Heaven vs. Hellheim

I got this from a friend in a medieval group this weekend and I thought some people here might find it an interesting take on one spiritual movement's visions of Heaven and Hell....



Enjoy.

That was hilarious. :lol:

The Christian heaven always did sound really boring to me. I'm not sure I'd want to go to an axe-weilder's haven either, but at least you'd have something to break up the days.

SmokeAndMirrors said:

That was hilarious. :lol:

The Christian heaven always did sound really boring to me. I'm not sure I'd want to go to an axe-weilder's haven either, but at least you'd have something to break up the days.

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I enjoyed it as well. I'm up for Valhallah, though I can understand why most women wouldn't want to be there. The only way for a woman to get in is as a Valkyrie (Obin's Choosers of the Dead, and the serving-wenches of Valhallah).

Tigger said:

I enjoyed it as well. I'm up for Valhallah, though I can understand why most women wouldn't want to be there. The only way for a woman to get in is as a Valkyrie (Obin's Choosers of the Dead, and the serving-wenches of Valhallah).

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I don't know, I know lots of non-axe-weilding men as well. There are other things to do in life besides stab things, and plenty of men who don't derive their concept of their manhood from stabbing things. And I can't honestly think of one who would want to spend eternity stabbing things. But then again, I probably keep different company than you do.

Gee, spending eternity as a waitress, sounds fun.

SmokeAndMirrors said:

I don't know, I know lots of non-axe-weilding men as well. There are other things to do in life besides stab things, and plenty of men who don't derive their concept of their manhood from stabbing things. And I can't honestly think of one who would want to spend eternity stabbing things. But then again, I probably keep different company than you do.

Gee, spending eternity as a waitress, sounds fun.

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The society in Valhallah is based on three "F's"...... Fighting, Feasting and F***ing. These three activities keep the residents entertained until the start of Ragnarok, when they will become the Army of the Gods in the battle against the Frost Giants at the end of the world.

Tigger said:

The society in Valhallah is based on three "F's"...... Fighting, Feasting and F***ing. These three activities keep the residents entertained until the start of Ragnarok, when they will become the Army of the Gods in the battle against the Frost Giants at the end of the world.

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Well, ok then. I'll be honest, I don't think I've ever heard an afterlife concept that appealed to me. Religions have the weirdest ideas of what qualifies as a "reward."

My favorite part of the whole thing is the "Wheel of Heavens" then they put the cross on the grave and the gate goes from leading to Valhallah to Heaven. That was just perfect so far as I'm concerned.

Tigger said:

My favorite part of the whole thing is the "Wheel of Heavens" then they put the cross on the grave and the gate goes from leading to Valhallah to Heaven. That was just perfect so far as I'm concerned.

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From the cockles of my atheist heart, I agree. I laughed out loud at that part.

Tigger said:

I enjoyed it as well. I'm up for Valhallah, though I can understand why most women wouldn't want to be there. The only way for a woman to get in is as a Valkyrie (Obin's Choosers of the Dead, and the serving-wenches of Valhallah).

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Not entirely accurate. The Valkyries were divine in nature, (some sources say they are the daughters of Odin, some don't say at all) and collected slain warriors, as well as deciding the outcomes of battle. Many of the goddesses in Scandinavian lore were not just the wives of gods, but warriors themselves. Anyone who died fighting joined the ranks of the Einherjar, regardless of gender, race, nationality (I guess tribal affiliation in those times) etc. Warrior women were just as prized by the Scandinavians, as many existed in real life, and in lore. Valhalla was also not it's own plane of existence, as Heaven is supposed to be. It's a large and very ornate dining hall in Asgard. The reason that Odin has warriors selected for the role of the Einherjar is because of the prophesy of Voluspa, who tells of the Ragnarok.

Asatru is a very interesting religion, and a lot of my beliefs are from old Scandinavian traditions (I'm mostly Swedish and Norwegian, so go figure). I also strongly believe that the concept of Hell was derived from a combination of Nifelheim and Muspelheim. Nifelheim is the realm of the dead, and it's more like purgatory in concept, as it's a frozen tundra. There isn't **** to do. Muspelheim is simply a realm of eternal fire, but it's not where anyone goes, it's just a big ass volcanic pit of magma where the only inhabitants are the Sons of Muspel, and Surtr, who is the being prophesied to incinerate all of existence. However, after Ragnarok, a new Earth is born, and Nifelheim goes from being a purgatory, to being a realm of eternal punishment for adulterers, murderers, liars, and oath breakers.

SmokeAndMirrors said:

I don't know, I know lots of non-axe-weilding men as well. There are other things to do in life besides stab things, and plenty of men who don't derive their concept of their manhood from stabbing things. And I can't honestly think of one who would want to spend eternity stabbing things. But then again, I probably keep different company than you do.

Gee, spending eternity as a waitress, sounds fun.

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Not all of them did. Vikings were actually pretty peaceful for the most part. Nobody ever hears of the guys that just peacefully immigrated from place to place. Most of the ancient Scandinavians were actually farmers and fishermen.

Moral of the story - never save old ladies from a burning building.

Interpret as you wish.

Daktoria said:

Moral of the story - never save old ladies from a burning building.

Interpret as you wish.

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Nah - Moral of the Story: Stay with your own kind and be very distrustful of outsiders.

Eh...

...the Viking missionaries arrived after the Viking raids dispatched, not before.

If the Vikings didn't attack in the first place, they wouldn't have been converted to Christianity.

Daktoria said:

Eh... ...the Viking missionaries arrived after the Viking raids dispatched, not before. If the Vikings didn't attack in the first place, they wouldn't have been converted to Christianity.

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With the nature of the Church at that time, I doubt it, but the Vikings really ****ed up by attacking the churches. The Pope didn't take kindly to it at all.

What nature are you talking about?

Daktoria said:

What nature are you talking about?

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Vikings existed during the times of the Crusades and the Inquisition. King Olaf I of Norway, for example, forced conversion to Christianity under pain of torture or death, while similar attitudes spread throughout the region.

Lokiate said:

Vikings existed during the times of the Crusades and the Inquisition. King Olaf I of Norway, for example, forced conversion to Christianity under pain of torture or death, while similar attitudes spread throughout the region.

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No. Actually the decline of the Viking era occurs just before 1000 A.D. with it's final end at the battle of Stamford Bridge in England in 1066. The Crusades will not be undertaken for another Century and the Inquisition is several hundred years in the future at that point.

King Olaf does force the conversion to Christianity in Norway, but even before that there were forays into the Scandanavian world by the Catholic Church in an attempt to convert the "heathens". The Norse had plenty of contact with Christianity in the British Isles and continental Europe prior to that point; but it wasn't generally terribly friendly contact.

SmokeAndMirrors said:

I don't know, I know lots of non-axe-weilding men as well. There are other things to do in life besides stab things, and plenty of men who don't derive their concept of their manhood from stabbing things. And I can't honestly think of one who would want to spend eternity stabbing things. But then again, I probably keep different company than you do.

Gee, spending eternity as a waitress, sounds fun.

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Clearly you don't understand men...presuming you use 'stabbing' as an euphemism.