Can a man and a woman be JUST friends?

I work in a male-dominated field, and I have many platonic male friends. I think it's absurd to assume that people of different genders can't value each other as people beyond just being sexually interested.

Curious George said:

That's exactly what's happening and she's my girlfriend. We were together for a year when we were 17/18 and we've been together for three months or so now again (we're both 29). I don't believe she's cheating on me with her ex but I definitely feel like the contact they have is inappropriate and I've asked her to put a stop to it, but she refuses. She believes I'm just being jealous and that, if I trust her, I shouldn't have a problem with what she's doing.

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It sounds to me like she is falling back on the age old feminine wiles of semantics and guilt. She is overpowering you while leaving her options open. I think you have two choices. The strongest position is simply to say 'bye bye for now, call me when you decide what you want'. Its the working model of the old expression, "If you love something set it free. If it comes back it's yours. If it doesn't, it never was." In the meantime don't wait around.

Position #2 is to let her decide. Unfortunately, doing it that way hands over all power in the relationship to her. Even if she chooses you, you might not like what you eventually get. If you walk away but still just wait around you are still surrendering.

The relationship you want is a fair one, with power distributed in a way you are both comfortable with. If you don't get that, any long term relationship will be a power struggle. If she still has unfinished business from her old relationship it is better if she works it out with "him". You cannot work it out for her because you are not him.