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What do you do when your kid is more square than you?

X Factor said:
I'm sure you believe you're right in every regard. Is there anything positive you'd like us to actually know about him?
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My boy Theo:

Hardest worker you will find once he decides the project is worth his time
At 9 he started a lawn mowing business with his bestie, worked all summer, got a kick ass computer system that we could not afford to get him.
Was #20 something in the nation at Call of Duty at one point (can we all say WOW!)
Very smart intellectually
Very smart emotionally
Very talented socially
Will be top 10% as a Army officer
Daugher #1 said last week to me that he "is an amazing brother".
Choose the best rye as my present for my birthday, the boy is thoughtful
Is one ripped mother****er
Is as cute as all get out
Has all the girls after him
Chooses only the best
Gets way way more ***** than I ever got

.
.
.
I'll stop now since I am getting into Trump territory, I know how that pisses some folks off.
 
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Hawkeye10 said:
Which is supposed to be worse than being an alcoholic weed fanatic who failed in business, retired at 54, and is living off my wifes income till I kick??!!
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WHY are you retired at 54 AND bankrupt?

Why are you smoking dope AND bankrupt?

Why are you bankrupt, but living off your wife's income? Are you some kind of skeez-ball moocher who is too damn lazy to work?
Do you have some kind of entitlement issue?

If you're some kind of conservative - aren't you living a gigantic life of hypocrisy right now?
Do you talk the talk, but not walk the walk?

Are you fully capable of working, but just chose to be a loser?

Or, are you disabled? Do you have some kind of serious handicap? A deadly illness perhaps? Something with no cure?

What's really your friggin deal?

Why are you you bankrupt, but "retired", and only 54 years old? That's complete bullsh!t for most people.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
being an alcoholic weed fanatic who failed in business, retired at 54, and is living off my wifes income till I kick
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Sorry - forgot to answer the question that started this thread.

What do you do when your kid is more square than you?
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Answer: In your case, be thankful.
 
unrelated to your son, you should stop using drugs and find something to do. even if you don't want to work, do something that keeps you occupied, the way you're going you won't make it to 60. retirement = death, don't do it.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
Which is supposed to be worse than being an alcoholic weed fanatic who failed in business, retired at 54, and is living off my wifes income till I kick??!!
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You've sure presented it like you think it's worse - way worse. You're all above the need to work while he's just this self absorbed prick. You probably have been a role model to him and showed him what he didn't want to grow up to be. Those things you hate about him, are probably, largely your fault.
 
Dragonfly said:
WHY are you retired at 54 AND bankrupt?

Why are you smoking dope AND bankrupt?

Why are you bankrupt, but living off your wife's income? Are you some kind of skeez-ball moocher who is too damn lazy to work?
Do you have some kind of entitlement issue?

If you're some kind of conservative - aren't you living a gigantic life of hypocrisy right now?
Do you talk the talk, but not walk the walk?

Are you fully capable of working, but just chose to be a loser?

Or, are you disabled? Do you have some kind of serious handicap? A deadly illness perhaps? Something with no cure?

What's really your friggin deal?

Why are you you bankrupt, but "retired", and only 54 years old? That's complete bullsh!t for most people.
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There's just something about the tone of this thread that's just really irritating, isn't it?
 
Hawkeye10 said:
I have worked hard this life, with an almost solid record of success....having fun now is non negotiable.
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You and I have a very different idea of working hard and what a solid record of success is. Your son does not share your attitude about how you deserve nothing but getting high everyday, y'know, since you've worked so, so hard to age 54 and you're entitled to relax now for the rest of your life. You should be thankful for that rather than criticizing him for it. The truth is, I don't think he respects you and I don't think that can be fixed. I'm not trying to be mean, it's just something I've seen within my own family and once that ship has sailed, it doesn't usually come back. None of that means he doesn't love you, though. Take whatever you can get in that regard.

Oh, and I'm not sure it's possible to be more square than a person who uses the word "square" to describe someone.
 
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Hawkeye10 said:
Jeez, and here I had it that I am exercising restraint because I am not dropping acid a few times a month.......Like I would like to be doing but dont figure I want to mess with that being on several big pharma drugs, plus a bunch of supplements.

I have worked hard this life, with an almost solid record of success....having fun now is non negotiable.
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Being bankrupt, drunk, stoned, unemployed and living off somebody elses hard work at the age of 54 is "an almost solid record of success"????

That's how you define success? I must be a stone-cold flippin' epic-hero if what you currently have is "success".
 
Hawkeye10 said:
I am a truth teller/truth seeker with very little ego to bruise. I usually explain this by telling people that I have been Zen since 1985 but the truth is I have always been a weirdo. At some point I got to be old enough that I decided trying to hide what I am is a waste of good time and energy.

I am real, I assume that others are real unless I have a decent reason to think not, and let the chips fall where they may.....this is how I live my life now. It is not that hard, at least around here I care a lot more about the ideas than I do the people behind the keyboards speaking them, since I cant really know what my wife calls my imaginary friends anyways.

You got this call wrong, better luck next time.
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LOL..what ever you say man.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
Me: retired/54/smoke weed every day/drink every day/Zen Socialist/love arguing walking the dog visiting and generally ****ing around.

He: ROTC/22/Senior/has wanted active duty Army since he was 9/very conservative/is working his ass off

Plus he is still pissed that we could not make the restaurant empire work, and are now bankrupt.

IDK, seems pretty hopeless at the moment, maybe at around age 30 we can connect.......

Anyone been there.......almost college grad who is doing great but disapproves of his parents choices/lifestyle?

Is there any hope?

Thanks so much.
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Thank your lucky stars. Just think, when he has kids he'll be a responsible parent.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
Me: retired/54/smoke weed every day/drink every day/Zen Socialist/love arguing walking the dog visiting and generally ****ing around.

He: ROTC/22/Senior/has wanted active duty Army since he was 9/very conservative/is working his ass off

Plus he is still pissed that we could not make the restaurant empire work, and are now bankrupt.

IDK, seems pretty hopeless at the moment, maybe at around age 30 we can connect.......

Anyone been there.......almost college grad who is doing great but disapproves of his parents choices/lifestyle?

Is there any hope?

Thanks so much.
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That's not so unusual. Your dope smoking probably didn't connect with your parents' working their ass off lifestyle. ;)
 
Hawkeye10 said:
Me: retired/54/smoke weed every day/drink every day/Zen Socialist/love arguing walking the dog visiting and generally ****ing around.

He: ROTC/22/Senior/has wanted active duty Army since he was 9/very conservative/is working his ass off

Plus he is still pissed that we could not make the restaurant empire work, and are now bankrupt.

IDK, seems pretty hopeless at the moment, maybe at around age 30 we can connect.......

Anyone been there.......almost college grad who is doing great but disapproves of his parents choices/lifestyle?

Is there any hope?

Thanks so much.
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My father retired off the uss inchon in the navy, but we actually get along, he smokes weed, I used to before joining the army, might have maybe possibly started again after the army. We both drink, and both of use are complete assholes in real life, who hold america as awesome, and morality as supreme, unless weed and liquor are included, then we would both tell you to take your morality elsewhere.
 
beerftw said:
My father retired off the uss inchon in the navy, but we actually get along, he smokes weed, I used to before joining the army, might have maybe possibly started again after the army. We both drink, and both of use are complete assholes in real life, who hold america as awesome, and morality as supreme, unless weed and liquor are included, then we would both tell you to take your morality elsewhere.
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Needed a few more breadcrumbs at the end....maybe my brain is not in the right gear, I have had a strange day.

Could you help me out please?

Thanks
 
Hawkeye10 said:
Me: retired/54/smoke weed every day/drink every day/Zen Socialist/love arguing walking the dog visiting and generally ****ing around.

He: ROTC/22/Senior/has wanted active duty Army since he was 9/very conservative/is working his ass off

Plus he is still pissed that we could not make the restaurant empire work, and are now bankrupt.

IDK, seems pretty hopeless at the moment, maybe at around age 30 we can connect.......

Anyone been there.......almost college grad who is doing great but disapproves of his parents choices/lifestyle?

Is there any hope?

Thanks so much.
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54, bankrupt, and retired. That makes no sense. Are you counting on your son supporting you or are you shooting for me to support you? You mean your gluten-free, peanut-free, Vegan all-tofu restaurant didn't work?
 
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Hawkeye10 said:
Me: retired/54/smoke weed every day/drink every day/Zen Socialist/love arguing walking the dog visiting and generally ****ing around.

He: ROTC/22/Senior/has wanted active duty Army since he was 9/very conservative/is working his ass off

Plus he is still pissed that we could not make the restaurant empire work, and are now bankrupt.

IDK, seems pretty hopeless at the moment, maybe at around age 30 we can connect.......

Anyone been there.......almost college grad who is doing great but disapproves of his parents choices/lifestyle?

Is there any hope?

Thanks so much.
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My biggest question is this: What are you hoping for and what's your motivation?
 
CycloneWanderer said:
My biggest question is this: What are you hoping for and what's your motivation?
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A) To spend time more time with him

B) To better know the man my son has become

c) For him to no longer believe that I have wasted my life
 
Patrickt said:
54, bankrupt, and retired. That makes no sense. Are you counting on your son supporting you or are you shooting for me to support you? You mean your gluten-free, peanut-free, Vegan all-tofu restaurant didn't work?
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When it comes to what humans do "makes no sense" is a major theme, jsyk.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
When it comes to what humans do "makes no sense" is a major theme, jsyk.
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You missed the point. My question was, who buys your food, pays for your dope, pays your rent? If you're 54, bankrupt, and retired--unemployed--who is feeding you and putting a roof over your head and buy your dope to smoke?
 
Patrickt said:
You missed the point. My question was, who buys your food, pays for your dope, pays your rent? If you're 54, bankrupt, and retired--unemployed--who is feeding you and putting a roof over your head and buy your dope to smoke?
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We are in chapter 11, so we have funds for basic life needs. Actually we paid for a good lawyer, so we do better than that. My wife has always made most of the money, she is a genius and a workaholic, she had the military career while I raised the kids and had jobs when time allowed. THis was our deal before we got married in 1986. Trying to start a regional restaurant chain was as much her project as mine, which is the reason for the bankruptcy. Any money I made now would go to the creditors, so clearly me working makes no sense.

THis has nothing to do with the thread topic of course, but I am an open book, so long as people are civil I will likely answer questions.
 
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BTW, weed prices are plummeting, I just saw 16% THC for $7 a gram.

GOD, I love my life.

And my wife.

She OKed it.

Seriously.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
A) To spend time more time with him

B) To better know the man my son has become

c) For him to no longer believe that I have wasted my life
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My perception from your list is that you are searching for meaning in your own life and using your son as a tool. I can understand the value you placed on raising your son and it appears that your son is successful so you deserve to feel good about that. It's understandable that you derive your value from his success since you did the majority of the work in raising him. That's sure to have involved a lot of time, effort, and sacrifice. However, he's growing up and needs you less. Or, at least, he needs you in a different way. Combine that with the struggles you've had in launching your business, and I see a person struggling to find their own significance. If you want my opinion, I think the best thing you can do right now is focus on you. Find a way to provide value to your wife and your community. That could be through employment or that could be through volunteering. Doing so may require a sacrifice of time, pleasures, and comforts that you currently value. While that may be difficult, I believe you would benefit greatly from finding value for yourself separate from your role as a father. If you make sure that what you end up doing doesn't go against the personal values of your son, it will probably help you connect with him in a new way as well.

In the end, this is only my opinion. Feel free to disregard it if you desire. In any case, I hope you find what you are looking for.
 
Boy called on the 4th, said that ROTC school is a complete cluster**** waste of time. Also says that his peer group mostly cant make a decision on their own to save their lives, they having always been fully managed, nobody giving a **** about raising happy capable adults. My boy is appalled.

Says he now sees a method to my parenting madness, so glad he is not one of them, because he was raised different.

"THANKS POPS"

:2dance:
 
Hawkeye10 said:
Boy called on the 4th, said that ROTC school is a complete cluster**** waste of time. Also says that his peer group mostly cant make a decision on their own to save their lives, they having always been fully managed, nobody giving a **** about raising happy capable adults. My boy is appalled.

Says he now sees a method to my parenting madness, so glad he is not one of them, because he was raised different.

"THANKS POPS"

:2dance:
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Your story reminds me of Family Ties....the hippy liberal parents with the conservative young republican son.

Years ago, I knew a long hair, pot smoking, hippy couple whose six year old son wanted to dress in a suit and tie everyday...like the 'six million dollar man'. His parents said it was fine...on one condition...that he keep his suit clean and his hair combed. They just let him be himself. He grew up to be a very conservative and successful business man.

It sounds like you did a great job raising your kids and have nothing to be ashamed of, Hawkeye. If your kids grow up to be independent, can support themselves, make good choices and not addicted to drugs.... consider yourself a good parent.
 
Hawkeye10 said:
Me: retired/54/smoke weed every day/drink every day/Zen Socialist/love arguing walking the dog visiting and generally ****ing around.

He: ROTC/22/Senior/has wanted active duty Army since he was 9/very conservative/is working his ass off

Plus he is still pissed that we could not make the restaurant empire work, and are now bankrupt.

IDK, seems pretty hopeless at the moment, maybe at around age 30 we can connect.......

Anyone been there.......almost college grad who is doing great but disapproves of his parents choices/lifestyle?

Is there any hope?

Thanks so much.
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Well looks like he's got a strong future ahead of him.

You two connecting? Sometimes things just don't happen. I wonder how much of your lifestyle choices influenced him in this direction (random musing).
 
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