View Poll Results: Is this overprotective and/or abusive?

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  • yes, it is

    9 81.82%
  • no, it isn't

    2 18.18%
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Thread: Would you classify this as overprotective and/or abusive?

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    Would you classify this as overprotective and/or abusive?

    This girl is an adult now, but her mother still treats her like she's 12 and under, abuses her, and is completely overprotective. She prevents her from socializing and integrating into society like a normal human being and wants to force her to stay at home with her mother all day long and probably lock her up.

    FACTS:
    -She's forcing her to be homeschooled against her will. And now that she's 18, she won't even let her go back and finish her senior year.
    -She's an adult and she won't let her buy her own cell phone with her own money.
    -She got mad when she found she has a Facebook, even though she's an adult and anyone 13 or older is allowed to create a Facebook.
    -She won't ever let her hang out with any of her friends.
    -She doesn't allow her to leave the house unless her mom accompanies her the entire time.

    So what do you think? Is her mother an overprotective and/or abusive bitch?

    I would say that it's abusive, since not all abuse is physical. I would definitely say that effectively locking a child, teenager, or adult up and preventing them from socializing with human beings as abuse.
    Last edited by Redress; 05-03-11 at 05:11 PM. Reason: User request.

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    Re: Would you classify this as being overprotective and/or child abuse?

    It's crazy controlling, but I don't think it qualifies as abuse. The mother has some screws loose, but nothing she is doing is causing emotional or physical harm to the daughter (unless information has been omitted).

    That said, I'll say this: If the girl is 18, she is a legal adult. Therefore, at this point, she is not being "forced" into doing anything. She can legally apply for an apartment, work full-time in every state, and get away from her mother if she chooses to do so. So maybe she needs to do it.
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    Re: Would you classify this as being overprotective and/or child abuse?

    I would say that she's 18, and can simply leave. If the mother refuses to let her... forcibly detaining here, the police should be involved.

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    Re: Would you classify this as being overprotective and/or child abuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by tessaesque View Post
    It's crazy controlling, but I don't think it qualifies as abuse. The mother has some screws loose, but nothing she is doing is causing emotional or physical harm to the daughter (unless information has been omitted).

    That said, I'll say this: If the girl is 18, she is a legal adult. Therefore, at this point, she is not being "forced" into doing anything. She can legally apply for an apartment, work full-time in every state, and get away from her mother if she chooses to do so. So maybe she needs to do it.
    Just because someone is 18, doesn't mean they can automatically get a job and save up a few thousand dollars, especially if someone lives in a household where you aren't allowed to leave under almost any circumstance. I imagine there is a certain level of fear that she has of her mother and until she overcomes that fear, her mother will always control her.

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    Re: Would you classify this as being overprotective and/or child abuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Whovian View Post
    I would say that she's 18, and can simply leave. If the mother refuses to let her... forcibly detaining here, the police should be involved.
    can you imagine her state of mind? she needs some help to get away.

    Originally Posted by johnny_rebson:

    These are the same liberals who forgot how Iraq attacked us on 9/11.


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    Re: Would you classify this as being overprotective and/or child abuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by liblady View Post
    can you imagine her state of mind? she needs some help to get away.
    Indeed. I have no idea what it's like to be emotionally/psychologically/socially abused, but if I was treated like the girl in the situation and locked up from age 12 or 13 or whatever age the abuse started, I can guarantee you that I would be an entirely different person and would probably lack any means or ability to be self-sufficient in life.

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    Re: Would you classify this as being overprotective and/or child abuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tyrannosaur View Post
    Just because someone is 18, doesn't mean they can automatically get a job and save up a few thousand dollars, especially if someone lives in a household where you aren't allowed to leave under almost any circumstance. I imagine there is a certain level of fear that she has of her mother and until she overcomes that fear, her mother will always control her.
    Her battle.

    My mother was an abusive, drug addicted witch who put me through hell. I had been guilt tripped and manipulated into thinking I was needed or she would die, so I stuck it out. I watched her sell herself for drugs, I watched her whore herself out for rent money, I saw her shoot up in front of me. I listened to her call me a slut and a whore and a worthless human being. I was abused.

    I left at 15. I stayed with whoever would keep me until my dad was able to pursue the legal avenues to take me out of the state (I lived in Michigan, he lived in Texas...any efforts by him to remove me from Michigan w/o legal authorization would have been kidnapping).

    If she's that miserable and she dislikes her situation then she needs to come up with a plan and an option and take action.
    "Hmmm...Can't decide if I want to watch "Four Houses" or give myself an Icy Hot pee hole enema..." - Blake Shelton


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    Re: Would you classify this as being overprotective and/or child abuse?

    Super-overprotective. I guess "abusive" is a matter of perpsective. Tess's description of her mom would certainly qualify as abusive in my eyes. If I were in the same situation, I would just get the hell out.
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    Bifurcating victory (e.g. winning militarily, losing politically) is a useful salve for defeated armies. The "stab in the back" narrative helped take the sting out of failure for German generals after WWI and their American counterparts after Vietnam.

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    Re: Would you classify this as being overprotective and/or child abuse?

    Quote Originally Posted by tessaesque View Post
    Her battle.

    My mother was an abusive, drug addicted witch who put me through hell. I had been guilt tripped and manipulated into thinking I was needed or she would die, so I stuck it out. I watched her sell herself for drugs, I watched her whore herself out for rent money, I saw her shoot up in front of me. I listened to her call me a slut and a whore and a worthless human being. I was abused.

    I left at 15. I stayed with whoever would keep me until my dad was able to pursue the legal avenues to take me out of the state (I lived in Michigan, he lived in Texas...any efforts by him to remove me from Michigan w/o legal authorization would have been kidnapping).

    If she's that miserable and she dislikes her situation then she needs to come up with a plan and an option and take action.
    wow........seems there is more to you than i guessed. my apologies.

    Originally Posted by johnny_rebson:

    These are the same liberals who forgot how Iraq attacked us on 9/11.


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    Re: Would you classify this as being overprotective and/or child abuse?

    I'd say that the owner of a home can restrict what the person does in the house. But they can't control someone elses' social life by preventing them from going outside or having a Facebook or going out with their friends.

    Anyway, after talking to the woman even more, she said she's going to try to sneak out and talk to her friend's parents, and see if they'll let her stay with them temporarily.
    Last edited by Tyrannosaur; 05-03-11 at 02:27 PM.

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