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  • Yes, I expec the same in kind if I partake in aggressive behavior

    17 48.57%
  • No, I believe my gender excuses me from paying consequences

    15 42.86%
  • I don't like either of the above options - here is my answer

    1 2.86%
  • It depends on what aggressive behavior I am taking part in

    2 5.71%
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Thread: Women of DP - I ask you

  1. #51
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    Re: Women of DP - I ask you

    We have 27 women on DP?
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  2. #52
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    Re: Women of DP - I ask you

    Quote Originally Posted by TheGirlNextDoor View Post
    If you haul off and hit a person (female OR male) do you expect to be hit back?
    Research on domestic violence suggests that more often than not, women play as aggressive a role as men do. Women feel entitled to be physically aggressive towards men, but expect men to hold their punches.

    I call b.s. on that behavior. Domestic violence is domestic violence. IT doesn't matter what gender is doing the hitting. If you're hitting your romantic partner, there's a huge problem.

  3. #53
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    Re: Women of DP - I ask you

    Well, I would hope that if a woman attacks a man who says he would never hit her back, she would bust his teeth out. After all, he would deserve it for assuming that she was weak, fraile, and had no chance of doing any damage to her.

    It even tickles me more when the guy says, "I'd just turn around and walk away". Yeah, that's what you do - turn your back to a woman that pissed-off. Do that and see how well it works for you.

  4. #54
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    Re: Women of DP - I ask you

    Quote Originally Posted by RosieS View Post
    Ah, well. Never means never. Women never can develop the upper body strength of men.
    That's just false. Look up Becca Swanson. Very few men have the same upper body strength as she does.

    And even using your own source, there is an overlap of the bell curves. For what you are saying to be true, there could not be any overlap.
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  5. #55
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    Re: Women of DP - I ask you

    Quote Originally Posted by Catz Part Deux View Post
    Research on domestic violence suggests that more often than not, women play as aggressive a role as men do. Women feel entitled to be physically aggressive towards men, but expect men to hold their punches.
    It's also worthwhile to note that women tend to be more mentally and emotionally aggressive than physically aggressive. Unfortunately, the law is only capable of punishing the latter.

  6. #56
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    Re: Women of DP - I ask you

    Quote Originally Posted by Gipper View Post
    It even tickles me more when the guy says, "I'd just turn around and walk away". Yeah, that's what you do - turn your back to a woman that pissed-off. Do that and see how well it works for you.
    I did it. Read earlier example. It worked fine for me, but I may be a more intimidating individual than you.
    "Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it; no constitution, no law, no court can even do much to help it." - Judge Learned Hand

  7. #57
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    Re: Women of DP - I ask you

    She wasn't pissed off enough, unless you're impervious to a barstool across the back.

  8. #58
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    Re: Women of DP - I ask you

    Quote Originally Posted by Gipper View Post
    She wasn't pissed off enough, unless you're impervious to a barstool across the back.
    There were no weapons in the area. I practice situational awareness.
    "Liberty lies in the hearts of men and women; when it dies there, no constitution, no law, no court can save it; no constitution, no law, no court can even do much to help it." - Judge Learned Hand

  9. #59
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    Re: Women of DP - I ask you

    Quote Originally Posted by Catz Part Deux View Post
    Research on domestic violence suggests that more often than not, women play as aggressive a role as men do. Women feel entitled to be physically aggressive towards men, but expect men to hold their punches.

    I call b.s. on that behavior. Domestic violence is domestic violence. IT doesn't matter what gender is doing the hitting. If you're hitting your romantic partner, there's a huge problem.

    Thanks for posting that.

    I've been saying this for some time, that it had been my experience that many cases when a man is charged with CDV, it was a reaction to having been screamed at for half an hour then hit repeatedly by the woman. (Many... not all. I'd say at least 1/3rd).

    It has more impact and is taken more seriously when a woman says it though, for obvious reasons.

    Ever seen the bumper sticker: "Real men don't hit women?"

    I tend to agree, at least as far as the implication "real men don't initiate violence against women under normal circumstances."

    I would add a caveat, that ought to be on that same bumper sticker just under the first statement: "SMART women don't hit men first!"

    It sends the wrong signal, expecially if this happens after a long screaming match and he's already pissed.

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  10. #60
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    Re: Women of DP - I ask you

    Quote Originally Posted by rathi View Post
    Not a woman, but I personally believe in the concept of proportionate response. If someone gets physical with me, my reaction depends on the threat the person represents. Strength, training, presence of weapon and aggressiveness are all important factors. I see no moral difference between a man or a woman of equal danger to me.
    You need to add in a variable for how much damage your response would do to that particular person before you can say whether that response would be proportional. You can potentially hit two people with the same force and just bruise one of their cheeks while breaking the neck of the other. If you were to punch Mike Tyson as hard as you could right in the head you'd probably barely get his attention, but if you were to punch a 90 year old or a 4 month old baby in the head as hard as you could, you might very well kill them. Where the person falls on that spectrum is a huge variable in determining what kind of force, if any, is appropriate.

    Including that variable, in theory I would agree with your general principle, but the reality is in real life that the vast majority of times a woman hitting a man is likely to do fairly limited to no damage and a man hitting a woman is likely to do a great deal more damage, potentially permenant damage, so that would not be a proportional response. And, the reality is that people don't think through this whole calculus about what kind of threat they face and what kind of response would do what sort of damage and whatnot in the heat of the moment. They respond more out of instinct. So, if you're going to set your instinct one way or another, better to set it to "don't hit women period" than "hit back" because the vast majority of the time hitting back would be disproportionate.

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