Gay marriage is a made up term, kind of like Muslim Bar Mitzvah would be, which shows the terrible intrusion of government into our personal lives that special rights and benefits are tied to someone's marital status. If you redefine the religious institution of marriage, you are violating the first amendment. If you don't, you are violating the 14th amendment. The solution is to get the government out of the marriage business. Stop tying tax and social benefits to marriage status and let people have freedom of conscience to get married or not be married without government recognition.