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maquiscat

maquiscat

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Several times in discussions on various sexualities, there are those people who say that it is the act that determines whether one is a homosexual or not. So this question is addressed to them. I honestly want to know how such people are making their classifications.


Is a person asexual while being a virgin? Does it take only one time of sex with the same gender to become homosexual for life? Or does the number of times with same gender and opposite gender weigh the results as to homosexual and heterosexual? Is there a criteria for bi sexual? If you abstain from sex for a given period of time do you become asexual again, and how long does that take?


These are just some of the possibilities that popped into my head, but I want to know what you think.
 
maquiscat said:
Several times in discussions on various sexualities, there are those people who say that it is the act that determines whether one is a homosexual or not. So this question is addressed to them. I honestly want to know how such people are making their classifications.


Is a person asexual while being a virgin? Does it take only one time of sex with the same gender to become homosexual for life? Or does the number of times with same gender and opposite gender weigh the results as to homosexual and heterosexual? Is there a criteria for bi sexual? If you abstain from sex for a given period of time do you become asexual again, and how long does that take?


These are just some of the possibilities that popped into my head, but I want to know what you think.
Click to expand...

Married dude who goes to get or give some head at the gay bar at every available opportunity...definitely not heterosexual, even if he plays one at home. So, yes, your actions matter.

Some guy (or chick) who experimented with gay sex when younger or even when older...probably not gay or bi.

Someone who has no gay sex at all, ever, but fantasizes about it often...probably gay or bi.

So, to sum it up...it's a mix.

It gets even more complicated if you take the example from that Heath Ledger movie: straight guys who had some gay sex and still have a crush on each other. Now you really hit a gray area.
 
maquiscat said:
Several times in discussions on various sexualities, there are those people who say that it is the act that determines whether one is a homosexual or not. So this question is addressed to them. I honestly want to know how such people are making their classifications.


Is a person asexual while being a virgin? Does it take only one time of sex with the same gender to become homosexual for life? Or does the number of times with same gender and opposite gender weigh the results as to homosexual and heterosexual? Is there a criteria for bi sexual? If you abstain from sex for a given period of time do you become asexual again, and how long does that take?


These are just some of the possibilities that popped into my head, but I want to know what you think.
Click to expand...

Do you not prescribe to the parable of the bridge builder?
 
Crovax said:
Do you not prescribe to the parable of the bridge builder?
Click to expand...

I know the tale, but I fail to see the connection. Care to explain?
 
The act of a dude smoking a pole doesn't make him gay....what makes him gay is that he wants to do it in the first place.



If someone offered to pay me 10,000,000$ to take it up the butt, I might just say yes. But that doesn't make me gay. I'd much rather someone give me the cash to have sex with a woman.
 
maquiscat said:
Several times in discussions on various sexualities, there are those people who say that it is the act that determines whether one is a homosexual or not. So this question is addressed to them. I honestly want to know how such people are making their classifications.
Click to expand...

Good question.

There isn't a good answer, we are a culture in transition; in unfamiliar waters. You could say we're figuring this out as we go, or if you are feeling less charitable, you could say we're making things up as we go.

We are fast approaching my personal limit, if you can't describe your sexuality in 2 words, I don't even want to know.
 
maquiscat said:
Several times in discussions on various sexualities, there are those people who say that it is the act that determines whether one is a homosexual or not. So this question is addressed to them. I honestly want to know how such people are making their classifications.


Is a person asexual while being a virgin? Does it take only one time of sex with the same gender to become homosexual for life? Or does the number of times with same gender and opposite gender weigh the results as to homosexual and heterosexual? Is there a criteria for bi sexual? If you abstain from sex for a given period of time do you become asexual again, and how long does that take?


These are just some of the possibilities that popped into my head, but I want to know what you think.
Click to expand...

Personally, I don't think it's so much the actions, it is the thought process that determines sexuality.

A person could be having sex with a member of the opposite gender, and be completely focused on a fantasy of it being some one of their same gender, and I would say they are either bi or gay.

It is the desire or attraction to a member of the same gender, beyond a passing fantasy. Many hold back on their desires and attractions, to conform to the 'hetero is normal' mentality of the masses.

Then there is 'pansexual'......
 
calamity said:
Married dude who goes to get or give some head at the gay bar at every available opportunity...definitely not heterosexual, even if he plays one at home. So, yes, your actions matter.

Some guy (or chick) who experimented with gay sex when younger or even when older...probably not gay or bi.

Someone who has no gay sex at all, ever, but fantasizes about it often...probably gay or bi.

So, to sum it up...it's a mix.

It gets even more complicated if you take the example from that Heath Ledger movie: straight guys who had some gay sex and still have a crush on each other. Now you really hit a gray area.
Click to expand...

So do you distinguish between something someone dislikes, from something one doesn't like or seek, but neither is repulsed by? I have a point but the next question depends upon your answer.
 
maquiscat said:
Several times in discussions on various sexualities, there are those people who say that it is the act that determines whether one is a homosexual or not. So this question is addressed to them. I honestly want to know how such people are making their classifications.


Is a person asexual while being a virgin? Does it take only one time of sex with the same gender to become homosexual for life? Or does the number of times with same gender and opposite gender weigh the results as to homosexual and heterosexual? Is there a criteria for bi sexual? If you abstain from sex for a given period of time do you become asexual again, and how long does that take?


These are just some of the possibilities that popped into my head, but I want to know what you think.
Click to expand...

The problem is placing people into categories.

A lady reporter covering a accident where a person was hit crossing the interstate, said, At this time, we don't know if it was a male, a female or what"

There's your sign.
 
maquiscat said:
So do you distinguish between something someone dislikes, from something one doesn't like or seek, but neither is repulsed by? I have a point but the next question depends upon your answer.
Click to expand...

I'm not sure I understand the question, but I'll answer based on what I think you are asking.

I would be more inclined to distinguish by what someone likes and seeks than what they dislike or are repulsed by. But, I guess, if someone dislikes something and is repulsed by it, say liver and onions, they certainly would not be seeking it out.
 
calamity said:
I'm not sure I understand the question, but I'll answer based on what I think you are asking.

I would be more inclined to distinguish by what someone likes and seeks than what they dislike or are repulsed by. But, I guess, if someone dislikes something and is repulsed by it, say liver and onions, they certainly would not be seeking it out.
Click to expand...

You said that actions count. Is someone attracted to their own gender gay or bi(depending on whether they are also attracted to the opposite gender) even if they never act on that attraction? Does one become gay or bi if they have same gender sex for money but have no real attraction to the same gender? Does one become gay or bi if a gun is put to their head and they are told to do so?
 
maquiscat said:
You said that actions count. Is someone attracted to their own gender gay or bi(depending on whether they are also attracted to the opposite gender) even if they never act on that attraction? Does one become gay or bi if they have same gender sex for money but have no real attraction to the same gender? Does one become gay or bi if a gun is put to their head and they are told to do so?
Click to expand...

Attracted without action--yes

Action without attraction--not likely. Prison sex, prostitution, victims of rape, etc. probably not gay.
 
maquiscat said:
Several times in discussions on various sexualities, there are those people who say that it is the act that determines whether one is a homosexual or not. So this question is addressed to them. I honestly want to know how such people are making their classifications.


Is a person asexual while being a virgin? Does it take only one time of sex with the same gender to become homosexual for life? Or does the number of times with same gender and opposite gender weigh the results as to homosexual and heterosexual? Is there a criteria for bi sexual? If you abstain from sex for a given period of time do you become asexual again, and how long does that take?


These are just some of the possibilities that popped into my head, but I want to know what you think.
Click to expand...

It's a matter of BOTH desires and actions. A virgin who wants to have sex, but has simply never had the opportunity, really can't be described as being "asexual." On the other hand, a virgin who's never had sex, and honestly has little to no desire to change that fact, could be.
 
Gathomas88 said:
It's a matter of BOTH desires and actions. A virgin who wants to have sex, but has simply never had the opportunity, really can't be described as being "asexual." On the other hand, a virgin who's never had sex, and honestly has little to no desire to change that fact, could be.
Click to expand...

What about a person who has had sex due to peer pressure, but doesn't desire it?
 
maquiscat said:
What about a person who has had sex due to peer pressure, but doesn't desire it?
Click to expand...

Would that person not eventually stop having sex...assuming the peer pressure BS fades away?
 
calamity said:
Would that person not eventually stop having sex...assuming the peer pressure BS fades away?
Click to expand...

I was trying to see if he would classify such a person as asexual.
 
maquiscat said:
I was trying to see if he would classify such a person as asexual.
Click to expand...

To follow the theme of your thread, many prostitutes are not all that much into sex itself, but they still perform sex acts for money. Most are doing it to score drugs. Drugs are their first love, not sex.

I would classify those people as asexual. Pretty much anyone not having sex for sexual reasons alone would probably qualify as asexual. Housewives who only screw their husband because they have too, for example, would qualify. Same with men who only **** their old ladies once a month or so, if even that often.

I think some people even age into it. There are physical reasons at play in those case though, of course. But, asexual they have become nonetheless.
 
Gathomas88 said:
It's a matter of BOTH desires and actions. A virgin who wants to have sex, but has simply never had the opportunity, really can't be described as being "asexual." On the other hand, a virgin who's never had sex, and honestly has little to no desire to change that fact, could be.
Click to expand...

When I was growing up, JR High era, there were guys who could not score chicks for sex. Rumors and some evidence thereof suggested that they were resorting to homosexual activities as an outlet. I doubt all of these guys were gay. They were just horny, and took advantage of any hole available--in this case, a willing gay kid.
 
calamity said:
To follow the theme of your thread, many prostitutes are not all that much into sex itself, but they still perform sex acts for money. Most are doing it to score drugs. Drugs are their first love, not sex.

I would classify those people as asexual. Pretty much anyone not having sex for sexual reasons alone would probably qualify as asexual. Housewives who only screw their husband because they have too, for example, would qualify. Same with men who only **** their old ladies once a month or so, if even that often.

I think some people even age into it. There are physical reasons at play in those case though, of course. But, asexual they have become nonetheless.
Click to expand...
I am going to have to disagree here. While the physical drive may deteriorate over the years or due to other reasons, if the attraction is still there I would say they still classify as what they are attracted to. Even elderly are still attracted to others, even if they can't or won't act on it.
 
calamity said:
When I was growing up, JR High era, there were guys who could not score chicks for sex. Rumors and some evidence thereof suggested that they were resorting to homosexual activities as an outlet. I doubt all of these guys were gay. They were just horny, and took advantage of any hole available--in this case, a willing gay kid.
Click to expand...

Eeehh... That'd strike me as being kind of questionable, personally. I can honestly say that I've never been so horny as to even begin to consider men as an alternative.

That's what old "Rightie" is for. :lol:
 
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calamity said:
When I was growing up, JR High era, there were guys who could not score chicks for sex. Rumors and some evidence thereof suggested that they were resorting to homosexual activities as an outlet. I doubt all of these guys were gay. They were just horny, and took advantage of any hole available--in this case, a willing gay kid.
Click to expand...

More than likely bi if we are to assume attraction, especially if they we're still wanting to hook up with girls. However as noted above, doing an act, such as same gender sex for money, doesn't necessarily mean they are attracted to what they are screwing.
 
It has always perplexed me how much energy some people put into deciding what is and is not gay. Ah, the fragility of the heterosexual...
 
GottaGo said:
Personally, I don't think it's so much the actions, it is the thought process that determines sexuality.

A person could be having sex with a member of the opposite gender, and be completely focused on a fantasy of it being some one of their same gender, and I would say they are either bi or gay.

It is the desire or attraction to a member of the same gender, beyond a passing fantasy. Many hold back on their desires and attractions, to conform to the 'hetero is normal' mentality of the masses.

Then there is 'pansexual'......
Click to expand...

'Pansexual' is when you are attracted to people of all genders and gender identities.
 
calamity said:
When I was growing up, JR High era, there were guys who could not score chicks for sex. Rumors and some evidence thereof suggested that they were resorting to homosexual activities as an outlet. I doubt all of these guys were gay. They were just horny, and took advantage of any hole available--in this case, a willing gay kid.
Click to expand...

Some of them might've been bisexual, who knows.
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
It has always perplexed me how much energy some people put into deciding what is and is not gay. Ah, the fragility of the heterosexual...
Click to expand...

Ironic that you'd say this, given that I'm pretty sure the OP actually isn't heterosexual, but some variety of self-identified Bi or Pan, and most of the actual heterosexuals here have basically dismissed the question on common sense terms (a la: if you want to have intercourse with the same sex, and you act upon that urge, you are most likely not 'heterosexual').
 
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