Thread: Sexual Bad Ideas [W:291]

Originally Posted by Baralis

Sleeping with a woman you had just met a half hour earlier and know nothing about...


to wake up in the morning to find that she is married and her husband is home from work sitting in the living room watching the TV with their kids.

One helluva great way to get your ass killed, I would think.

Next time, shell out for a cheap hotel, Baralis. I don't (usually) condone adultery but Jesus, nobody should risk dying just to get laid.

Stay safe!

its a bad idea to masturbate oneself with sandpaper.

Originally Posted by Thunder

its a bad idea to masturbate oneself with sandpaper.

And yet, you feel you have to try everything at least once, do ya, Thunder?

Originally Posted by liblady

damn guys.......get a beach blanket. problem solved.

NO. We had a blanket.....makes no difference.

Originally Posted by The Baron

A police officer friend of mine was telling me of an occasion in which he checked on a car that was parked in an isolated location. It was night and when he used his flash-light to peer in the windows he found two naked teenagers that were fast asleep. Apparenlty thier amourous adventure had left both of them exhausted.

My friend went back to his patrol car and called for every other available squad car in the area to to circle around the teenagers car very quietly. When everyone was in place they all hit thier lights and sirens at the same time shouting commands to "Get Out of the Car with Your Hands-Up!"

My friend says it was the funniest thing he had ever seen...

I can actually one-up that.....

The town next to where I grew up had an incident with their police chief a number of years back. Late on a Saturday evening he calls dispatch from and informs them that he needs an officer to come to his location and let him out of his cruiser. The local newspaper hears this on the scanner and, assuming he meant let him INTO his cruiser, sends a photographer and reporter to get a pic and a quick report on the chief having locked himself out of his cruiser. When they get there, the police chief is in fact locked IN the back of his cruiser, with a lady of the evening he had picked up. Boy did that make for an interesting story in the paper. Especially when it came out that this was not the first time this had occured.

Originally Posted by Thunder

its a bad idea for her to use her teeth.

No, she just needs expert technique. She should provide sensation, not arouse fears in you that she's suddenly been possessed by the spirit of Lorena Bobbit.

Note to you menfolk: never demand a BJ from your lover immediately after you have ROYALLY pissed them off.

Originally Posted by Thunder

this is my fantasy.

how did you know?

I can see inside your head when you do not have it wrapped up in tinfoil, Thunder.

VERY interesting man you are, I must say!

Originally Posted by Thunder

farting while someone is going down on you, is mean.

Ive never done it, its never happened to me.

but if it did....it would be mean.

Thunder, such things are usually involuntary. Learn to laugh, so your lover's embarrassment doesn't become shame.

Have you ever read this book?

Originally Posted by MKULTRABOY

Wrapping oneself in saran wrap to prevent std transmission.

Sweetie, I am not entirely sure this the right thread for you.....



Black Lycra Spandex Unisex Zentai Suit - Milanoo.com

Originally Posted by tessaesque

I got caught by the mother of a guy I was "dating". I was banned from the house, so every hook-up after that involved sneaking me in. That house was the same one where I/we ruined the suede sofa with KY. Pretty sure that kid's mother still hates me.

I had a thing for men with authority and ended up hooking up with one of my managers when I worked at the theater. He was in the middle of a divorce and had apparently not had sex in quite some time, because he lasted about 20 seconds and then fist pumped in celebration when he finished. It was bitterly disappointing and pretty much killed that fetish for me.

When I lived at home I used to have phone sex with a guy I had dated who had moved out of state. My room was directly across from my parents', so when the bed would squeak or my dialogue/noises got a little loud I could expect my father at the door knocking and saying, "Whatever you're doing in there, stop doing it and go to bed."

I also later found out that they could hear my vibrator, even with their tv and my tv on and both doors shut.

Dry humping somebody with just your underwear on will result in rug burn so bad that your knee-caps scab over and walking hurts for several days afterward.

Hooking up on the ice at a skate rink (in a mall) is not fun. It's too open, too cold, too echo-y, and too likely you'll be discovered by the security guard you've been flirting with for the last several months, which will then ruin your chances with said security guard.

If you're sleeping in an empty bed at a college apartment and your slightly slutty friend has squeezed into bed across the room with one of the apartment residents....they're going to have sex. And it won't matter how often you cough, tell them to quiet down, or mock them.....they'll continue until they finish.

Dated a guy once who would say, "you like that, mama?" during sex. The answer was and always will be "no".

Belt buckles are very, very loud when you're in a room with several other people and you're trying to sneak some 3rd base action during a movie.