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Why are some suicidal-minded people OBSESSED with the concept of suicide?

Aunt Spiker said:
Interesting points brought up - the ones about 'because you let him talk about it' - I don't have control over other people. I can ask not to discuss it, avoid the topic, not engage the conversation. Obsessive compulsive conversational topics and thoughts aren't within the control of another individual. Even if we are around each other and he's not talking about it - that doesn't mean he's not THINKING about it - and that's what I was considering when I wrote the OP.

If I'm hearing a sliver of what's going on in his head - then how much more often does he THINK about it?

And why?

And is it a concern? (and if it is - to whom do I say anything. Not like I can stroll to his Dr's office, if he has one, and say something).
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Actually you can, if you know who his doctor is.
 
best way that i can describe it is like having malware in your brain that requires a lot of energy and computational power to deal with. i dealt with it as a teenager. it was probably OCD / severe depression related, which can also be some pretty destructive malware. you have to just make yourself the promise that you'll never do it, and if the thoughts continue, get help, or tell them to **** off. ideally, both. however, sometimes the therapy expense is pretty hard to float, and it can be difficult to find a really good one. they are out there, though.
 
There are all types, I guess. I was very suicidal for a few years in my Army days. I put together a kit that contained a gun and valium and had it ready for when I just couldn't take it anymore. The only thing that kept me from doing it, just barely, were my kids.

Up until this very moment in this thread I have never told anyone about it for several reasons. First, I didn't want their pitty. Second, I didn't want them to try and stop me if I did decide to go through with it. Third, I was very careful not to give off the typical "warning signs" because if I decided to go through with it I didn't want to leave them feeling guilty about missing or ignoring those signs. I was seeing a military psychiatrist at the time and even with her I mimimized the situation. I did mention that at times I wished I was dead but I never confessed that I would be willing to do it myself or that I had put a plan in place. Once again, I was afraid she would stop me. Nobody other than my shrink ever even knew that I was on anti-depressants.

I guess my point is that there are probably suicidal people in your life that you don't even know about. They are fighting their battle alone because that is the way they want it. I think people who do talk about it with their friends and family are either looking for help or are just looking for attention. We all know the type who likes to complain about every little problem they are having in order to garner sympathy. Some people thrive on that. But assuming it is that instead of a plea for help can be risky. I am not saying that is the case here as I know nothing about the person.
 
justabubba said:
but he appears to be comfortable discussing it ONLY with Aunt Spiker
how chronic is it if he is able to avoid this discussion with all others
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He's chosen HER to talk to about it. The reasons I identified apply to her for whatever reason has influenced his choice.


this is what caused me to focus on the uniqueness of his willingness to discuss suicide with Aunt Spiker and no one else. he is different with others - at least regarding discussing the topic of suicide
don't know whether he interacts with others while displaying depressed behavior, or if he is able or attempting to conceal that depression from others


seems he has a different set of behaviors with Aunt Spiker than he does with others
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For whatever reason he has chosen her.
 
Aunt Spiker said:
A certain someone in my life attempted to commit suicide by slitting his wrists. He was nearly successful. I recently learned that was 20 some odd years ago.

Yet when I first met him (going on 13 years now) the subject of suicide was one of the first things he brought up as a conversation. ("What do you think of people who commit suicide?"). The entire time I've known him the subject of suicide (suicide in music, art, books, movies, tv shows, discussion, news stories being discussed, comments made) have been a CONSTANT. 13 years and this person still discusses it.

YET - this individual ONLY seems to talk to me about it so extensively . . . no one else gets a continual earful of 'suicide this - suicide that - life is hard - you don't understand how hard it is' type talk.



For me, personally - the fact that this individual obsesses over it so extensively makes me feel this: Some people think it's COOL to be depressed and suicidal. They think that having emotional or psychological issues puts them in the 'neat club' with all the cool 'badass kids' and it's something to brag about and be proud of.

An unintentional consequence of this individual's constant 'let's talk about it' isn't 'gaining my sympathy or understanding' - this person's constant obsession with it has made the very topic one that irritates me. I might have had the capacity to feel for suicidal individuals in the past - but after 13 years of constant, compulsive dwelling on it, I've now arrived at a point where I really have no concern for this person in that regard. The topic doesn't interest me. The threat that anyone might make doesn't inspire me to take action and 'show I care by intervening' (have had such incidences - sad to say - I'm not at all 'concerned individual' about it).



I don't understand: Why the obsession?

I know that some people aren't so obsessed with it. Others have tried it (in my life, I mean) and never talk about it. Others have had the urge but don't dwell on it extensively. So why, do you suppose, that some individuals are just so thoroughly immersed in it that they can't seem to really talk about anything else?
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Since they are suicidal. Is this really the question? If you are suicide you think about suicide, so of course you are going to be curious and interested in things which reflect it. Its not that odd really.

Why do people who love japan like anime? Gee, I wonder why.
 
He sounds like a douchebag. I had a roommate like that a while back, "former" junkie who was obsessed with suicide, and Kurt Cobain. Even had a poster of a Porsche on his wall that he bragged about, saying that was the same car James Dean died in. I got sick of his crap one day after a night of drinking and trying to have a good time despite his constant bitching, so I finally told him something to the effect of if he was so obsessed with dying, he should toss himself into the Gulf and have his body bashed against the rocks. To this day, he blames me for his "relapse", even though that idiot was still shooting up before I even met him.

Moral of the story, cut him out of your life if you can. People like that only want to drag you down with them.
 
I'm obsessed with suicide. It's never far from my thoughts. But I don't bother other people about it.
 
My best friend in High School liked to talk about death. In hindsight, some of the things he said to me could have been red flags, but he was a rugged outdoors-man. We used to hunt, fish, trap, and backpack for our after school and weekend hobbies. He had a great sense of humor and was always upbeat.

After graduation, I went to chase rock 'n roll stardom, while he married his HS sweetheart, got a factory job, and had three sons. I got to see him every once in a while.

We were so close that when he died, my Mother told me that he got sick and died. I guess she was afraid that I might want to go join up with him. Well, about five years later I got a call from another young buddy that was a mutual friend of ours. So I asked him "what did our buddy die from?" "He blew his brains out in the living room with a 44 magnum."

Oh. (I've tried to forgive my Mum for her tactics, but it's always stuck in my craw).

So then I think back. The weirdest one was when he was fighting with his then girlfriend. I told him to just break it off with her. He said "I can't do that or she will kill herself."

I couldn't convince him otherwise.

Dead at age 22. (RIP)
 
Actually when suicidal people are bringing it up in conversation, it is not really an obsession, but testing the waters and the tolerances of the people around then, and often a cry for help.

You see, suicide is a topic that upsets a lot of people in American society because they can't bear to face it.

So often times suicides will be trashed and bashed for merely bringing the subject up.

If you're really concerned, look for the signs, and be there for your friend.

But another aspect too they very wrapped up in things and can't see any solutions to their given situation, adn this only drives their focus.
 
suicide is a valid option for an adult who wants to end their life. i don't see why anyone would be obsessed over it, though, it's not really something you can obsess over anyway since it's a one time thing.
 
I really don't understand this mentality that we must live, no matter what. Even if we're in abject pain and stuck in a bed all day. Even if we are absolutely unable to be a productive member of society and do absolutely nothing with our lives.

You see, I don't think it would be irrational to consider that if we have the right to live, why wouldn't we have the right to die?
 
Football, sex, their appearance, the appearance of others, their weight, their career, shoes, clothing, cars, you name it, it's an obsession by someone.

People obsess over all sorts of things, I don't see why death or suicide would be any different.
 
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