someone other than your spouse you have no basis for physical comparison. And not having any kind of sexual relationship before marriage makes it more difficult for people to conceive of the possibility of having sex with someone else.

Eliminate divorces. Eliminate unwed births. Both huge causes of poverty and crime in the United States.
 
Dayton3 said:
Why not. Its true.

Eliminate sex before marriage and you make it more difficult for people to break up their marriages later.

After all, if you've never had sex with someone other than your spouse you have no basis for physical comparison. And not having any kind of sexual relationship before marriage makes it more difficult for people to conceive of the possibility of having sex with someone else.

Eliminate divorces. Eliminate unwed births. Both huge causes of poverty and crime in the United States.
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So what were the causes of poverty and crime before sex outside of marriage became routine?
 
mixedmedia said:
So what were the causes of poverty and crime before sex outside of marriage became routine?
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According to many here and in other forums, people have always had sex outside of marriage in various cultures.

And I never said that sex outside of marriage was the ONLY cause of poverty and crime.

But it is a contributor.
 
mixedmedia said:
So what were the causes of poverty and crime before sex outside of marriage became routine?
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Racism was a big one, and that's fading quickly. Blacks would be in much, much better conditions than they are in now if they didn't have 70% of births out of wedlock.
 
Dayton3 said:
Why not. Its true.

Eliminate sex before marriage and you make it more difficult for people to break up their marriages later.

After all, if you've never had sex with someone other than your spouse you have no basis for physical comparison. And not having any kind of sexual relationship before marriage makes it more difficult for people to conceive of the possibility of having sex with someone else.

Eliminate divorces. Eliminate unwed births. Both huge causes of poverty and crime in the United States.
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Eliminate sex before marriage and you have people that always wonder what it would have been like to be with ____________ <<<< Fill in blanks there..

I respect if someone wants to wait? But to act as if it is not suppose to happen before marriage is unrealistic. Humans are very sexual beings and to think that you should repress natural desires to wait for marriage is doing a disservice to the natural sexual being that you are..

I have a feeling that people who wait til marriage probably masterbate and have much more sexual fantasy than those that did not wait. ;)
 
Korimyr the Rat said:
Moderation, yes. And I think people place far too little importance on propriety.

I'm much more sexual than people give me credit for, mostly because I don't discuss my sexual practices in exquisite detail with strangers or in public, and because I don't engage in blatant public displays of "affection". Nor do I avail myself of every opportunity just because I can.

It's one thing to be open and honest. It's another thing entirely to be indiscreet.
Click to expand...

Being a gentleman first is one of the most important things a child should learn.
You have been taught well, much respect to you.

mixedmedia said:
I agree. Although propriety can be measured subjectively. I like to think of it as 'knowing your audience.' I have friends that I know I can talk about sex with very frankly and graphically because we trust each other and are on the same page with our attitudes. Then there is everyone else where candor is doled out based on instincts and observation. I've had many internet arguments with young people about the merits of what they refer to as 'honesty' (ie, saying whatever is on their mind at any time regardless of how it affects the people around them). They see it as noble and truthful. I see it as crass and lazy. But I digress, I suppose...


I guess my point is, and I'm almost sure that you would agree with me, that there is a disappointing decline in the art of conversation - maintaining dignity, measuring one's words, playing to your audience. But then, maybe it's just that I am too old to understand these damn kids these days. They drive me insane. heh.
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:applaud

This is one of the primary reasons I don't have any male friends.
Nearly all of them that I have met, almost immediately, get into the dirty details of their sexual relationships, non of which I care to know.

First impressions are ever lasting.
 
I blame Feminism. :shrug:
 
Apocalypse said:
I blame Feminism. :shrug:
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You may be trying to bait some folks, but I have often thought about how feminism (or, more accurately, how feminism was implemented) has not served women as ideally as we hoped. Haven't thought about it in a long time. It came out of a long, drawn out conversation about the implications of the phrase, 'I'd hit that,' lol.
 
mixedmedia said:
You may be trying to bait some folks, but I have often thought about how feminism (or, more accurately, how feminism was implemented) has not served women as ideally as we hoped. Haven't thought about it in a long time. It came out of a long, drawn out conversation about the implications of the phrase, 'I'd hit that,' lol.
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No, I wasn't baiting.
I was stating my honest opinion.
And I really got to wonder how could a conversation evolve from a phrase like "I'd hit that".
 
Kali said:
Humans are very sexual beings and to think that you should repress natural desires to wait for marriage is doing a disservice to the natural sexual being that you are..

QUOTE]

Repressing natural desires in favor of a greater good is what a civilization is all about.

And it can be done. I know that I'm not alone.
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Apocalypse said:
No, I wasn't baiting.
I was stating my honest opinion.
And I really got to wonder how could a conversation evolve from a phrase like "I'd hit that".
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Well, it started with the phrase and proceeded to become a conversation about how women being commonly viewed (or fantasized about openly) as sexually accessible has moved beyond wolf whistles and talk between 'the boys' to a more aggressive and overt form of sexual exploitation that is fueled by American media sources - film, televison, music, advertising, etc. - that was, when I started thinking about it, enabled in many ways by the women's movement or, more accurately, how men came to think of empowered women as 'fair game' and how women kind of, well, played along with it.

Essentially it was me trying to figure out my thoughts on the subject while a bunch of under 25 males shouted me down telling me how wrong I was, lol. Eventually I just gave up, never came to any conclusions about it. Food for future thought, I suppose. :)
 
I've pondered this question for years.

I've always wondered why it is that you can tune in and watch like 10 people get blown away and brutally murdered in cold blood on network television, but your not allowed to show a woman's nipple on tv (remember Janet Jackson?). Or why is it that a man is free to walk around exposing his nude upper torso and a women is not. Male/female nipples are not genitals, and aside from personal preference I doubt that men find womens upper toros any more attractive than they find ours. However, the female breast is considered x-rated for some reason in our culture. Isn't this kinda degrading to women? I mean, if you want to cover up that's fine, I have no problem with that. I'm a man, and not proud of my upper body so I seldom take my shirt off although I can if I want to. But for society to specifically say that woman cannot roam around with free choice to bear their upper torso but men can, just seems like an insult to them.


I guess I can't answer the question to your OP. Like I've said, I've pondered that same question for years. I've always looked at sex and the human body as one of the most beautiful things to ever exist in this evil and sad violent world. And as long as it's consensual and age appropriate in the right places and times, I don't see the harm.


Kinda funny, because the U.S. sex industry is a multi-billion dollar a year enterprise. Yet no-ones buying it, no-ones looking at it, and no-ones engaging in it. Perhaps we are not necessarily more uptight about sex, but rather the majority feel it's more enjoyable when it's considered deviant. The only reasonable conclusion I can make
 
Dayton3 said:
Kali said:
Humans are very sexual beings and to think that you should repress natural desires to wait for marriage is doing a disservice to the natural sexual being that you are..

QUOTE]

Repressing natural desires in favor of a greater good is what a civilization is all about.

And it can be done. I know that I'm not alone.
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I am just not getting the whole "saving oneself for marriage" is gonna help save the world thing..

People been having sex out of wedlock forever and they will keep doing it. No huge deal.
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Kali said:
Dayton3 said:
I am just not getting the whole "saving oneself for marriage" is gonna help save the world thing..

People been having sex out of wedlock forever and they will keep doing it. No huge deal.
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You'd have to ignore history to not realize that sex outside of wedlock used to be less common. Also, when it did happen (especially if pregnancy resulted), it was far more likely that marriage (shotgun wedding) would also follow quickly.

Part of this stemmed from the fact that there were legal consequences to what was considered irresponsible sexual liasons, and also the social stigma attached to unapproved sexual activity.

Whatever else you might say about it, teen pregnancy, single parenthood and its attendant difficulties, and divorce and its societal costs, were far less common in the US and many other cultures prior to the second half of the 20th century.

I don't think you can legitimately argue that there aren't many societal costs and negatives stemming from many aspects of "sexual liberation".
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mixedmedia said:
You may be trying to bait some folks, but I have often thought about how feminism (or, more accurately, how feminism was implemented) has not served women as ideally as we hoped. Haven't thought about it in a long time. It came out of a long, drawn out conversation about the implications of the phrase, 'I'd hit that,' lol.
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I dont know ive asked before Feminism actually means ive heard several conflicting ideas.
 
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