View Poll Results: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

Voters
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  • 9 or earlier

    7 19.44%
  • 10

    0 0%
  • 11

    5 13.89%
  • 12

    9 25.00%
  • 13

    2 5.56%
  • 14

    1 2.78%
  • 15

    2 5.56%
  • 16

    0 0%
  • 17 or older

    0 0%
  • Other/Never

    10 27.78%
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Thread: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

  1. #41
    Educator ScottD's Avatar
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    I meant to vote 13, not 9. Oops.

    I think a talk on sex is something that should happen the moment you become a teenager.
    Reality tends to have a liberal bias.

  2. #42
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Centrist77 View Post
    Im having it this month with my daughter has Im a single dad with full custody and she has finally started her period and is talking about boys.

    We have had small talks starting at 10( since some girls get their period this early and she did have spotting that went away) but not the full talk so I really want her to know she is "bad" for having thoughts or the "devil" and I really want to be there for her so I can fill in any questions and we have a open door communication built.

    Dont want her learning/thinkin stupid things I hear kids say like girl on top cant get pregnant, or do it under water and you cant get pregnant. IMO information is always the way to go.

    Also in 2 years her sex ed will be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I ever had at her age has i saw her future health book, man its crazy but yet great at the same time.
    I voted "other".

    There should always be an open line of communication. She should feel safe coming to you with her questions. Answer them as they are asked. "The talk" begins as soon as they can understand speach and continues until one of you die.

    If i had a daughter that age, I might find a woman I trusted to go over the feminine issues with her.
    Last edited by Jerry; 06-04-10 at 10:37 PM.

  3. #43
    I'm kind of a big deal

    AGENT J's Avatar
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackdog View Post
    Please point out where I said all kids do? I said MINE did.
    After that I said they will. Again nothing about all kids. Even your initial reply was an attack that had very little to do with my statement.
    attack? lol you are so sensitive
    point it out? thats easy. too easy
    you said you answered other because they will ask when they are ready
    i asked how will you know whan a child is read
    you said "Because my daughter asked me. The child will let you know when they are ready because they will ask."

    if that is not implying that all kids will ask then you should have said it differently, since my question was about kids in general LOL

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackdog View Post
    You asked for peoples opinions.
    sure did but i didnt ask you how your kids turned out so you repeating my daughter is this or tthat or my daughter is fine etc has no barring on whether a child will ask their parents which is what i was disputing. she could be 1st femal president no bearing on whether she or any other kid will ask


    Quote Originally Posted by Blackdog View Post
    hard to eye roll with egg on your face isnt it
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  4. #44
    I'm kind of a big deal

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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry View Post
    I voted "other".

    There should always be an open line of communication. She should feel safe coming to you with her questions. Answer them as they are asked. "The talk" begins as soon as they can understand speach and continues until one of you die.

    If i had a daughter that age, I might find a woman I trusted to go over the feminine issues with her.


    agreed as im also doing this which is her gram, my mom since they are very close. When i first suspected spotting at 10 I had my mom feel it out then I joined and let her know im fully aware of girl stuff, i can be talked too and of course always want to know

    thanks
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  5. #45
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Centrist77 View Post
    Im having it this month with my daughter has Im a single dad with full custody and she has finally started her period and is talking about boys.

    We have had small talks starting at 10( since some girls get their period this early and she did have spotting that went away) but not the full talk so I really want her to know she is "bad" for having thoughts or the "devil" and I really want to be there for her so I can fill in any questions and we have a open door communication built.

    Dont want her learning/thinkin stupid things I hear kids say like girl on top cant get pregnant, or do it under water and you cant get pregnant. IMO information is always the way to go.

    Also in 2 years her sex ed will be waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay more than I ever had at her age has i saw her future health book, man its crazy but yet great at the same time.
    I think both of my kids asked me to explain sex sometime when they were in elementary school, but since that time, there have been dozens of other discussions on everything you can even imagine. I'd say 11 is peak time. I wouldn't necessarily try to cover it all at once, which might be awkward for both of you, but do it gradually, in small pieces, as subjects come up.

  6. #46
    I'm kind of a big deal

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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by ScottD View Post
    I meant to vote 13, not 9. Oops.

    I think a talk on sex is something that should happen the moment you become a teenager.
    cant say i disagree I voted other because I think it does depend on the child but i also admit that I wouldnt wait past 8th grade, 14 or so
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  7. #47
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by apdst View Post
    Say that when your daughter comes home to tell you that she's knocked up.

    My daughters and step daughter don't make a move that I don't know about.
    no offense, but this is how I was raised, and as soon as I went to college, I went nuts. Introducing kids gradually to some degree of freedom allows the teenager to internalize their own values and own them, versus having them forced on them by the parent (and the kids never really take ownership of them).

  8. #48
    I'm kind of a big deal

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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Catz Part Deux View Post
    I think both of my kids asked me to explain sex sometime when they were in elementary school, but since that time, there have been dozens of other discussions on everything you can even imagine. I'd say 11 is peak time. I wouldn't necessarily try to cover it all at once, which might be awkward for both of you, but do it gradually, in small pieces, as subjects come up.
    agree, i call it big talk only because im going to keep it going as long as seems fitting as most other small talks I cut once intial questions were answered, not always but most times
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  9. #49
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Catz Part Deux View Post
    I killed your cat, you druggie bitch..
    love it lol
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by 1069 View Post
    I never talked to my kids much about sex, either. Their dad talked to them, I guess.
    I did talk to them a little bit about puberty and stuff.I figured they probably did already know; they're smart like I was, and they have the added benefit of the internet. There aren't many questions you can't find answers to online.


    What kids can't find on the internet is a value system to help them sort out and make choices about their sexuality. The conversations I have had with my kids have never involved mechanics. They've involved things like how you know when you're ready to have sex, what affect sex has on your life, what it all means.

    ONe of the best conversations I ever had with my daughter was after she found condoms in her dad's car. It was about how people deal with sex and protection, and how her dad's philosophy is kind of to fly by the seat of his pants and be prepared for anything, but my philosophy is that I don't enjoy sex with strangers or without that emotional connection, and how I usually know well in advance if I'm going to have sex, so I don't keep condoms in my car, just in case. In an ideal world, sex is best between two people who are in an exclusive relationship and who love each other, and she should make sure that a guy deserves her. But when and if she does choose to have sex, it's really important to protect herself, and to always plan for that, however that works for her. what I wanted her to get out of it was that there are a lot of possible risks connected to sex, and that she will have a lot of friends who view sex differently, but that for me, ideally, she'll be picky and only choose to be with a guy who really adores her and proves that over time.

    Kids don't need conversations these days about "this is a penis, and it goes into a vagina." They need conversations about how to protect themselves emotionally, how to say no gracefully, and the ramifications of having sex at 16. For instance, one conversation my daughter and I've had repeatedly is about the fact that having sex with a high school boy is basically like having sex with the entire high school, because he'll tell all his buddies, and they'll tell all their buddies, and on and on, so there is basically no privacy about that sort of decision at her age. And, that is stuff that she needs to know and think about, and have reinforced by experiences that she observes, over time. Same with her brother.
    Last edited by Catz Part Deux; 06-04-10 at 10:57 PM.

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