View Poll Results: Overall, was feminism bad for America?

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  • Yes, it was bad for America

    48 41.03%
  • No, it was good for America

    51 43.59%
  • A little bad and a little good. Overall it was neutral

    4 3.42%
  • A little bad and a little good. It changed a lot but not one way or the other.

    10 8.55%
  • Other...

    6 5.13%
Multiple Choice Poll.
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Thread: Overall, was feminism bad for America?

  1. #251
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    Re: Dr. Laura

    Quote Originally Posted by Dav View Post
    Do you enjoy getting beaten within an inch of your life by hoards of angry women? Is it some kind of fetish of yours?
    Do you really have to ask this? Why do you think Jerry has such a soft spot for me? Let me clue you in:


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    Re: Overall, was feminism bad for America?

    Quote Originally Posted by lizzie View Post
    That's what happened to my son also. Happily married (he thought), two children, she suddenly decides that she needs to find herself, so she has an affair (I guess someone else found her), then she's gone with the wind.

    It was extremely heart-breaking for him, who is a really decent, intelligent, hard-working and devoted man, and it was difficult for me to watch my child have his heart broken.
    This is exactly where no-fault divorce laws harm marriage. In many states, the partner who does this is still entitled to half of the couple's assets, in spite of the fact that he/she cheated on their spouse.

    IMO, if one of the spouses cheats, he/she should be financially penalized in the divorce settlement to a substantial degree.

  3. #253
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    Re: Overall, was feminism bad for America?

    I cannot see how feminism could be bad for the country when in its essence it is people asking for the same rights (in practice as well as theory) that others get.

    Unless, of course, women decide to stop shaving their armpits and crotches, than we will have a problem.

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    Re: Overall, was feminism bad for America?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    I let go when I realized that someone just *had* to wash the dishes and do the laundry. It couldn't be the kids - they had school and their own lives to live. Couldn't be my husband, his job was ultimately demanding and that has only increased with each promotion - he was working 40 hours on average and now he works 60+ and often goes away for days at a time.

    So, feminism in my life has been a boot in the butt - my energy and reason to do things that I don't *want* to do. I tell myself all the time "I can do this, I'm a woman - this is no big deal." - I've done all sorts of things that I use to find appalling, repulsive and scary. I've been under my house endlessly - in the attic - in the woods in the dark. There's nothing I don't know how to do or am not willing to learn and take on.

    Right now I'm in month 4 of remodeling our master bath. It *needed* to be done - the old floor was water damaged and rotting out - and no one else but me had the time to do it. We couldn't afford to hire someone to do it. My husband physically can't do it (injured during his previous deployment) so I'm the only one whose around to step up to the plate and take care of business.

    I'm a bit slow, I'm nervous and unsure of the quality of my work but I'm doing pretty well and learning more and more with each DIY project I take on (this is my 2nd bathroom) - I could either sit and grouse and bitch like a pansy or man up and deal with it and get it done.

    That, to me, is a "woman" - can do everything and anything that needs to be done. I cook, clean, sew and stick my hands in septic tanks.
    This is exactly right. I'm a single mom and money is often tight. I do the landscaping at my house. If I want a new light fixture, I install it. If the toilet breaks, I fix it. If the sink gets clogged, I undo the pipes and fix it.

    I didn't set out wanting to do those things, but there was no one else.

    However, everything I do, from learning to lay tile myself to putting in a new light fixture to fixing my car...it is empowering.

    I remember being up on boyfriend's roof, helping him install the roof liner, put in new eaves, and lay down a new base layer of plywood with an air-powered nail gun. And my parents were absolutely mortified..."That's not your job. He won't respect you because you don't act like a lady." But there was no reason I couldn't do it and help out. I'm competent.

    I like being competent. Being a woman doesn't mean, to me, a long list of things I cannot do. It means that I will do what NEEDS to be done, and if I don't know how, I will learn.

    Most of my female peers, where I live, don't know how to mow their lawn. They aren't willing to work that hard. Their husbands pay for everything.

    I can't imagine being that person. I am proud of my ability to do whatever needs to be done.

  5. #255
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    Re: Dr. Laura

    Quote Originally Posted by Jerry View Post
    You might want to check that before posting it. Women initiate most divorces...
    I initiated my divorce. After he cheated on me THREE TIMES. So tell me, Jerry...who broke my marriage? It sure as hell wasn't me.

  6. #256
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    Re: Overall, was feminism bad for America?

    Perhaps divorce isn't the key to the failed marriage equation.

    I think it's the marriage aspect - too flighty, too thoughtless, too quick and too soon seem to be the common traits among many failed/failing/did fail but rebuilt marriages.

    for my husband and I this was definitely true. We knew each other for 2 months before he proposed and we were married a month later.

    Every problem we've had can be drawn back to the fact that we didn't know each other very well and so certain fundamental differences and beliefs weren't discussed. Nor did we consider much else other than our quick to the draw feelings on wanting to be together.

    I might be reaching on this, but I feel it has some validity.

    But, of course - divorce is just more commonly accepted in society for both genders. It's, also, easier to do than ever before and I'm presuming it's less costly. But, also, so is marriage. A marriage license isn't too costly and if you're not into a big ceremony you don't need one - it was never a "must" but it use to be a vital component that's less and less prevalent.

    I think the ease of getting divorced - and the ease of getting married - permit people to go into a union without a worry "if it doesn't work out"
    Last edited by Aunt Spiker; 05-14-10 at 10:17 AM.
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  7. #257
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    Re: Overall, was feminism bad for America?

    Quote Originally Posted by Catz Part Deux View Post
    This is exactly right. I'm a single mom and money is often tight. I do the landscaping at my house. If I want a new light fixture, I install it. If the toilet breaks, I fix it. If the sink gets clogged, I undo the pipes and fix it.

    I didn't set out wanting to do those things, but there was no one else.

    However, everything I do, from learning to lay tile myself to putting in a new light fixture to fixing my car...it is empowering.

    I remember being up on boyfriend's roof, helping him install the roof liner, put in new eaves, and lay down a new base layer of plywood with an air-powered nail gun. And my parents were absolutely mortified..."That's not your job. He won't respect you because you don't act like a lady." But there was no reason I couldn't do it and help out. I'm competent.

    I like being competent. Being a woman doesn't mean, to me, a long list of things I cannot do. It means that I will do what NEEDS to be done, and if I don't know how, I will learn.

    Most of my female peers, where I live, don't know how to mow their lawn. They aren't willing to work that hard. Their husbands pay for everything.

    I can't imagine being that person. I am proud of my ability to do whatever needs to be done.
    Exactly!

    I just CANNOT imagine being a woman 100 years and NOT doing things - just sitting back and letting everyone else do them because "I'm a female and shouldn't do those things" just mortifies me.

    But, yet, that's how I WAS just 10 years ago! So many things I didn't *want* to even consider doing because it wasn't *my job* to do it. I'm glad I've changed a lot on these issues.
    A screaming comes across the sky.
    It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.
    Pynchon - Gravity's Rainbow

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    Re: Overall, was feminism bad for America?

    Making the decision to get divorced was the hardest thing I've done.

    I remember that on our 10th anniversary, my ex had a conference in St. Pete, so the kids and I went with him and spent the week down there. And the night of our anniversary, we put the kids to bed in the room and went down to the hotel bar to have a drink.

    He toasted "to another 10 years," and in the middle of crowded bar, I burst into tears. My first thought was, "I can't do another 10 years of this."

    I knew, after the second time that I caught him cheating, that he'd probably always been doing that throughout our marriage, and that he always WOULD be doing it. And at that point, our marriage was unendurable.

    I put in another year, but after the 3rd time I caught him, I was completely done. I didn't want my daughter or my son watching the way he treated me, and thinking it was normal. And, although I could do my best, a marriage doesn't work if only one person is trying to hold it together.

    My daughter told me this year that she wishes I'd divorced him at least 5 years earlier, because it was extremely stressful for her, too. That's where all those stomach aches came from that she had in elementary school.
    Last edited by Catz Part Deux; 05-14-10 at 10:23 AM.

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    Re: Overall, was feminism bad for America?

    Quote Originally Posted by Aunt Spiker View Post
    Exactly!

    I just CANNOT imagine being a woman 100 years and NOT doing things - just sitting back and letting everyone else do them because "I'm a female and shouldn't do those things" just mortifies me.

    But, yet, that's how I WAS just 10 years ago! So many things I didn't *want* to even consider doing because it wasn't *my job* to do it. I'm glad I've changed a lot on these issues.
    I didn't want to go back to work after my daughter was born, but we needed the money. My mom was there at the time, and gave me the best piece of advice she's ever given me...she said, "Being a mother means that you do whatever you need to do to take care of your kids. If that means working, then you work. If that means staying at home, then you stay at home. In your case, you have to work, you don't have a choice, so you're just going to have to suck it up and do it."

    I'm really glad, ultimately, that I wasn't really reliant on my ex financially. When I divorced him, I was fully capable of taking care of the kids on my own and keeping them in their house where they'd lived for the past 7 years. That was important.

  10. #260
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    Re: Overall, was feminism bad for America?

    Ok. I thought of one bad thing about feminism. No my wife thinks she should experience an orgasm every time.

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