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Sex For The First Time?

A

Ancient Herald

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I wish to present a question for discussion. I'm asking out of curiosity, nothing more.

When you had sex for the first time, other than losing your virginity, did it change you in any way?
 
After the first time, i stopped idealizing it so much.... I realized it was very, I don't know the word..... natural? It's not something that is unusual or something to make you feel uncomfortable...

It's just sex...which is great and fun, and can mean a lot depending on who you do it with... but the meaning is what gives anything meaning... not the action...
 
It got me to really appreciate the realm of the senses -- the soft, supple hands, the teasing caresses, the smell of sweat building up as the heat rises, the sudden release of .....


Oh, you meant with somebody else, didn't you?



never mind
 
Ancient Herald said:
I wish to present a question for discussion. I'm asking out of curiosity, nothing more.

When you had sex for the first time, other than losing your virginity, did it change you in any way?
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Not really. I was pretty comfortable with him since we'd been dating and doing other things for a while, I felt comfortable with our contraceptive measures, and there was a certain air of playfulness to it. I wasn't nervous really -- it was more just like we were going on a new adventure. I think I had a pretty idyllic first time. If it changed me at all, it just made more comfortable with myself and gave me a good future expectation for how I should expect men to treat me in bed.

He was a nice boy, and we had a good time.
 
No, after a lot of rejection from people in general, i was too suspicious of being used. Then again, being used would've been an improvement at that time...
 
The only thing it changed about me was I stopped caring so much about sex. My first time was awkward, it was not with someone I cared about, and while it felt good it was not exactly enjoyable. I didn't regret it and still don't but it taught me that I had the entirely wrong idea about sex. I had bought into all the hype and fantasy of what sex was and so I went into it with little conception of intimacy. While I am sure there are plenty of people who are content to use another person as an object of masturbation, that form of sex has very little appeal to me. I do not think there is necessarily a right or wrong way to go about it, but you definitely learn about yourself and what you really want.
 
Well, i only know partially what want.

I'm not really into casual sex, despite how pleasurable (as some claim but i often wonder) some say.

What I want is a meaningful relationship with a woman who loves and respects me as a person.

But I have no clue what gives a sexual relationship meaning beyond just physical reaction.
 
Ancient Herald said:
Well, i only know partially what want.

I'm not really into casual sex, despite how pleasurable (as some claim but i often wonder) some say.

What I want is a meaningful relationship with a woman who loves and respects me as a person.

But I have no clue what gives a sexual relationship meaning beyond just physical reaction.
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It's a type of communication. You read a lot about your partner by how their body is reacting, and over time, you're not just picking up on the moment. You're picking up on their health, and general well-being. Some men apparently can tell where a woman is in her cycle.

It's play of sorts for many social mammals, including humans. A way to exercise your imagination, feel closer by sharing and then doing stuff that you've thought of, or learning how to do old things better or differently. It's fun. Fun is meaningful unto itself, at times. Not everything needs to have some kind of existential justification.

It is one way of meeting your need for intimacy -- general sense of closeness and the physical need for touch. There's many ways of doing that, but sex is certainly an important one to a lot of people -- the whole "making love" concept.
 
Ancient Herald said:
I wish to present a question for discussion. I'm asking out of curiosity, nothing more.

When you had sex for the first time, other than losing your virginity, did it change you in any way?
Click to expand...

Yes, it was better than I had imagined, and I imagined it was going to be pretty damned good. I liked everything about it. It's been good ever since then.

Many people don't seem to clearly understand this but sex primarily takes place in your head and not in your nether region. How I understood that early on is a mystery to me.

There is still a lot of guilt, shame, embarrassment and confusion going on out there even among people who have long been adults. Seems to me far too many people struggle with some self-imposed need for permission to really enjoy it.
 
Hopefully, I'll be able to let you know after this weekend. It would've been sooner, but last weekend my credit card was declined.
 
A bit "overhyped," to be honest.

Don't get me wrong. I did pretty well for my first time, and it was certainly fun. However, it wasn't what I'd describe as being "intimate," and hardly came off as anything particularly world changing as such. My ultimate impression was that it was something I could really sort of "take or leave."

I felt a bit more confident and at ease with women in general afterwards, and less like I had something to hide around guys my own age. I guess that's something, at the very least. :shrug:

CriticalThought said:
While I am sure there are plenty of people who are content to use another person as an object of masturbation, that form of sex has very little appeal to me.
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Exactly. If all I'm after is a quick orgasm, I can take care of that myself without having to go through a fraction of the hassle and fuss involved with trying to coax a girl into bed. Hell! Given how awkward the first time having sex with any particular partner tends to be, it might even be more pleasurable, on the whole, to simply go solo.

Making a human connection is nice. However, that's ultimately rather hollow if all one's looking to do is have a one off experience. I'd much rather just have someone to hang out with on the regular.
 
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It was a rather, crappy experience and the person I was with was of no help at all, even though they were much more experienced than I.
My hand would of been a better encounter.
 
Gathomas88 said:
A bit "overhyped," to be honest.

Don't get me wrong. I did pretty well for my first time, and it was certainly fun. However, it wasn't what I'd describe as being "intimate," and hardly came off as anything particularly world changing as such. My ultimate impression was that it was something I could really sort of "take or leave."

I felt a bit more confident and at ease with women in general afterwards, and less like I had something to hide around guys my own age. I guess that's something, at the very least. :shrug:



Exactly. If all I'm after is a quick orgasm, I can take care of that myself without having to go through a fraction of the hassle and fuss involved with trying to coax a girl into bed. Hell! Given how awkward the first time having sex with any particular partner tends to be, it might even be more pleasurable, on the whole, to simply go solo.

Making a human connection is nice. However, that's ultimately rather hollow if all one's looking to do is have a one off experience. I'd much rather just have someone to hang out with on the regular.
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sounds like you're thinking of joining the other team...
 
chromium said:
sounds like you're thinking of joining the other team...
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Uhhh... No. Would you ask the same of CriticalThought or Harry?

Don't get me wrong. Sex is great and all. Casual sex (which my first time was) simply doesn't strike me as being particularly worthwhile.

It just feels like it's lacking something, IMO.
 
Ancient Herald said:
I wish to present a question for discussion. I'm asking out of curiosity, nothing more.

When you had sex for the first time, other than losing your virginity, did it change you in any way?
Click to expand...
yes it pissed me off that I had been told that this was some sacred ritual that was transcendent and that somehow god cared about this and wished to limit it and judge me

what a load of tripe that was

if I was going to do it all over again I wouldn't have "saved myself" for so long...it was all a lie propagated by those who have made god some formidable frighting presence and who are afraid of everything
 
Ancient Herald said:
The other team?
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i'm just messing with him because he likes to rant about the "disorder" of homosexuality, yet his post was basically a synopsis of the disadvantages of being a heterosexual male who is single

annoyance of convincing a girl to have sex vs gay hookup apps
"someone to hang out with" = easier with another dude, humans are homosocial

doesn't want to raise a family, finds relationships and even hooking up to be a hassle. Yep, it's either jerking off or find a nice sugar daddy
 
Gathomas88 said:
Uhhh... No. Would you ask the same of CriticalThought or Harry?

Don't get me wrong. Sex is great and all. Casual sex (which my first time was) simply doesn't strike me as being particularly worthwhile.

It just feels like it's lacking something, IMO.
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i don't see CT saying he finds hooking up with men to be a hassle

You built something up in your mind for 25 years or whatever, and it was a letdown. Maybe it's the expectations that should change. Like settling for a nice to guy to cuddle up with
 
SmokeAndMirrors said:
Not really. I was pretty comfortable with him since we'd been dating and doing other things for a while, I felt comfortable with our contraceptive measures, and there was a certain air of playfulness to it. I wasn't nervous really -- it was more just like we were going on a new adventure. I think I had a pretty idyllic first time. If it changed me at all, it just made more comfortable with myself and gave me a good future expectation for how I should expect men to treat me in bed.

He was a nice boy, and we had a good time.
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Thank you S&M. You were a nice girl and I had a good time too. XOXOXO
 
chromium said:
i'm just messing with him because he likes to rant about the "disorder" of homosexuality, yet his post was basically a synopsis of the disadvantages of being a heterosexual male who is single

annoyance of convincing a girl to have sex vs gay hookup apps
"someone to hang out with" = easier with another dude, humans are homosocial

doesn't want to raise a family, finds relationships and even hooking up to be a hassle. Yep, it's either jerking off or find a nice sugar daddy
Click to expand...

chromium said:
i don't see CT saying he finds hooking up with men to be a hassle

You built something up in your mind for 25 years or whatever, and it was a letdown. Maybe it's the expectations that should change. Like settling for a nice to guy to cuddle up with
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Ummm... Wut? You're trolling, right?

There are a hell of a lot of points on the spectrum between "Hooking up with women is a hassle" and "I want to have sex with men." The phrase "non-sequitur" doesn't even begin to describe the argument you've thrown up here.

In any eventuality, I made myself more than clear. Sex is nice and all, but it's not really worth the effort of going out of my way to hump complete strangers for. I'd prefer to have an actual partner, not a "f*** buddy."
 
Gathomas88 said:
Ummm... Wut? You're trolling, right?

There are a hell of a lot of points on the spectrum between "Hooking up with women is a hassle" and "I want to have sex with men."

"Non-sequitur" doesn't even begin to describe the argument you've thrown up here.
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well at least you should be able to agree that heterosexuality is disordered. Look at all the hassle it causes with finding sexual partners
 
chromium said:
well at least you should be able to agree that heterosexuality is disordered. Look at all the hassle it causes with finding sexual partners
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hm....I'm pretty sure women never have a problem find multiple willing sex partners at any age, any weight, or any leaning

just saying :mrgreen:
 
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