View Poll Results: What do you think about apologies (political or otherwise)?

Voters
24. You may not vote on this poll
  • They are signs of strength and growth

    13 54.17%
  • They are signs of weakness and fear

    0 0%
  • Other

    10 41.67%
  • I'm too weak for this poll

    1 4.17%
Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast
Results 11 to 20 of 35

Thread: What Do You Think About Apologies?

  1. #11
    Sage
    jamesrage's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    A place where common sense exists
    Last Seen
    12-10-17 @ 09:23 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Slightly Conservative
    Posts
    31,067

    Re: What Do You Think About Apologies?

    Quote Originally Posted by aps View Post
    Apologies are a sign of strength--no question about that.

    I have had to work on learning to apologize. My mother, for the most part, was a very loving mother. However, if I upset her and apologized, she would say, "You're not sorry." In other words, she would reject my apology. The constant rejection of my apologies slowly caused me to develop a difficulty with apologizing. Sigh.
    Were you actually sorry for what you did and remorseful when you apologized to your mother or did you apologize because you do not want your mother to be mad at you?


    That is one thing I will NEVER do to another person.
    So you would take a "I'm only sorry because I was caught so please take mercy on me" apology or a" I'm only sorry because I did something to piss you off and I do not want you mad at me anymore" apology?

    One of the things wrong with society is we teach children to apologize for things they are not sorry for with the idea that someone saying I'm sorry makes things better. Thats why we have pedophile scum who murdered and raped children offering bogus apologies at a trial to the loved ones of that child he raped and killed and preachers offering bogus apologies when they get caught doing something they shouldn't.
    Last edited by jamesrage; 08-05-09 at 10:46 AM.
    "A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of the city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murder is less to fear"

    Cicero Marcus Tullius

  2. #12
    Baby Eating Monster
    Korimyr the Rat's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Laramie, WY
    Last Seen
    11-23-17 @ 02:02 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Libertarian - Left
    Posts
    18,709
    Blog Entries
    1

    Re: What Do You Think About Apologies?

    Not me. I'm going to gloat at my trial.

  3. #13
    Passionate
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Last Seen
    03-07-11 @ 04:35 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Liberal
    Posts
    15,675

    Re: What Do You Think About Apologies?

    Quote Originally Posted by jamesrage View Post
    Were you actually sorry for what you did and remorseful when you apologized to your mother or did you apologize because you do not want your mother to apologize.
    I'm confused by the second option? I apologized to my mother because I didn't want her to have to apologize to me?

    Anyway, I was probably sincere initially when I apologized. I stopped showing sincerity when my apologies were consistently rejected and not intentionally (i.e., I wasn't intentionally not showing sincerity--it was a defense mechanism). That likely only added fuel to the fire.

    My mother believed (and I think she still does to some extent) that a parent should never have to apologize to their child. Give me a break.


    So you would take a "I'm only sorry because I was caught so please take mercy on me" apology or a" I'm only sorry because I did something to piss you off and I do not want you mad at me anymore" apology?

    One of the things wrong with society is we teach children to apologize for things they are not sorry for with the idea that someone saying I'm sorry makes things better. Thats why we have pedophile scum who murdered and raped children offering bogus apologies at a trial to the loved ones of that child he raped and killed and preachers offering bogus apologies when they get caught doing something they shouldn't.
    My point on that was made based upon an apology that was sincere.

  4. #14
    Sage
    jamesrage's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    A place where common sense exists
    Last Seen
    12-10-17 @ 09:23 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Slightly Conservative
    Posts
    31,067

    Re: What Do You Think About Apologies?

    Quote Originally Posted by aps View Post
    I'm confused by the second option? I apologized to my mother because I didn't want her to have to apologize to me?
    I changed it, it should read-


    "Were you actually sorry for what you did and remorseful when you apologized to your mother or did you apologize because you do not want your mother to be mad at you?"

    Anyway, I was probably sincere initially when I apologized. I stopped showing sincerity when my apologies were consistently rejected and not intentionally (i.e., I wasn't intentionally not showing sincerity--it was a defense mechanism). That likely only added fuel to the fire.
    Your mother probably saw your apologies the same way mother saw my apologies when I used to get in trouble in school for fighting or something else followed by the usual "I promise I won't do it again, I swear I won't get into any more fights or anything else I am not supposed to". When you constantly do the same thing and apologize for it it, that apology looks fake.

    My mother believed (and I think she still does to some extent) that a parent should never have to apologize to their child. Give me a break.

    If its for disciplining a child then you shouldn't. That reinforces the idea in the child's head that the parent is wrong for punishing the child and therefore renders the parent's discipline useless since it will only be seen in the eyes of a child that the parent just being mean or just being angry.




    My point on that was made based upon an apology that was sincere.
    When your apologies were actually sincere as you claim, where they because you were sincerely remorseful for your actions towards your mother or were you just sincerely trying to just make her feel better or make peace?
    Last edited by jamesrage; 08-05-09 at 11:02 AM.
    "A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of the city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murder is less to fear"

    Cicero Marcus Tullius

  5. #15
    Banned
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    United States
    Last Seen
    01-21-16 @ 12:21 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Independent
    Posts
    51,124

    Re: What Do You Think About Apologies?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cilogy View Post
    What do you think about apologies or saying "sorry?"

    Now, consider that the apologies I'm talking about are not necessarily from senators or presidents or leaders, but from you and me too. Are apologies things that help with growth and strengthening your confidence/dignity? Or are they last resorts that show weakness and instability in your self-esteem? Or something else?

    I knew a lot of kids my age back in high school who thought saying "sorry" was a weak move by anyone. And I still know many adults who think the same way. You always "gotta be a man" or "be strong" and "fight back" or some useless bull like that.

    Is that the case in politics? When political leaders apologize for a mistake is it a sign of weakness or a sign of strength?
    To me any apology doesn't mean anything unless the person has made or is making honest efforts to change or compensate for the damage. Absent that, "I'm sorry" is a PC way of saying "just let me off the hook."

    In debate, "I'm sorry" is usually a weak attempt at trolling, used to mean "to bad".

    In real life I hear "I'm sorry" to mean "I'm doing it anyway", so I don't give apologies in general much credit.
    Last edited by Jerry; 08-05-09 at 11:16 AM.

  6. #16
    Passionate
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Last Seen
    03-07-11 @ 04:35 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Liberal
    Posts
    15,675

    Re: What Do You Think About Apologies?

    Quote Originally Posted by jamesrage View Post
    I changed it, it should read-


    "Were you actually sorry for what you did and remorseful when you apologized to your mother or did you apologize because you do not want your mother to be mad at you?"
    Hmmm. I don't know if I can remember. I'm sure I apologized for the latter reason you mention at times. To me, if I say something without any intent to hurt my mother, and it hurts her feelings, I think an apology so that she's not upset with me would be appropriate.

    Your mother probably saw your apologies the same way mother saw my apologies when I used to get in trouble in school for fighting or something else followed by the usual "I promise I won't do it again, I swear I won't get into any more fights". When you constantly do the same thing and apologize for it it, that apology looks fake.
    I don't remember my apologies being based on things like that (behavior towards other people or behavior not directed at her). I would have more respect if she sat me down and said, "I keep hearing the same apology over and over again, and there is a point where I find them insincere." Something like that.


    If its for disciplining a child then you shouldn't. That reinforces the idea in the child's head that the parent is wrong for punishing the child and therefore renders the parent's discipline useless since it will only be seen in the eyes of a child as the parent just being mean or just being angry.
    I disagree, although not under all circumstances. If the discipline was worse than it needed to be, I think an apology would be appropriate. Or if the parent overreacts to something. For example, I yelled at my son when he spilled something the other day. He didn't do it on purpose. I apologized to him and told him I didn't need to yell. To me, an apology under those circumstances is appropriate (and warranted, IMO).


    When your apologies were actually sincere as you claim, where they because you were sincerely remorseful for your actions towards your mother or were you just sincerely trying to just make her feel better or make peace?
    Does it really matter?

  7. #17
    Student Sammyo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Last Seen
    08-29-09 @ 04:29 PM
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    185

    Re: What Do You Think About Apologies?

    It depends on why the apology was offered. Motive is everything. Anybody with kids knows that the words mean almost nothing--it's the mentality behind them.

    I'm in favor of someone apologizing or saying that they're sorry whenever the individual feels that it is the right thing to do. Sometimes, however, it's the right thing to do, not because you did anything wrong, but because you need to be seen as apologetic in the situation. Two people can both legitimately think that the are right, and in such a case, neither "should" apologize, but one may decide that the future rewards of a present apology are worth the trade off involved.

    So, in conclusion, apologize when you feel it is the right thing to do, not only when you feel it's warranted.

  8. #18
    Sage
    jamesrage's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2005
    Location
    A place where common sense exists
    Last Seen
    12-10-17 @ 09:23 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Slightly Conservative
    Posts
    31,067

    Re: What Do You Think About Apologies?

    Quote Originally Posted by aps View Post
    Does it really matter?
    Yes one is genuine and the other is fake. The general basic definition of apology is a written or verbal expression of remorse or sorrow for having wronged another. Simply apologizing to make someone feel better or to get on their good side is not a genuine apology. Apologizing because you actually feel genuine regret(not regretting the consequences,for example a someone in prison,someone who doesn't want their loved one to be pissed at them and etc) for your actions that have wrong another is what apology is supposed to be.
    "A nation can survive its fools, and even the ambitious. But it cannot survive treason from within. An enemy at the gates is less formidable, for he is known and carries his banner openly. But the traitor moves amongst those within the gate freely, his sly whispers rustling through all the alleys, heard in the very halls of government itself. For the traitor appears not a traitor; he speaks in accents familiar to his victims, and he wears their face and their arguments, he appeals to the baseness that lies deep in the hearts of all men. He rots the soul of a nation, he works secretly and unknown in the night to undermine the pillars of the city, he infects the body politic so that it can no longer resist. A murder is less to fear"

    Cicero Marcus Tullius

  9. #19
    DEATH TO ANTARCTICA!!!
    Apocalypse's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2009
    Location
    Israel
    Last Seen
    Yesterday @ 07:22 PM
    Gender
    Lean
    Centrist
    Posts
    17,207

    Re: What Do You Think About Apologies?

    I really can't see how apologizing can be anything even near to 'showing strength'.
    I do not think it is generally a sign of weakness, however.
    I think it mostly depends on the situation.
    "The darkest places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in times of moral crisis."

    Dante Alighieri

  10. #20
    Student Sammyo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2009
    Last Seen
    08-29-09 @ 04:29 PM
    Lean
    Undisclosed
    Posts
    185

    Re: What Do You Think About Apologies?

    Quote Originally Posted by Apocalypse View Post
    I really can't see how apologizing can be anything even near to 'showing strength'.

    Strength is sometimes wrapped in a cloak of weakness, humility, or shame.

Page 2 of 4 FirstFirst 1234 LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •