i have to ask your age, as i am amazed and appalled at some of your assumptions.I'll take on the most emotionally charged portion of your post, Cat. It represents the good and the bad of feminism.
The good is that you are able to be financially independent and get out of a bad marriage and raise your kids on your own.
The bad is several fold.
First, you had to raise your kids on their own without a male role model and a family role model (at least you haven't mentioned one). Statistics show that your kids are more likely to divorce themselves, perpetuating the destruction of traditional families.
Secondly, your being an independent minded feminist may have contributed to the outcome of your marriage. If your husband was not able to deal with your non-traditional outlook, he may have become an abusive prick and stuck his dick in other women. These things do tend to take two to tango.
Thirdly, the combination of financial independence and non-traditional roles by women have disrupted the traditional family. Divorce for much lessor reasons than yours occurs regularly. People get tired of each other and when marriage is no longer fun and games and the real work starts, people have an easier time of ignoring their vows and quitting on each other. This destabilizes a foundation stone in our society. Secondary effects of single parent families are stark.
Lastly, the instability of the family causes women to have children out of wedlock. This perpetuates the problems.