A few decades ago I had become an Episcopalian. At the time I enjoyed high church. It was during high church at the cathedral that I felt something. That was as far as it went. But I liked the Dean and the fact that the church was more work than talk in the community.
It was during this time that I was in graduate school. I spent most of my waking hours at the university, especially weekends. I loved it, to be honest. There were times I really needed a break, but I loved the work and the study.
One Sunday, my head crammed full, I need a break from studying for two tests. I left my study carrel locked the door and walked to a nearby pond and just sat there. My brain was so overloaded I couldn't think. There was no one around. No distractions. I've gone over the scenario hundreds of times.
As I sat there not thinking about anything, nothing, no thoughts at all, I saw fish swimming near the edge of the pond, there were a few ducks swimming and cat tails blowing in a light breeze. Suddenly BAM! I knew that there was no separation between the pond, the fish, the breeze, the ducks, the cat tails or me. None. I was one with everything. It was not an understanding. The experience transcended understanding. It was knowing. There is no real way to convey the experience. Pure love, absolute peace, total joy don't come close to what happened.
It was perhaps another 10 or 12 years before I knew anything about Buddhism. There is a Japanese Buddhist term "kenshō" that describes the experience as a brief glimpse of enlightenment. Have I been able to return to kenshō since? No. But I have been there once and I cannot forget the experience. I know it exists.
