So, there is a balance to be struck? It is ok to have some different standards as long as they are not too extreme? Is that a correct understanding of your stance?
What would you say to me as someone who does not have an us vs them instinct, except when it comes to my family and friends and only in dangerous circumstances? (I have no problem telling my friends when they are being idiots for example). My personal opinion here is that you are right, but some people feel that instinct much more strongly than others do for whatever reason.