2. Liberals would be less likely, not more likely, to support abortion if it could be proven that the fetus was a tree, an endangered rodent, or gay.
3. Yes, I totally made all that up, because it is a joke. The reason it is a funny joke is the same reason it got you all fired up. As is the case with all good humor, there is an element of truth in it.
4. You are accidentally hilarious, and that's the best kind. Thank you.