Thread: How many?

I had four serious relationships, including the one I am currently in, more happy than ever.

I never cheated on my girlfriends when we were in a relationship, but in between the serious relationships, I had five more superficial encounters/one night stands/affairs. I am glad I made this "wild period" experience, because like that, I don't feel I am missing anything when I now commit myself entirely to my fiancée.

I also learnt that I am really more a "serious relationship" kind of person. The one night stands felt rather unfulfilled and "empty", as someone said.

Originally Posted by evanescence

And for those six people who have slept with 30+ people, more details please. Is it fun being promiscuous?

I think it is.

Originally Posted by evanescence

What is your exact number?

I lost count a couple decades ago. It's well into the hundreds by now.

You have to consider that I became sexually active when I was only 12, I've only been in 3 committed relationships, none of which lasted very long, so I've been playing the field most of my life and I also worked in the sex industry for a while.

Originally Posted by evanescence

And aren't you afraid of icky germs?

Catching something is always a concern, but to me it's worth the risk.

Originally Posted by Muhammed

I think it is.

I lost count a couple decades ago. It's well into the hundreds by now.

You have to consider that I became sexually active when I was only 12, I've only been in 3 committed relationships, none of which lasted very long, so I've been playing the field most of my life and I also worked in the sex industry for a while.

Catching something is always a concern, but to me it's worth the risk.

So the act of sex is essentially meaningless to you? It is merely a means to ejaculate? I'm not trying to judge- just wanna understand...

Originally Posted by evanescence

That's what i was thinking. And my husband told me the same thing. He was promiscuous before we got together and he described it as "empty."

Originally Posted by lizzie

Not having actual experience, I can't say if it's fun (or not) being promiscuous, but I would tend to expect it to be temporily fun, but personally unfulfilling in the long term, unless one really doesn't desire to have some depth in relationships, which does happen.

I'm not into the territory of the 30+'ers, but I had a period where I was playing the field considerably more than I do now. And ultimately, I stopped because it stopped being fun. But not for the reasons you're implying.

I can enjoy sex for all kinds of reasons. Romance is just one of them. It isn't necessarily sex without love that's the problem to me. It's sex without familiarity.

Having great sex takes time. You can have all the experience in the world, but everyone is unique, and to have really amazing sex, you need to practice with that person.

Short flings don't give you the opportunity to do that. The sex is mediocre at best, I could do a better job getting myself off, and no, that isn't really worth the risks involved.

Also, sex in the absence of romance does not imply that a person "doesn't like depth" in their relationships. And honestly, I think people who see it that way have a very one-dimensional view of the full breadth of human relationships.

As far as the risks, it's really down to a personal assessment. What's greater, the reward for the sex, or the risk that could come from it, and what degree of hassle reduces your risk enough to make it worth it? I take said risks fairly seriously and always have. I am religious about condom use to the point where I insist on putting it on myself and supplying them myself because I know what brands I trust, and also about making sure both myself and my partners have been recently tested. I'm also getting fixed in a bit over a month and got the Gardasil vaccine at 17. So, I'm willing to go to a fair amount of hassle.

As was discussed earlier, being in relationships does not necessarily get rid of these risks, most especially unwanted pregnancy, but STD's too, given what a high percentage of people cheat, or the fact that most of us get into multiple serious relationships over our lives. This stuff is just a reality of being an adult, and there really isn't anything you can do to completely eliminate these risks from your life short of permanent celibacy.

It's like anything else. You just decide which risks are worth it to you and which ones aren't and with what degree of precautions.

Originally Posted by Enola

I was a child of the late 60's. I ain't saying a word.

"Love the one you're with".

lol..... early 70's about the same thing, I also plead the 5th

The numbers don't always tell the entire story. Sometimes for whatever reason, people don't always do well with LTR's. I was one of those people. Spent a lot of my adult life single, without a SO of any kind. My relationships typically did not last more than 6 months. When I was in one, I tended to be faithful (with a couple of exceptions) but the relationships were failing by that time anyway. When things were going well, I was always faithful. the LTR thing just didn't work out for me for the longest time. So, in the space of a year, my numbers of different partners would not ring any alarm bells, but over time they do accumulate. I did have some promiscuous times in my life, but overall I wasn't out constantly finding someone new just because.

Overall I do not regret the way things have turned out, and even though I have needed quite a learning curve, I have found an incredible woman and am now in an amazing relationship which will become a married one in just over 2 weeks. You can't just go by numbers alone, there are many reasons behind them.

Originally Posted by evanescence

So the act of sex is essentially meaningless to you? It is merely a means to ejaculate? I'm not trying to judge- just wanna understand...

Hehe- I believe it's very difficult for women to understand this as a rule, as we typically want seriousness in addition to pleasure. That's probably what makes us both endearing and maddening.

Originally Posted by Snake_Plissken

lol..... early 70's about the same thing, I also plead the 5th

I was a child of the 60's and a teen in the early 70's, but I was looking for love, and when you were looking for love back then, you spent alot of lonely hours.

Originally Posted by evanescence

So the act of sex is essentially meaningless to you?

Aren't you being a bit presumptuous when you say that?

Originally Posted by SmokeAndMirrors

I'm not into the territory of the 30+'ers, but I had a period where I was playing the field considerably more than I do now. And ultimately, I stopped because it stopped being fun. But not for the reasons you're implying.

I can enjoy sex for all kinds of reasons. Romance is just one of them. It isn't necessarily sex without love that's the problem to me. It's sex without familiarity.

Having great sex takes time. You can have all the experience in the world, but everyone is unique, and to have really amazing sex, you need to practice with that person.

No, that's mostly what I was getting at. I am not making a moral judgment in this thread.

Originally Posted by SmokeAndMirrors

Short flings don't give you the opportunity to do that. The sex is mediocre at best, I could do a better job getting myself off, and no, that isn't really worth the risks involved.

Also, sex in the absence of romance does not imply that a person "doesn't like depth" in their relationships. And honestly, I think people who see it that way have a very one-dimensional view of the full breadth of human relationships.

I am not a romantic person. Point fail.

Originally Posted by SmokeAndMirrors

As far as the risks, it's really down to a personal assessment. What's greater, the reward for the sex, or the risk that could come from it, and what degree of hassle reduces your risk enough to make it worth it? I take said risks fairly seriously and always have. I am religious about condom use to the point where I insist on putting it on myself and supplying them myself because I know what brands I trust, and also about making sure both myself and my partners have been recently tested. I'm also getting fixed in a bit over a month and got the Gardasil vaccine at 17. So, I'm willing to go to a fair amount of hassle.

As was discussed earlier, being in relationships does not necessarily get rid of these risks, most especially unwanted pregnancy, but STD's too, given what a high percentage of people cheat, or the fact that most of us get into multiple serious relationships over our lives. This stuff is just a reality of being an adult, and there really isn't anything you can do to completely eliminate these risks from your life short of permanent celibacy.

It's like anything else. You just decide which risks are worth it to you and which ones aren't and with what degree of precautions.

Some people actually get off on sleeping with strangers. I know someone like this. She's had something like 80 partners. Gross-- but whatever. Then again, I am OCD with germs. I guess for someone like her, it's not important. And she has had many infections. (I suspect childhood sexual abuse to be the cause of her extreme promiscuity). If I was a guy, I wouldn't touch that pussy with a ten foot pole much less a dick. But guys are often less choosy in many cases. I guess it depends on rather a person wants to simply ejaculate like an animal would, or take it to a more sophisticated level.

Originally Posted by Muhammed

Aren't you being a bit presumptuous when you say that?

No, I don't. Having sex with multiple people seems to cheapen the experience. How can you get to know a person if you **** them and move on to the next one in line. When you make a friend, do you have one quick conversation, and move on to the next person? How can you possibly experience what any one individual has to offer? And you say that you were a sex worker? 'Nuff said.