Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -[W:198]

Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

tessaesque said:

Divorce is in the bible too, but we don't go around demanding laws be made to ban it, or calling people who get divorces abominations.

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I've never heard anyone calling gays, abomination. I supported divorce at that time (because it sounded so "practical")....but that was then, when I was foolish, and lost. Little did I know that it will eventually lead to
no-fault divorce. Look what happened to the family - a lot of broken marriage now (needless to say the children who suffer because of it).

Religion-aside, whenever we introduce and legalize something, it usually morph into something more. It's like opening a can of worms. Just look at abortion, how it evolved. Now they're even proposing to legalize killing two-weeks old babies - that they should be regarded the same way as the fetus.

We don't do any more thorough studies before we change or pass anything (how it will impact us in the long run).

Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

tosca1 said:

I've never heard anyone calling gays, abomination. I supported divorce at that time (because it sounded so "practical")....but that was then, when I was foolish, and lost. Little did I know that it will eventually lead to
no-fault divorce. Look what happened to the family - a lot of broken marriage now (needless to say the children who suffer because of it).

Religion-aside, whenever we introduce and legalize something, it usually morph into something more. It's like opening a can of worms. Just look at abortion, how it evolved. Now they're even proposing to legalize killing two-weeks old babies - that they should be regarded the same way as the fetus.

We don't do any more thorough studies before we change or pass anything (how it will impact us in the long run).

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Who's "proposing to legalize killing two-weeks old babies"?

Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

calamity said:

Who's "proposing to legalize killing two-weeks old babies"?

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I've given an article somewhere in the abortion section. This might be it, not sure....it's been a while.

After-Birth Abortion: The pro-choice case for infanticide.
After-Birth Abortion: The pro-choice case for infanticide.




If you're interested, here are some threads from abortion section:

http://www.debatepolitics.com/sex-a...-approve-after-birth-abortion-up-age-5-a.html

http://www.debatepolitics.com/abortion/209495-dysfunctional-minds-prop-pro-choice.html

Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

I've said awful things to Nota Bene before all readers of this thread, therefore it is only fitting that I also issue a heartfelt apology to her before everyone.

I'm so sorry, Nota Bene for all the hurtful things I've said.

I should've reacted in a positive, and constructive manner.

Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

I really do not understand the idea behind blaming Gay people for their sexual orientation. I'm reasonably sure most would prefer to be straight if they could "choose."

Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

I'm sure that she will forgive you. Political and religious discussion are known for inspiring impolite behavior. Many people live by the mantra that you should never discuss politics or religion. The interesting part about that is that those people aren't using this website. :lamo

We forgive you tosca1. Take a breather if that is what you need. When we have strong opinions about certain subjects then our emotions can get the best of us. You are certainly ok in my book.

I can't accept the apology on behalf of Nota Bene but I will say if your apology is to me then apology accepted.

tosca1 said:

I've said awful things to Nota Bene before all readers of this thread, therefore it is only fitting that I also issue a heartfelt apology to her before everyone.

I'm so sorry, Nota Bene for all the hurtful things I've said.

I should've reacted in a positive, and constructive manner.

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Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

tosca1 said:

Have you watched the video? Listened to the second letter?

How does one rear children in the ways of the Lord? I don't understand where you're coming from.

Anyway, what exactly is a "sincere" Christian?

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OMG that is hilarious given the topic

In my book a good Christian accepts people for what they are, especially when its something that is not evil or harmful

Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

tosca1 said:

I've said awful things to Nota Bene before all readers of this thread, therefore it is only fitting that I also issue a heartfelt apology to her before everyone.

I'm so sorry, Nota Bene for all the hurtful things I've said.

I should've reacted in a positive, and constructive manner.

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Thank you, Tosca.

Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

tosca1 said:

It's a well-said two cents.

I cringe at the idea of refusing communion or denying fellowship to someone at the behest of the congregation - unless he/she is undeniably flaunting his/her sinful behaviour.

In the end, it's between us and God.

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Well, I am glad I got a chance to contribute something. It's one thing to talk about these things in the abstract when there's nothing at stake, but when you have to deal with flesh and blood people who are as human as you are it changes the game a little.

Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

it's just me said:

Well, I am glad I got a chance to contribute something. It's one thing to talk about these things in the abstract when there's nothing at stake, but when you have to deal with flesh and blood people who are as human as you are it changes the game a little.

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That's true. The scenario between a parent and a child may be abstract to me since I'm childless, however I could be possibly placed in that situation as we're now foster parents. Would it be different to that of a real parent and a foster parent if a child comes to you, and says he's gay?


I want to be able to say the right words - without compromising my religious belief. I've been upfront with the caseworkers (knowing that we live in this kind of society).




It's easy to say "just remember to love"....that's all well and good to remember but when suddenly dealing with a bombshell of any kind (like unwanted pregnancy or an affair with a much older married person), how many parents in real life had spoken in anger (though that doesn't mean there isn't love anymore)?


The first confrontation and the first words out of the mouth are usually what would set the "battleground".....

.......some don't get second chances (child storms out of your life (and God), and is lost forever, or a few commit suicides).


If both sides will keep in mind the word, respect. The gay son should respect the parents' desire to adhere to their faith, and the parents should state their views with respect for their son. Not all people agree with one another - but if there is respect (and in this case, an emphasis on love)....the door remains open.


The letter made it so that the words are no longer abstract in my mind.

The topic is painful because it involves a group of people (homosexuals). But it is reality that some of us face,
or could face.

Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

tosca1 said:

That's true. The scenario between a parent and a child may be abstract to me since I'm childless, however I could be possibly placed in that situation as we're now foster parents. Would it be different to that of a real parent and a foster parent if a child comes to you, and says he's gay?


I want to be able to say the right words - without compromising my religious belief. I've been upfront with the caseworkers (knowing that we live in this kind of society).




It's easy to say "just remember to love"....that's all well and good to remember but when suddenly dealing with a bombshell of any kind (like unwanted pregnancy or an affair with a much older married person), how many parents in real life had spoken in anger (though that doesn't mean there isn't love anymore)?


The first confrontation and the first words out of the mouth are usually what would set the "battleground".....

.......some don't get second chances (child storms out of your life (and God), and is lost forever, or a few commit suicides).


If both sides will keep in mind the word, respect. The gay son should respect the parents' desire to adhere to their faith, and the parents should state their views with respect for their son. Not all people agree with one another - but if there is respect (and in this case, an emphasis on love)....the door remains open.


The letter made it so that the words are no longer abstract in my mind.

The topic is painful because it involves a group of people (homosexuals). But it is reality that some of us face,
or could face.

Click to expand...

Just be yourself, you'll know what to do if the time ever comes. Mrs. It's Just Me handled it with her usual aplomb, as she has done in just about every situation like this one. What it really comes down to is the relationship between one human being and another, you and your foster child, if it comes to that, to hell with what anybody else thinks and screw the group politics jazz. I came to my position not because of any outside pressure but because I think it's ultimately the right thing to do. You'll be fine. Relax. Enjoy.

Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

I forgot to mention that you are doing the Lord's work taking in fosters, you will have His anointing on you.

Re: Two Letters To Two Gay Sons -

it's just me said:

I forgot to mention that you are doing the Lord's work taking in fosters, you will have His anointing on you.

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This might be where God has been guiding me, for this role.

I've always been involved with childcare even while I was in university. After such a long time doing it, I decided to do something else.
I worked at different places which included retirement homes.
I was away from children for five years when out of petty reasons, I suddenly quit my fulltime job at a retirement home. Even I, was surprised, by my stupid action. My co-worker (a Jehovah's W.) was concerned for me and asked what I'm going to do now that I'm out of a job. I said, that it's now up to God. That very same day, I got a call and an offer of a fulltime job as a nanny. It came out from out of the blue. I turned it down at first since it's been five years since I've taken care of children, but met with them (upon the advise of my husband, to listen to what they have to offer). That's how I got back to this line of work.

Our experience with children helped a lot, the caseworker said. The fact too that we don't have any kids of our own made it less complicated to take in fosters. Since we're new, they won't be giving us children with serious behavioral problems.

We may not be formally adopting kids (we're not exactly young, you know)....but any kids who have no where to go and would like to stay with us are welcome to do so for as long as they want.

In the past, my husband and I have always been talking about taking in foster, but we never really acted on it. So I'm thinking that this might be the reason why I ended up back with children. God probably let me experience working away from them - to experience other jobs - to get that out of my system.
And probably - I'm speculating - when He felt that that's enough "playing around," He pulled me back in.

tosca1 said:

This might be where God has been guiding me, for this role.

I've always been involved with childcare even while I was in university. After such a long time doing it, I decided to do something else.
I worked at different places which included retirement homes.
I was away from children for five years when out of petty reasons, I suddenly quit my fulltime job at a retirement home. Even I, was surprised, by my stupid action. My co-worker (a Jehovah's W.) was concerned for me and asked what I'm going to do now that I'm out of a job. I said, that it's now up to God. That very same day, I got a call and an offer of a fulltime job as a nanny. It came out from out of the blue. I turned it down at first since it's been five years since I've taken care of children, but met with them (upon the advise of my husband, to listen to what they have to offer). That's how I got back to this line of work.

Our experience with children helped a lot, the caseworker said. The fact too that we don't have any kids of our own made it less complicated to take in fosters. Since we're new, they won't be giving us children with serious behavioral problems.

We may not be formally adopting kids (we're not exactly young, you know)....but any kids who have no where to go and would like to stay with us are welcome to do so for as long as they want.

In the past, my husband and I have always been talking about taking in foster, but we never really acted on it. So I'm thinking that this might be the reason why I ended up back with children. God probably let me experience working away from them - to experience other jobs - to get that out of my system.
And probably - I'm speculating - when He felt that that's enough "playing around," He pulled me back in.

Click to expand...

It happens - I've gotten the old yank on the leash a couple of times myself. I commend you for your courage in taking something like this on and wish you all the best.