View Poll Results: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

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  • 9 or earlier

    7 19.44%
  • 10

    0 0%
  • 11

    5 13.89%
  • 12

    9 25.00%
  • 13

    2 5.56%
  • 14

    1 2.78%
  • 15

    2 5.56%
  • 16

    0 0%
  • 17 or older

    0 0%
  • Other/Never

    10 27.78%
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Thread: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

  1. #31
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackdog View Post
    Man I raised a fine daughter. She came to us as do most kids with questions. Not necessarily about sex, but Pre-sex questions. I mean it's not that difficult to figure out.
    again this means nothing as all kids will not ask and I doubt even the majority do
    also how you raised your daughter is meaningless too

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackdog View Post
    Then you come on a message board asking for help and when it is offered you call me naive?

    At least I knew enough not to need a bunch of strangers on the Internet to help me raise my children.
    nice try at an insult but has usual you fail with egg on your face, again, i clearly already said my game plan which is already planned LOL i was just curious on peopls opinion im still stcking to my game plan, whooops
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  2. #32
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Blackdog View Post
    She went to her mom actually, but we were pretty open. I mean we are not talking watching a sex scene with your parents.

    PS I feel ya, I can't do that either but it really has no bearing.
    Well good for you guys. I was pretty open with my parents too about everything but wanting to talk about sex. And I only brought up the sex in movies because many kids are not only feel awkward talking to their parents about sex, but also just watching a scene in a movie, even if there is no sex. Hell it is even worse now thanks to my girlfriend who I love deeply (she is sitting next to me so I had to type that part.)

  3. #33
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by 1069 View Post
    My dad never had any "sex talk" with me, but he knew I read a lot, he did nothing to restrict my reading material at any age, and he knew I'd ask him if I had questions, because I asked him questions about anything I wanted to know about.
    The idea of talking to my dad about sex made me really uncomfortable.
    It still does, actually.

    I never talked to my kids much about sex, either. Their dad talked to them, I guess.
    I did talk to them a little bit about puberty and stuff.
    It just seems like, by the time you feel maybe you should talk to them, they already know.
    And when you try to broach the subject, it's like "Stop! I already know all this, okay? I already know! Just stop."

    I just felt like, clearly, they were uncomfortable discussing this with me, just like I was uncomfortable discussing it with my dad.
    So I didn't force it.
    I figured they probably did already know; they're smart like I was, and they have the added benefit of the internet. There aren't many questions you can't find answers to online.

    I hoping to avoid that
    we are already pretty open has often i am please and surprised at the stuff she asks me that she hears at school or at sports etc
    she does seem gun shy about her girl stuff though so it leaves me suspect, like the spotting at 10, she was not going to tell me or atleast didnt for a while, now once i asked her she opened the gates but i thought it was a little weird not to tell with a kid dealing with blood

    oh well like i said im gonna send out some feelers ask her what she knows and feel in the blanks
    thanks
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  4. #34
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    These days, you'd better start earlier rather than later. Girls probably between 10-12. Boys, 12-13. It does depend to some degree on how mature they are and how much intrest they have in the opposite sex, but don't be 100% sure that they don't have MORE intrest than you THINK they do. Better to be safe and start early.

    I don't really believe in having ONE big "talk", though. More like several dozen small talks, based on what they're mature enough to handle, starting at whatever age they start asking questions... and maybe anywhere from two or three (or a dozen) medium-size talks in their early to mid teens as their maturity and intrests grow and change.

    At age 5 and under they don't really need to know much. "Babies are made by Mommies and Daddies and come out of Mommy's tummy" is about all they need to hear. That and maybe "good touch/bad touch" and "stranger = danger".

    Age 6 to 8... "Sex is something adults who are married and love each other very much do together, and sometimes it makes babies. It's not something you need to worry about much because you're too young yet."

    Around 9 to 11 you can sort of go into some of the clinical, technical basics, and just sort of mention that there are risks to having sex outside of marriage (or whatever you believe, if otherwise), that girls can get pregnant the first time and you can catch terrible diseases that never go away if you're not careful, "so don't do it".

    Somewhere between 11 and 14 you're going to need to be kind of explicit, but it doesn't have to be all in one huge overwhelming dose.

    I like the concept of "teachable moments". This is when your kid has a question, or a subject comes up and they're actually listening and intrested in what you have to say about it.... possibly because something has happened or they've seen/heard something that makes it relevant to them. These kind of talks stick with them much better than if the parent just picks some random day and time, interrupts the kid in the middle of his or her homework/video game/ TV time/whatever and says "we need to have a Talk". The latter tends to be much more awkward and more likely to go in one ear and out the other.

    One thing I've always done though: I never lie to my child. I may tell him something is none of his business, or I may tell him he isn't ready for some level of information just yet... but I never lie. No storks or cabbage patches or other BS. When he asked me if Santa was real (at age 6), I told him the truth: how the real person St. Nicholas began the custom of giving gifts at Christmas and that he was the source of the Santa legends, but no there really isn't a man in red suit with flying reindeer, sorry. It's a trust thing: he KNOWS that he can trust anything I tell him and believe me.

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  5. #35
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Goshin View Post
    These days, you'd better start earlier rather than later. Girls probably between 10-12. Boys, 12-13. It does depend to some degree on how mature they are and how much intrest they have in the opposite sex, but don't be 100% sure that they don't have MORE intrest than you THINK they do. Better to be safe and start early.
    In this day and age, opposite sex is not a guarantee either by any stretch of the imagination.
    We became a great nation not because we are a nation of cynics. We became a great nation because we are a nation of believers - Lindsey Graham

    Quote Originally Posted by Fiddytree View Post
    Uh oh Megyn...your vagina witchcraft is about ready to be exposed.

  6. #36
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Goshin View Post
    These days, you'd better start earlier rather than later. Girls probably between 10-12. Boys, 12-13. It does depend to some degree on how mature they are and how much intrest they have in the opposite sex, but don't be 100% sure that they don't have MORE intrest than you THINK they do. Better to be safe and start early.

    I don't really believe in having ONE big "talk", though. More like several dozen small talks, based on what they're mature enough to handle, starting at whatever age they start asking questions... and maybe anywhere from two or three (or a dozen) medium-size talks in their early to mid teens as their maturity and intrests grow and change.

    At age 5 and under they don't really need to know much. "Babies are made by Mommies and Daddies and come out of Mommy's tummy" is about all they need to hear. That and maybe "good touch/bad touch" and "stranger = danger".

    Age 6 to 8... "Sex is something adults who are married and love each other very much do together, and sometimes it makes babies. It's not something you need to worry about much because you're too young yet."

    Around 9 to 11 you can sort of go into some of the clinical, technical basics, and just sort of mention that there are risks to having sex outside of marriage (or whatever you believe, if otherwise), that girls can get pregnant the first time and you can catch terrible diseases that never go away if you're not careful, "so don't do it".

    Somewhere between 11 and 14 you're going to need to be kind of explicit, but it doesn't have to be all in one huge overwhelming dose.

    I like the concept of "teachable moments". This is when your kid has a question, or a subject comes up and they're actually listening and intrested in what you have to say about it.... possibly because something has happened or they've seen/heard something that makes it relevant to them. These kind of talks stick with them much better than if the parent just picks some random day and time, interrupts the kid in the middle of his or her homework/video game/ TV time/whatever and says "we need to have a Talk". The latter tends to be much more awkward and more likely to go in one ear and out the other.

    One thing I've always done though: I never lie to my child. I may tell him something is none of his business, or I may tell him he isn't ready for some level of information just yet... but I never lie. No storks or cabbage patches or other BS. When he asked me if Santa was real (at age 6), I told him the truth: how the real person St. Nicholas began the custom of giving gifts at Christmas and that he was the source of the Santa legends, but no there really isn't a man in red suit with flying reindeer, sorry. It's a trust thing: he KNOWS that he can trust anything I tell him and believe me.
    thanks!
    and I agree with very much of this and have also done it
    especially the teachable moments at the younger age, at older ages i feel it might be too late as the "moment" may have happened without me there, you know what I mean

    I have also practiced the trust thing and told mine about santa early
    seems like my plan is solid and fitting and not uncommon
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  7. #37
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Redress View Post
    In this day and age, opposite sex is not a guarantee either by any stretch of the imagination.
    agreed and this will never be a problem in my house hold as there will be no fear if she is gay, she has already questioned gay and that was one of the mini talks. It was about when she was 9 or 10 I simply told her some girls like girls and some guys like guys, she responded, "oh, ok".

    so easy, i wish all talks were that simple
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  8. #38
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Redress View Post
    In this day and age, opposite sex is not a guarantee either by any stretch of the imagination.

    I started to say "the opposite, or whatever, sex", but I just couldn't quite bring myself to do so.

    Fiddling While Rome Burns
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  9. #39
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Goshin View Post
    I started to say "the opposite, or whatever, sex", but I just couldn't quite bring myself to do so.
    yeah, gotta deal with reality though
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  10. #40
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    Re: What is a good age to have the FULL sex talk?

    Quote Originally Posted by Centrist77 View Post
    again this means nothing as all kids will not ask and I doubt even the majority do
    Please point out where I said all kids do? I said MINE did.

    After that I said they will. Again nothing about all kids. Even your initial reply was an attack that had very little to do with my statement.

    Quote Originally Posted by Centrist77 View Post
    also how you raised your daughter is meaningless too
    You asked for peoples opinions.

    Quote Originally Posted by Centrist77 View Post
    nice try at an insult but has usual you fail with egg on your face, again, i clearly already said my game plan which is already planned LOL i was just curious on peopls opinion im still stcking to my game plan, whooops
    Last edited by Black Dog; 06-04-10 at 10:35 PM.
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