I feel with death does not come respect. Did you earn my respect while living? If not? I am free to diss you fresh in your grave if I think you were a frigging asshole while living.
I am not sure why people think death or even age earns you some strange kind of "respect" .. This whole thing about respect your elders and do not speak ill of the dead is just lame. WHY NOT speak ill of someone if they were jerks!