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Do you need to belong?

Do you need to belong to a group to feel a sense of identity?


  • Total voters
    23
Do you need to belong to a group to feel a sense of identity? Anything from a local church group to being a part of one's country or culture. This has nothing to do with me personally, I am just curious to see the results.





(in fact, I tend to dislike identity based groups rather strongly because I have yet to find one that I agree with completely)

I have a need to belong that is so great I actually looked at the poll results before I voted.

:2razz:
 
I think everybody is the sum of more than just one thing. It's the whole "are you a gay man, or a man who happens to be gay?". And you can substitute any group in there. I tend to believe we are all the latter, meaning we are people who happen to be "x". Some people just put more value on a certain aspect of their lives and let it define them like the former part of my example.

I'm just a man who happens.
 
I wouldn't join any group that would have me for a member.


I guess that makes me a Marxist.
 
I have a need to belong that is so great I actually looked at the poll results before I voted.

:2razz:

Well that's a good point. Only two of us actually chose the least popular poll choice, showing that we're more individuals then all y'all. LOL
 
Everyone builds their identity in relationship to the groups around them, it’s impossible to do otherwise. Nations, states, cities, schools, social cliques, sports teams, groups based around hobbies and interests, etc.…You establish who and what you are by which of those groups you support or oppose (however fanatically or apathetically). You can no more be free of all groups’ influence than you can be free of the gravity of the sun and the moon.

Not hanging your identity on an association with any particular group (family, religion, political parties, sports teams, academic groups, whatever) let’s your self-esteem fall down the stairs without any hand-holds to catch on the way down. People use their affiliation with groups to draw strength and bolster their self-image. When everything falls apart around you, what are the cornerstones you use to rebuild your life? The values you’ve taken from the groups around you and woven into your identity.

Yeah, this can be taken to unhealthy extremes, just look at all the self-important hyper-partisans calcified into their views in defiance of logic and fact. But the other end of the spectrum is feeling an apathetic blah towards everything (yourself included!). Wouldn’t want to over-correct when trying to avoid their negative example, now would you?

Me? I’m ****ed up in the head with an Avoidant Personality Disorder. I avoid people (duh) out of anxiety and shyness, which naturally leads to weakened bonds of affiliation. Yes, I (like any other human) need to belong with others; not belonging is a mark of vulnerability and weakness.

This is an excellent post. Double thanks. You're absolutely right. The need to associate and identify with others, to form bonds, is in our genes.

If you know you're ****ed up in the head, Befuddled, you can't be that ****ed up in the head. I'm glad for that. ;)
 
Well that's a good point. Only two of us actually chose the least popular poll choice, showing that we're more individuals then all y'all. LOL

I lied. I actually didn't vote because I didn't want to belong to any group, not even an unpopular one. :2razz:
 
Do you need to belong to a group to feel a sense of identity? Anything from a local church group to being a part of one's country or culture. This has nothing to do with me personally, I am just curious to see the results.



(in fact, I tend to dislike identity based groups rather strongly because I have yet to find one that I agree with completely)

yes.....most people need to belong, whether they admit it or not. i LIKE belonging to my family. as for other "groups"......i don't NEED them. but i do enjoy some of them, particularly the sailing community, which is made up of people from all walks of life and all political stripes.
 
I lied. I actually didn't vote because I didn't want to belong to any group, not even an unpopular one. :2razz:

But I didn't vote either, so now we are both a part of a group.
 
Sure. Belonging feels great if not just comfortable.
 
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