You're building nothing but a strawman Hautey. Never have I once suggested that the only reason they hate us is because of our way of life or because of our freedoms. But I do think its a portion of the whole, fuel for the fire if you will. Now, would that blaze ignite in as many people or as powerfully if we weren't acting within the Middle East? No, I don't think so. But that doesn't mean there is not hate for those things.
I think there is disdain, and yes hate, in the "radical" portions of Islam for the West's way of life. I think the West's action in the middle east help ferment a reality and a situation where that disdain and hate mixes with the hatred for the West's actions creating a hightened response.
I think if the West was not involved in the Middle East from the start we'd see significantly less of the issues with radical muslims that we have. I also think that if the West involved itself in the Middle East the same way but was more in line with their way of life that the trouble would be somewhat, less. I think our actions in the middle east are FAR more involved in their "hatred" for the West, but I think its absolutely ridiculous to suggest that the other part is absolutely positively not involved. That they "don't", even in part, hate the west and the U.S. for their lifestyle.
For your high school example, the geek in school might "Hate" the bully jock primarily because the jock beat the crap out of him one time and always picks on him. He also hates him because he treats women like crap, gets away with stuff in class constantly, and teases other kids as well. Those are all secondary issues and things that, if not for the first part, he'd probably not feel as strong about. But its not in a vacuum, and the first issue exasserbates the later making the hate legitimate in all cases even if the first issue is the "strongest" and the others are "secondary".