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Thread: Why aren't women happy???

  1. #251
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    Re: Why aren't women happy???

    Quote Originally Posted by Catz Part Deux View Post
    I think a lot of us who have careers grew up in homes with SAH moms. And I've realized that my mom's home sets a standard of perfection that mine is never going to attain, because she was there full-time. Hell, my house would be twice as clean if I only worked 4 days a week. But, I have (really) 2 days a week to clean, fix things, do the yardwork, etc. If I do one of those things, the other two get dropped or done less well. I do mow the yard every week, we vacuum the entire house once a week, I sweep/mop once a week, and we do dishes daily. The kids have assigned house-cleaning chores. Even so, there are a lot of days when I come home from work and have to go automatically into drill sergeant mode because I live with two teenagers, 4 cats, a dog and a bunny.

    They make messes.

    .
    The teens will grow up and move out of the house, but they won't take their animals with them....been there, done that.
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  2. #252
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    Re: Why aren't women happy???

    Quote Originally Posted by UtahBill View Post
    The teens will grow up and move out of the house, but they won't take their animals with them....been there, done that.
    The dog is 2. I figure 5-6 more years. The bunny will be gone in 3-4 years. One of the cats is 13. That leaves 3 cats, and I suspect I can dump at least one of them on one of the kids.

  3. #253
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    Re: Why aren't women happy???

    Quote Originally Posted by AmericanSon316 View Post
    Whats the point of this thread? If women arent happy they should look at their lives? Are you living for your husband or is he living ko keep you happy if it's the second one then thats why your unhappy. A womans place is in the home and if she is unhappy with where she is she should redecorate or take the kids out for a walk nstead of getting fat watching oprah and not cleaning. We gave them the right to vote and the right to work and theright to free speech and if their not happy they should ask their husband or god for guidance.

    and then one day you might grow up and decide that you actually wish to form a lasting relationship with a woman.
    "you're better off on Stormfront discussing how evil brown men are taking innocent white flowers." Infinite Chaos

  4. #254
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    Re: Why aren't women happy???

    Quote Originally Posted by megaprogman View Post
    My wife is also caught between wanting to work (she likes having nice things) and wanting to be the perfect mom. Ultimately, in both cases, she holds herself up to an unrealistic ideal of working and being a mom. My mother did that as well, now that I think about it. However, in both cases, they could be happy very easily if they leave stuff alone, but they let guilt eat at them for not being perfect.

    One problem my wife has is that she does not let reality be imperfect. The house must be spotless at all times, she must make lots of money, she must be awesome with me in bed, she must be the perfect mom, she must be the perfect friend to her friends, etc. I try to help her understand that often a lot of these things can be achieved when you aren't looking or when you relax and you have a full set of creative and physical energy, but when you are tired, even small tasks can become monumental. She hasn't come to the same conclusion about that as I have though.
    My mother, though I love her dearly, suffers from a similar problem. The whole time growing up, the house had to be spotless. ALWAYS. She was ALWAYS cleaning, and usually so were we. She was never satisfied with the cleanliness of the house. And she had to be the best cook, the best wife, the best employee at her job, the best friend to all of her friends. And if we ever complained about anything - even if it wasn't even remotely related to her at all - she somehow made it "her fault". She would apologize, swear to work harder to "make us happy". Anything went wrong, it was HER fault (according to her). And she would just blow up.

    She always had to be the martyr, and never let you forget it either. She is still like that to this day, though she's better now than she used to be. I try and tell her that the world doesn't revolve around her, so everything that goes wrong isn't her doing. LOL But, I don't think she ever will completely get it.

  5. #255
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    Re: Why aren't women happy???

    Quote Originally Posted by Gardener View Post
    and then one day you might grow up and decide that you actually wish to form a lasting relationship with a woman.
    Some men think that "lasting relationship" means more than just a quickie....
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  6. #256
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    Re: Why aren't women happy???

    Quote Originally Posted by rivrrat View Post
    My mother, though I love her dearly, suffers from a similar problem. The whole time growing up, the house had to be spotless. ALWAYS. She was ALWAYS cleaning, and usually so were we. She was never satisfied with the cleanliness of the house. And she had to be the best cook, the best wife, the best employee at her job, the best friend to all of her friends. And if we ever complained about anything - even if it wasn't even remotely related to her at all - she somehow made it "her fault". She would apologize, swear to work harder to "make us happy". Anything went wrong, it was HER fault (according to her). And she would just blow up.

    She always had to be the martyr, and never let you forget it either. She is still like that to this day, though she's better now than she used to be. I try and tell her that the world doesn't revolve around her, so everything that goes wrong isn't her doing. LOL But, I don't think she ever will completely get it.
    Funny, with my mother, everything was MY fault. It was my turn, I guess. There had to be a reason the 3 siblings ahead of me all bailed at 17, all of them quitting school as well.
    Oracle of Utah
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    Re: Why aren't women happy???

    Quote Originally Posted by UtahBill View Post
    Funny, with my mother, everything was MY fault. It was my turn, I guess. There had to be a reason the 3 siblings ahead of me all bailed at 17, all of them quitting school as well.
    LOL I think she had that with HER mother, which is why she bailed at 17 and had me.

    With her though, it could be something as simple as putting salt on your dinner. She'd see you put salt on something and then ask, "Did I not put enough salt on it? I'm so sorry, I guess I just can't do any goddamn thing right. I'm perfectly useless." Now, mind you... she would repond that poorly when she was "in a mood", not 100% of the time. Sometimes, she would just apologize for not salting the food enough and leave it at that. But when she was "in a mood", the world would come crashing down.

  8. #258
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    Re: Why aren't women happy???

    Quote Originally Posted by rivrrat View Post
    My mother, though I love her dearly, suffers from a similar problem. The whole time growing up, the house had to be spotless. ALWAYS. She was ALWAYS cleaning, and usually so were we. She was never satisfied with the cleanliness of the house. And she had to be the best cook, the best wife, the best employee at her job, the best friend to all of her friends. And if we ever complained about anything - even if it wasn't even remotely related to her at all - she somehow made it "her fault". She would apologize, swear to work harder to "make us happy". Anything went wrong, it was HER fault (according to her). And she would just blow up.

    She always had to be the martyr, and never let you forget it either. She is still like that to this day, though she's better now than she used to be. I try and tell her that the world doesn't revolve around her, so everything that goes wrong isn't her doing. LOL But, I don't think she ever will completely get it.
    My wife doesn't try to be a martyr. She wants these things because thats what she wants out of life. Its for her and not others.

    Per the salt example, if I put salt in, she doesn't care. However, if she trips on a toy (or God forbid, my steel toed shoes), she gets mad at herself because she should have gotten to it. She doesn't make a show of it and often I had to dig to find out whats bothering her.
    Last edited by tacomancer; 08-26-10 at 12:57 PM.

  9. #259
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    Re: Why aren't women happy???

    Quote Originally Posted by rivrrat View Post
    LOL I think she had that with HER mother, which is why she bailed at 17 and had me.

    With her though, it could be something as simple as putting salt on your dinner. She'd see you put salt on something and then ask, "Did I not put enough salt on it? I'm so sorry, I guess I just can't do any goddamn thing right. I'm perfectly useless." Now, mind you... she would repond that poorly when she was "in a mood", not 100% of the time. Sometimes, she would just apologize for not salting the food enough and leave it at that. But when she was "in a mood", the world would come crashing down.
    I hear that it is an insult to the cook to season your food before tasting it, maybe that is what she was saying, in her own way.
    I am the only one from my family to move far, far away from mommy dearest. The others stayed close by, but only half her children attended her funeral, and no friends, because she had no friends. In her defense, she had a very hard life growing up, and couldn't go a day without letting it affect her in some way. She was suicidal as well....attempted at least twice that I know of.
    You can't help others who enjoy wallowing in self pity. Let them do their thing, and keep your distance...
    As for happiness, some people should go spend a few months volunteering in a third world country. That might change their perspectives on what happiness is...
    Oracle of Utah
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    Re: Why aren't women happy???

    Quote Originally Posted by Catz Part Deux View Post
    None of us wanted to be men. We wanted to be women, with choices about how we lived our lives. Duh.
    Well now you have them. Enjoy!
    "He who does not think himself worth saving from poverty and ignorance by his own efforts, will hardly be thought worth the efforts of anybody else." -- Frederick Douglass, Self-Made Men (1872)
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