It was extremely heart-breaking for him, who is a really decent, intelligent, hard-working and devoted man, and it was difficult for me to watch my child have his heart broken.
Last edited by lizzie; 05-13-10 at 09:41 PM.
"God is the name by which I designate all things which cross my path violently and recklessly, all things which alter my plans and intentions, and change the course of my life, for better or for worse."
-C G Jung
We're squared away, now, so don't worry. All those issues are far in the past and he and I have both dealt with our individual problems. . . we're candy.
but, you know - there are accepted differences between men and women and the roles that are followed through in a family/marriage/relationship. . . like nursing a baby. no matter how much a woman would want a man to do that, a man just isn't going to be able to do that. there just are some undeniable differences leading the different genders to play separate roles.
I let go when I realized that someone just *had* to wash the dishes and do the laundry. It couldn't be the kids - they had school and their own lives to live. Couldn't be my husband, his job was ultimately demanding and that has only increased with each promotion - he was working 40 hours on average and now he works 60+ and often goes away for days at a time.
I had to do it and just get over my bitterness. Did that take away my feminism? Nope - not at all. I thought it would but it didn't. I do all the things that are necessary to keep the house and family going when he can't be here and I do things that he just doesn't have the time to do. . . which is practically everything. His end of the bargain is to stay in shape and work and bring home the bacon - which he does very well.
So, feminism in my life has been a boot in the butt - my energy and reason to do things that I don't *want* to do. I tell myself all the time "I can do this, I'm a woman - this is no big deal." - I've done all sorts of things that I use to find appalling, repulsive and scary. I've been under my house endlessly - in the attic - in the woods in the dark. There's nothing I don't know how to do or am not willing to learn and take on.
Right now I'm in month 4 of remodeling our master bath. It *needed* to be done - the old floor was water damaged and rotting out - and no one else but me had the time to do it. We couldn't afford to hire someone to do it. My husband physically can't do it (injured during his previous deployment) so I'm the only one whose around to step up to the plate and take care of business.
I'm a bit slow, I'm nervous and unsure of the quality of my work but I'm doing pretty well and learning more and more with each DIY project I take on (this is my 2nd bathroom) - I could either sit and grouse and bitch like a pansy or man up and deal with it and get it done.
That, to me, is a "woman" - can do everything and anything that needs to be done. I cook, clean, sew and stick my hands in septic tanks.
A screaming comes across the sky.
It has happened before, but there is nothing to compare it to now.Pynchon - Gravity's Rainbow
Not true.but, you know - there are accepted differences between men and women and the roles that are followed through in a family/marriage/relationship. . . like nursing a baby. no matter how much a woman would want a man to do that, a man just isn't going to be able to do that. there just are some undeniable differences leading the different genders to play separate roles.
Some men can and do nurse their babies.
They induce lactation with breast pumps and hormone pills.
They don't typically produce enough milk to provide an infant's sole source of nourishment, but they produce some.
Male lactation - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia