Maybe its ok that children don't connect with either religion. The main goal in my book
is that the parents and children share their lives, not that the child become one religion or another. Parents who want to control what their religion their children become are egregiously controlling. Remember people, you are GUIDING an individual PERSON, not CONTROLLING a PET or TOY.
Which is really what the state SHOULD be trying to curb in the matter of the OP: The "controllingness" of one or both parents. Not where the children attend religious services. In my view, this case is arising because at least one parent is under the misguided notion that they are the sole person who gets to share their religion with their children. A very controlling view.