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Do you chase a girl who will leave in a year and a half?

idea_steed

idea_steed

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Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...

A year and a half's a long time. A lot may change between now and then.

What have you got to lose by going for it? :shrug:
 
Be friends, express your interest, but tell her you know she plans to leave and thus don't want to stand in the way of her goals. Turn your romantic attentions elsewhere.

This way all the bases are covered. You're not trying to put your dick in the way of her future, you'll have a good friend who may some day return to your life and willingly want to see you, and you won't get hurt when she leaves.
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...
just take it one step at a time and see where it goes naturally

you are aware of her future plans "at this time"

plans change, life changes us

enjoy her, that type of intimacy can be hard to find, don't let fear of the future mess up what "might be", nothing is guaranteed even when we think we are winning or might lose.
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...

Having a history of pursuing romances that are bound to be short lived, I'd say go for it. As for (possible) hurt feelings later ? Go ahead and let yourself feel it. Don't avoid a rich experience because of the fear it might end and the related pain.

caveat emptor
 
Gathomas88 said:
A year and a half's a long time. A lot may change between now and then.

What have you got to lose by going for it? :shrug:
Click to expand...
If we continue and have mutual feelings, we will have a hard time deciding to proceed or not, which costs time and energy. Even if we are together, when she leaves, we will feel sad.
Gathomas, what was the most short-lived romantic relationship you ever had?
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...

Delete.
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...

Depends. Are you ok with just taking it for what it is for the time you have?

If yes, sure, why not -- as long as she is too.

If not, don't bother. Don't expect her to drop her life for you. You will probably be disappointed.

Although I must add that I notice a trend of you going for women who are unavailable for one reason or another. Might wanna have a look at that.
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...

"Plans to leave in a year and half"... Why? (And that is a fair amount of time for conditions to change.)
 
Well lets see...

Your choice is to enjoy what you have now and maybe have a wonderful life experience or...

Worry about what might be a year or more from now and avoid the chance....

My advice? Live for the day. Carpe Diem!
 
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idea_steed said:
If we continue and have mutual feelings, we will have a hard time deciding to proceed or not, which costs time and energy. Even if we are together, when she leaves, we will feel sad.
Gathomas, what was the most short-lived romantic relationship you ever had?
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Roughly a month or so.

In any eventuality, there is such a thing as a "long term relationship." Those sorts of arrangements might very well be a bit more challenging than the standard model, but people have been known to make them work nevertheless.

The bottom line here is that if you really want this girl, think it's worth the effort to pursue her, and really think you have a shot, you should go for it. If not, then don't. It's entirely up to you. :shrug:
 
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idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...

If You Love her, and you will know it if you do, then you do what it takes, and if not, well ...have fun.
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...

You're having conversations "just like good friends"?

I think you've already found your answer.
 
Lutherf said:
You're having conversations "just like good friends"?

I think you've already found your answer.
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Come on, we just met a week ago. We share many things and she is responsive. I think that's a good start.
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...
I was involved in just such a relationship, except she had to leave in 6 mos!

I didn't think anything of it, 'cuz while I'm not really a 'hit & runner', to me a date or short romance is just that, and need not necessarily be anything more. I prefer to live in the moment, and take my moments when they're there, rather than wait around for something more.

The long & short: She was an amazing women that I fell head over heals for. Not just cute (she is), but just an amazing person that the more I spent time with the more I realized I was never going to find another women of this quality again. And I previously had a lot of dating & girlfriends.

So 3 weeks before she was due to leave for her homeland halfway around the world, I got her to marry me! (at quite a bit of personal hardship to herself & her family).

So I would never hesitate to date anyone I was interested in.
 
Gathomas88 said:
A year and a half's a long time. A lot may change between now and then.

What have you got to lose by going for it? :shrug:
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Agreed. If in a year and a half down the road your relationship makes you very happy, it may be worth considering leaving with her, wherever she's headed. But the reality is, as Gothomas88 says, you don't know what's going to happen between now and then. So why not give it a try? If it doesn't work, then that'll probably be clear long before a year and a half from now. If it does, it may be worth evaluating your options then.
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...

Well this is a strange coincidence, I'm in a similar situation!

A couple of months ago me and this girl started hanging out and I found out that she was heading to grad school a long way away next fall. I umm'd and ahh'd over properly asking her out as the idea of an actual relationship for such a short period of time seemed kind of silly, especially because I didn't think we were super compatible (i.e. we got on well and had a good time together but it wasn't a head over heels at first sight kind of thing - both of us are fairly laid back/casual). Things cooled off and we saw each other less, and when we did see each other it was completely platonically as friends, which was perfectly fine. Fast forward a few months to last Saturday and I run into her at a bar, we had this (admittedly kind of drunk) chat and emotions came out and decided screw it, lets get dinner together.

Even though she's only in town for 6 more months I'd rather spend those 6 months getting to know her and potentially having a great time instead of 6 months twiddling my thumbs and waiting for someone else who happens to like me to come along, whilst trying my luck at bars in the meantime. Things might not work out and my dinner tomorrow might not even go well but at least I know I went for it instead of just letting life pass me by. Could turn out to be nothing, could turn out casual, could turn into something serious. You never know unless you go for it. If you don't play you can't win.
 
Nilly said:
Well this is a strange coincidence, I'm in a similar situation!

A couple of months ago me and this girl started hanging out and I found out that she was heading to grad school a long way away next fall. I umm'd and ahh'd over properly asking her out as the idea of an actual relationship for such a short period of time seemed kind of silly, especially because I didn't think we were super compatible (i.e. we got on well and had a good time together but it wasn't a head over heels at first sight kind of thing - both of us are fairly laid back/casual). Things cooled off and we saw each other less, and when we did see each other it was completely platonically as friends, which was perfectly fine. Fast forward a few months to last Saturday and I run into her at a bar, we had this (admittedly kind of drunk) chat and emotions came out and decided screw it, lets get dinner together.

Even though she's only in town for 6 more months I'd rather spend those 6 months getting to know her and potentially having a great time instead of 6 months twiddling my thumbs and waiting for someone else who happens to like me to come along, whilst trying my luck at bars in the meantime. Things might not work out and my dinner tomorrow might not even go well but at least I know I went for it instead of just letting life pass me by. Could turn out to be nothing, could turn out casual, could turn into something serious. You never know unless you go for it. If you don't play you can't win.
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Good luck to you. Keep me posted.
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...

I would decide that there is no chance of a long term relationship and the decide how much time I anted to invest in her.
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...
It's say go for it, but than again I'm a romantic. Better to have loved and lost. Life is a gamble, you don't want to fold on a straight flush.
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...

As long as you don't have a hissy fit when she leaves in a year and a half, sure, knock yourself out.
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...

A) What is ya'lls ages
B) Leaving Where (Distance wise)
C) Leaving for What
 
idea_steed said:
Here is the thing, I think the girl who I just met is really good and attractive. We are having great conversations, sharing personal experiences and feelings with each other just like good friends. I think I have a chance. But, I discover that she plans to leave in a year and half.
If you were me, what would you do? Stay friends, be better friends or try to make her your girlfriend?
Click to expand...
The vast majority of relationships don't last nearly that long.

If, right out of the blocks, you're thinking of marrying this woman and spending the rest of your life with her, then you are getting WAAAAAAYYYY to far ahead of yourself.
 
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