Would You Stay With Your Soulmate If They Were Transgender?

CMPancake said:

Simple question, with a pretty simple hypothetical scenario. Let us say you are single, and you have made your perfect mate. They're attractive, funny, smart, and agree with you on almost everything. Rarely ever a moment do you two fight or argue, everything between you two is bliss. Complete and utter happiness. (Hell even your sex-life has never been better.) Until one day, your SO tells you a secret. A secret they were horrified to share with you. They are a Transexual Post-op person. Would you still be with this person knowing full well they used to be a different gender?

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Well, depends. When she isn't capable of having children, that's a killer, regardless if she's transgender or not. Because children are extremely important for me and that's nothing I would give up for my partner. But since I am currently married and have a (first) child, asking this hypothetical question for the hypothetical case I'd have to look for a new partner AND have children already -- I guess in that case, it wouldn't matter if she's transgender.

Btw, a similar thing happened to me: A former girlfriend of mine at some point found out she's transgender and wanted to become a dude. Our romantic relationship ended, but he's still a very close friend and was my best man at my wedding. So in the end, not *that* much changed between us, except that our close relationship no longer was a romantic and sexual one.

CMPancake said:

Simple question, with a pretty simple hypothetical scenario. Let us say you are single, and you have made your perfect mate. They're attractive, funny, smart, and agree with you on almost everything. Rarely ever a moment do you two fight or argue, everything between you two is bliss. Complete and utter happiness. (Hell even your sex-life has never been better.) Until one day, your SO tells you a secret. A secret they were horrified to share with you. They are a Transexual Post-op person. Would you still be with this person knowing full well they used to be a different gender?

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1. I wouldn't be engaged in fornication in the first place.

2. No of course not.

My soul mate would trust me enough to tell me the truth. A relationship based on a lie is what bothers me in most your scenario.
Having said that, I am not sure if I could engage in, or continue, a relationship with someone who has identity difficulties and just being/remaining friends is the more likely scenario.
Perhaps transgenders would be more comfortable with other transgenders?
You wanted honest, you got it.

I wouldn't care if my soul mate was a golden retriever before changing into an intelligent and witty woman...

CMPancake said:

Simple question, with a pretty simple hypothetical scenario. Let us say you are single, and you have made your perfect mate. They're attractive, funny, smart, and agree with you on almost everything. Rarely ever a moment do you two fight or argue, everything between you two is bliss. Complete and utter happiness. (Hell even your sex-life has never been better.) Until one day, your SO tells you a secret. A secret they were horrified to share with you. They are a Transexual Post-op person. Would you still be with this person knowing full well they used to be a different gender?

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In that case, I wouldn't care and would still stay with them. I might be a little hurt they felt they couldn't be honest from the beginning but I could also understand the fear.

Medusa said:

what l understand from soul mate is not a real soul ,but the same characteristics of two persons

some arrogant people ignore it and attack the others

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Soulmate - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

It can be similarities but, if you [in my case] are attracted to another dude, there would be other issues to consider.

Fact is, if ones is blinded by emotion or physical attraction, they don't actually have a 'soul mate'.

CMPancake said:

Simple question, with a pretty simple hypothetical scenario. Let us say you are single, and you have made your perfect mate. They're attractive, funny, smart, and agree with you on almost everything. Rarely ever a moment do you two fight or argue, everything between you two is bliss. Complete and utter happiness. (Hell even your sex-life has never been better.) Until one day, your SO tells you a secret. A secret they were horrified to share with you. They are a Transexual Post-op person. Would you still be with this person knowing full well they used to be a different gender?

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I find it hard to believe that I wouldn't have figured it out, or noticed something already, if I knew them intimately enough to consider them my soul mate, but if it was already to that point, of course I would stay. A relationship is much more than that.

Without a doubt yes. That wouldn't matter to me at all. I would be a little upset that they didn't tell me earlier, but if they were my soulmate, I'd be able to let that go.

CMPancake said:

Simple question, with a pretty simple hypothetical scenario. Let us say you are single, and you have made your perfect mate. They're attractive, funny, smart, and agree with you on almost everything. Rarely ever a moment do you two fight or argue, everything between you two is bliss. Complete and utter happiness. (Hell even your sex-life has never been better.) Until one day, your SO tells you a secret. A secret they were horrified to share with you. They are a Transexual Post-op person. Would you still be with this person knowing full well they used to be a different gender?

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My cat is neutered, but I think the world of her.

CMPancake said:

Simple question, with a pretty simple hypothetical scenario. Let us say you are single, and you have made your perfect mate. They're attractive, funny, smart, and agree with you on almost everything. Rarely ever a moment do you two fight or argue, everything between you two is bliss. Complete and utter happiness. (Hell even your sex-life has never been better.) Until one day, your SO tells you a secret. A secret they were horrified to share with you. They are a Transexual Post-op person. Would you still be with this person knowing full well they used to be a different gender?

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Anyone who enjoys living in a land of fruits and nuts woulnd't be too bothered by it.

Those who have an IQ past 70 would be able to put together other clues such as body shape, facial and body hair and many other details than surgery and hormone therapy can't perfectly mask.

CMPancake said:

Simple question, with a pretty simple hypothetical scenario. Let us say you are single, and you have made your perfect mate. They're attractive, funny, smart, and agree with you on almost everything. Rarely ever a moment do you two fight or argue, everything between you two is bliss. Complete and utter happiness. (Hell even your sex-life has never been better.) Until one day, your SO tells you a secret. A secret they were horrified to share with you. They are a Transexual Post-op person. Would you still be with this person knowing full well they used to be a different gender?

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Nope. As far as I'm concerned, they'd still be a man, so I'd be gone in a heart beat.

I'd also be furious that this person had kept that kind of information from me.

I don't quite understand the outrage about that "lie" in the hypothetical case.

I mean, it's not that any of us would tell our potential partner our dirtiest secrets on the first date, right? That's something you save for (a little) later. Until some basic trust has been established.

Well, maybe some do tell this right in the beginning, and that's honorable, but my guess is they won't have many chances on the dating market then.

Or would you tell your date right away that you've once been arrested by the police, that you once did this or that drug (and if it just was once), that you see a therapist or you take ataractics, that you once were married before or something like that -- not including the cases when it's safe to say such a thing right due to the context of the date? See. You don't.

You wait until she/he has his/her first impression of you and has already reached the conclusion that you're not some kind of violent psycho criminal, and THEN you tell him/her. After some basic trust has been established, and not before, for that this "dirty secret" won't cause prejudices.

So I perfectly understand transgenders who don't reveal it right from the beginning. They just want to give the date a fair chance and don't want prejudices get in the way of a fair first impression.

However, I'd really expect him/her to tell it once that point has been reached. Much like I'd expect anybody else to tell about the other examples I mentioned. At a point when it would indeed become a kind of lie, and when it would be untrue to the established trust not to reveal it.

CMPancake said:

Simple question, with a pretty simple hypothetical scenario. Let us say you are single, and you have made your perfect mate. They're attractive, funny, smart, and agree with you on almost everything. Rarely ever a moment do you two fight or argue, everything between you two is bliss. Complete and utter happiness. (Hell even your sex-life has never been better.) Until one day, your SO tells you a secret. A secret they were horrified to share with you. They are a Transexual Post-op person. Would you still be with this person knowing full well they used to be a different gender?

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If she was a dude and now a dudette, no problems.

If its a dudette and turns into a dude, yeah, im not attracted to penises. Make a good best friend though.

Rainman05 said:

Okay, you know what, you don't know sufficient english to carry this dialogue with me. I stated this above

You can't read, I'm not going to tolerate your pointless comments anymore.

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First of all...I'm really pissed that I am in a position to defend Medusa here, but...

Her language and communication skills on this point have been pretty spot on and clear. You just dont agree with her. And thats totally fine...but dont pretend the conflict is with her verbiage.

Now...lets forget we ever had this conversation.......

WCH said:

Soulmate - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

It can be similarities but, if you [in my case] are attracted to another dude, there would be other issues to consider.

Fact is, if ones is blinded by emotion or physical attraction, they don't actually have a 'soul mate'.

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maybe but wwe cant know whether they are just attracted to their beautiful faces or not

CMPancake said:

Simple question, with a pretty simple hypothetical scenario. Let us say you are single, and you have made your perfect mate. They're attractive, funny, smart, and agree with you on almost everything. Rarely ever a moment do you two fight or argue, everything between you two is bliss. Complete and utter happiness. (Hell even your sex-life has never been better.) Until one day, your SO tells you a secret. A secret they were horrified to share with you. They are a Transexual Post-op person. Would you still be with this person knowing full well they used to be a different gender?

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They were never my perfect mate if they've been lying to me the entire time. The relationship is built upon a lie. Best to dump the trash asap and figure out why I was so easily conned by this liar.

spud_meister said:

Yeah, probably. My girlfriend has Turner Syndrome, so according to a few people on here, she's not actually a woman anyway.

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But you knew that, she hasn't been lying to you.

No, but then I don't believe in the concept of soul mates either. Everyone is lovable.

Ladyboys can be fun for a fling, but every one I have ever encountered has been emotionally unstable with a wide range of mental illnesses.

No, I would not. What part of it's a man is hard to grasp? Hell, according to the situation you laid out they lied to me about it. Why would I stay with someone that deceived me in such a way?

foadi said:

No, but then I don't believe in the concept of soul mates either. Everyone is lovable.

Ladyboys can be fun for a fling, but every one I have ever encountered has been emotionally unstable with a wide range of mental illnesses.

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You must live a more exciting life than me. Most of my male friends are pretty much either hetero or gay while many of my female friends tend to be all over the map. None of them have altered their genitalia though.

German guy said:

I don't quite understand the outrage about that "lie" in the hypothetical case.

I mean, it's not that any of us would tell our potential partner our dirtiest secrets on the first date, right? That's something you save for (a little) later. Until some basic trust has been established.

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Being a man is a hell of a secret. Going so far as to sleep with the person and not tell them that you're a man shows a real lack of respect and common decency.

So I perfectly understand transgenders who don't reveal it right from the beginning. They just want to give the date a fair chance and don't want prejudices get in the way of a fair first impression.

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They damn well know straight men are attracted to women. This isn't like maybe he won't accept me because I did some kind of crime in the past, but that you are literally lying and misrepresenting yourself as something you are not.

clownboy said:

They were never my perfect mate if they've been lying to me the entire time. The relationship is built upon a lie. Best to dump the trash asap and figure out why I was so easily conned by this liar.

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Bingo. The entire relationship is based on the premise that the individual is something they are not. They basically only got you to stay because they lied to you.

Fletch said:

2). Any dude who cuts off his dick sought out a surgeon when he needed a shrink.

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The surgery requires you be evaluated by a shrink.

Flamethrower said:

Anyone who enjoys living in a land of fruits and nuts woulnd't be too bothered by it.

Those who have an IQ past 70 would be able to put together other clues such as body shape, facial and body hair and many other details than surgery and hormone therapy can't perfectly mask.

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Hormones affect body shape.
Facial hair/body hair can be permanently removed and of course facial hair/body hair is a consequence of hormones.

No offense, but you don't appear to know the basics.

Flamethrower said:

Anyone who enjoys living in a land of fruits and nuts woulnd't be too bothered by it.

Those who have an IQ past 70 would be able to put together other clues such as body shape, facial and body hair and many other details than surgery and hormone therapy can't perfectly mask.

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That used to be the case. However, body shape, facial hair etc etc are part of development , and they are doing hormone therapy earlier and earlier. There are some trans these days you just can't tell.