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Is hate a Choice?

Is Hate a Choice?


  • Total voters
    41
Psychopaths are born and not made. Hate is a poison of the mind. It is emotion. It is the easiest emotioni to recognize because it is so physical.
Hate is in the same family as anger, just more extreme. Psychopaths lie with ease and are very charming. John Wayne Gacy is a famous psychopath. Even after a piece of journalism proved his credentials for holding an important role in his community weere bogus, the community supported him even after it was proved that he lied. Gacy predicted they would support him because he had charmed them.

Psychopaths make up 1% of the general population, but 25% of the prison population, according to Dr. Hare. "Violence is not uncommon among offender populations, but psychopaths still manage to stand out," he says. "They commit more than twice as many violent and aggressive acts, both in and out of prison, as do other criminals."

1. Glibness/superficial charm

2. Grandiose sense of self-worth

3. Need for stimulation/proneness to boredom

4. Pathological lying

5. Conning/manipulative

6. Lack of remorse or guilt

7. Shallow affect

8. Callous/lack of empathy

9. Parasitic lifestyle

10. Poor behavioural controls

11. Promiscuous sexual behaviour

12. Early behaviour problems

13. Lack of realistic, long-term plans

14. Impulsivity

15. Irresponsibility

16. Failure to accept responsibility for own actions

17. Many short-term relationships

18. Juvenile delinquency

19. Revocation of conditional release

20. Criminal versatility

21. Narcissism
The checklist is from the book; WITHOUT CONCIENCE by Robert D Hare, PHD.







Please link to the man who cures psychopaths please.

How the heck do you think someone could be born like that? :shock:


The film I saw on this was in the early 90's and I don't have the person's name. I don't think I said they were 'cured'. I said they began to be able to feel warmth for others. That is what the psychopath lacks. A lot of people not diagnosed as psychopaths also have the inability to feel empathy. For conclusive results the work would have had to continue. However it does show that healing is possible.

I have though found this. It may be the same person or it may be someone else. As this work was also stopped it possibly is the same person. This however is not what I saw. You will need to do a lot of reading. Here is an exert.

Dr BOB JOHNSON
"The reason that they are so anti-social
is that they really don’t care,
they have been taught they are of no
consequence, they have no self-esteem
and they don’t believe that any other
human-being is of any merit or value
at all. So therefore they are quite
comfortable with the notion that if
you cut people up and chop them up, or
put them through the mincer which is
what you hear and these people are
quite capable of doing that,
they register no feelings, they
have no value system there because
they’ve never been taught any value
system."

........


Tom Mangold
"Dr Johnson’s starting point in therapy
with men like Lee was that predators
are not born evil they simply learn to
become evil often from childhood
trauma they’ve never talked about
before."


Dr Bob Johnson
"I would sit down with them, get to
know them first, this is the first
thing. I would establish a trusting
straight-forward relationship with
them, something that many of them had
never had before and this took a long
time in some cases, a matter of years.
And then I would discuss with them the
deepest fears they’d had, the fears
from childhood, the traumas they’d
suffered, things that they would not
wish to talk about at all, that was
the key. There was a terror in
childhood that they blocked off. I
used to call it frozen terror or
buried terror. Every single one, they
wouldn’t all reveal it, they wouldn’t
all discuss it, some discussed it sort
of indirectly or moved themselves, but
there’s no question in my mind now
that inside every memory there was a
toxic memory which is this terror."



http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/static/audio_video/programmes/panorama
 
I hate Onions. I want the entire Allium genus to go extinct.

.

Say it ain't so, Tucker!!

11026WH.JPG
 
Say it ain't so, Tucker!!

11026WH.JPG


Sung to "Paint it black"

I see a scallion and I want it to be dead
No onions anymore I want them to be dead
I see the chives you put in my baked po-ta-to
I have to turn my head before my rage explodes
I see some shallots and I want to make them dead
I had to eat them all before I went to bed.
You can place the blame for this upon my dear old dad,
He made me eat them even though they taste so bad!

I wanna see the whole
Mutha ****in' genus die!
Even garlic! Which I like, has gotta die!
 
Sung to "Paint it black"

I see a scallion and I want it to be dead
No onions anymore I want them to be dead
I see the chives you put in my baked po-ta-to
I have to turn my head before my rage explodes
I see some shallots and I want to make them dead
I had to eat them all before I went to bed.
You can place the blame for this upon my dear old dad,
He made me eat them even though they taste so bad!

I wanna see the whole
Mutha ****in' genus die!
Even garlic! Which I like, has gotta die!



Should I assume that was you in St Petersburg when the blitzkrieg raged and the garlic stank?
 
Due some reading and attend to brain differences in psychopaths. I hope you never run into them. They thrive on the naive and are great manipulators.

How the heck do you think someone could be born like that? :shock:


The film I saw on this was in the early 90's and I don't have the person's name. I don't think I said they were 'cured'. I said they began to be able to feel warmth for others. That is what the psychopath lacks. A lot of people not diagnosed as psychopaths also have the inability to feel empathy. For conclusive results the work would have had to continue. However it does show that healing is possible.

I have though found this. It may be the same person or it may be someone else. As this work was also stopped it possibly is the same person. This however is not what I saw. You will need to do a lot of reading. Here is an exert.





http://news.bbc.co.uk/hi/english/static/audio_video/programmes/panorama
 
this does not mean much to me... Someone rapes your child, how do you NOT hate this person?

You hate the person, but it is a choice to do so, even if it doesn't feel that way at the time.

There are people who are able to turn around their minds and hearts even after such a devastating life experience as the rape of a child. It doesn't mean the deed goes without punishment and it doesn't mean there is true reconciliation between the victims family and the perpetrator.

I'm thinking of victims who are opposed to the death penalty, for example.
 
Special Note: Hate is a natural reaction / emotion to certain things. It is a very human thing to feel hate at times.
And as such, hate is not a choice. You cannot choose how you feel, you can only choose what you do with those feelings.

Hate, true hate, is a major investement in time and energy, and requires a significant emotional attachment.
Few people truly understand that.
 
Hate, true hate, is a major investement in time and energy, and requires a significant emotional attachment.
Few people truly understand that.

I hate no one. I despise, at times, my ex-husband, for the effects he has on my kids, but I don't even hate him. Hate requires a lot of energy, and I'm already too busy. Now, schadenfreude, that's a feeling I can get into. Laughing at stupid people is another satisfying activity. But hate? psht. Who has time for that?
 
And as such, hate is not a choice. You cannot choose how you feel, you can only choose what you do with those feelings.

Hate, true hate, is a major investement in time and energy, and requires a significant emotional attachment.
Few people truly understand that.

Holding on to hate is a choice. One that as you say requires significant amount of energy.

It's like holding tight to a hot poker. Hate hurts YOU. The best revenge to your enemies is a well lived happy life. When they get to you, you lose.
 
Holding on to hate is a choice.
No so much -- you cannot choose how you feel, you can only choose what you do with the feelings.

Its entirely possible that time will diffuse the emotion and the hate will go away. Its entirely possible that it will not -- it all depends on the degree of emotonal attachment upon which the hate is based.

The best revenge to your enemies is a well lived happy life. When they get to you, you lose.
Its not about winning or losing or any of that.
If you think so, then you do not understand true hate.
 
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How exactly is hate taught?

Hate arises from within. It's a reaction.

Children are taught plenty of things from their parents. Children are like sponges - they soak everything up. Growing up with parents that are hateful WILL contaminate children. Children are not stone, although they probably wish they were if they grow up with hateful parents.

With very little children, hate more than likely arises from "without" - and not from "within". It is understandable a child would hate its parents if its parents were hateful towards it. Who puts those feelings into the child? They do now arise on their own. Little children are almost totally impressionable, and clueless to their own emotions. But if they are hated over being loved, then then they will hate instead of love, also.

Parents teach their children love, and in the same way, hate can also be taught. We learn by experience, and if children experience hate in the home, they will learn to hate.

I do not buy the "born with it" label. I just don't. There are reasons for things. They might be the screwiest, most unimaginable, most incomprehensible reasons, but there will be reasons, all the same.

Saying that people are born that way, to my mind, lacks the brevity to want to delve and enquire further.
 
I hate Onions. I want the entire Allium genus to go extinct.

Is that a choice? I don;t think so. It's caused by my parents making me eat them when I was a kid even though they are the worst tasting thing ever put on this Earth.

My hatred was both natural and taught. It is a natural byproduct of my experience and knowledge of onions being inherently evil and sent to this Earth by Satan to destroy our moral fiber.

That's enough to make an onion cry. :(
 
How the heck do you think someone could be born like that? :shock:

I think it's called Psychopathic-Baby-Syndrome. :shock:

Yet to be written up in the DSM... but there's still time!
 
Children are taught plenty of things from their parents. Children are like sponges - they soak everything up. Growing up with parents that are hateful WILL contaminate children. Children are not stone, although they probably wish they were if they grow up with hateful parents.

With very little children, hate more than likely arises from "without" - and not from "within". It is understandable a child would hate its parents if its parents were hateful towards it. Who puts those feelings into the child? They do now arise on their own. Little children are almost totally impressionable, and clueless to their own emotions. But if they are hated over being loved, then then they will hate instead of love, also.

Parents teach their children love, and in the same way, hate can also be taught. We learn by experience, and if children experience hate in the home, they will learn to hate.

I do not buy the "born with it" label. I just don't. There are reasons for things. They might be the screwiest, most unimaginable, most incomprehensible reasons, but there will be reasons, all the same.

Saying that people are born that way, to my mind, lacks the brevity to want to delve and enquire further.

No it doesn't gwen. I'm very interested in psychopathy. Some people are genetically predisposed to mental illness--think bipolar and schizophrenia. Their brains are literally wired differently.

Some people are born without empathy. They are like the color blind. They can manage in the world and memorize where the red light is but they don't see the variations of color.
 
Is hate a choice? If it is, why would anyone choose it? It's not good for us or anyone around us. Bad for emotional / physical health. Has a way of making us look / sound ugly, and it ties our insides up in knots. Poisons relationships, spreads ill-will, creates unnecessary stress, and it also has a tendency to escalate / turn into violent / aggressive behaviour if left unchecked. Hate dehumanises people, which is one of the worst things it does.

Special Note: Hate is a natural reaction / emotion to certain things. It is a very human thing to feel hate at times. I'm not talking about the kind of hate we feel in the moment that passes quickly, or at least, passes reasonably quickly, I am not talking about a natural reaction of hate that is triggered in us in an "immediate" situation happening around us. I am talking about an "attitude of hate". An attitude of hate that "prevails" and becomes part of persons prominent makeup - a part of their constant dialogue - where a person expresses strong hatred towards others in the shape / form of attacking / scapegoating / one particular group or another, be they women or homosexuals or Jews, and on.

Is hate a choice? If yes, why choose it? It's incredibly destructive as a behaviour / and it cuts us off from genuine human engagement with others. Hate doesn't seem to have much going for it. What do you think?

Please choose whichever answer/s resonate with you.
I had to go with other, I think hate is a two-fold thing, hate is learned and sometimes appropriate, often times not, but always a cycle, the choice comes in breaking that cycle. If we got down to hating groups of people for their differences, then breaking the cycle of hatred is obviously healthy, however if hating behaviors that are destructive such as genocidal regimes, gangs, etc. then obviously keeping vigilance is justified, it really is about context.
 
Some people are born without empathy.

Baby's come into the world "whole", and not missing their empathy component.

Show the baby lack of empathy and it will have none to offer, either...

If a baby doesn't bond with its parents, is not mirrored by its parents, is not loved by its parents, how is it supposed to "know" empathy?

I think I'm more a fluid kind of person, and I don't buy "wired-differently". People CAN change. Just by limiting people to labels - serves to keep them where they are - tell a person that they are wired differently, and they might just believe it. On the other hand, tell them that there IS possibilty / hope that they can grow / can overcome their "condition" - and hey, we just may move the odd mountain or two!
 
Schadenfreude is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. Researchers have found that people with low self-esteem are more likely to feel schadenfreude than are people who have high self-esteem.

[ame]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude[/ame]
 
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Baby's come into the world "whole", and not missing their empathy component.

Show the baby lack of empathy and it will have none to offer, either...

If a baby doesn't bond with its parents, is not mirrored by its parents, is not loved by its parents, how is it supposed to "know" empathy?

I think I'm more a fluid kind of person, and I don't buy "wired-differently". People CAN change. Just by limiting people to labels - serves to keep them where they are - tell a person that they are wired differently, and they might just believe it. On the other hand, tell them that there IS possibilty / hope that they can grow / can overcome their "condition" - and hey, we just may move the odd mountain or two!

Babies come in brain damaged too. You are stuck on thinking in all cases, parents are to blame. Not with a psychopath.

I am interested in the ethics of labelling you point out is dangerous.

I do not use the label lightly.
 
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You hate the person, but it is a choice to do so, even if it doesn't feel that way at the time.

There are people who are able to turn around their minds and hearts even after such a devastating life experience as the rape of a child. It doesn't mean the deed goes without punishment and it doesn't mean there is true reconciliation between the victims family and the perpetrator.

I'm thinking of victims who are opposed to the death penalty, for example.


:lol: Hate is a choice. I agree. I also believe it can be a valuable tool....
 
They are like the color blind. They can manage in the world and memorize where the red light is but they don't see the variations of color.

Off topic: That's not really how it works at all. We don't memorize where the red light is. That's a myth that was created by people with normal color vision that has absolutely no basis in reality. The red light and the green light are at totally different in their "degree of color" and are easily differentiated.

We wouldn't be able to drive at night at all if this idea was actually true because there is no way to tell which light (top or bottom) was the one that is lit.

In my life I have only encountered two situations where my color-blindness has been an issue with Stoplights:

1. The shade of the yellow light is not uniform. It often varies from one stoplight to the other. If it is darker, it might appear to be the red light. If it is a lighter yellow, it might seem green. And even then, it is only ever a factor if it is close to one of these extremes AND you have glanced away during the moment when the light has changed from green to yellow AND it all happens at night.

In 16 years of driving, this has happened to me one time that I can remember

2. This one actually would support the memorization concept if it were common, but thankfully it isn't. There is one stoplight near my home that has a really light shade of red for the red light. At night, I can't tell if it is green or red. This is extremely uncommon, and I have only found this one stoplight that has this issue. What I do is avoid this stoplight at night altogether. That is an extreme case though.



Returning to psychopathy topic (bear with me, it'll make sense in a few paragraphs):

What actually occurs with color-blind people is that they learn to associate the names of colors quite differently than those with normal color-vision do. We can differentiate the different shades of a color better than a person with normal vision can, actually. If you were to place two similar blues next to each other, the colorblind person would do a better job telling the two apart than a person with normal vision would.

There may indeed be a natural re-wiring of the brain involved, or it might be a learned adaptation. Studies have shown that colorblind people will actually name a color correctly at a very high rate (approaching 90% accuracy). But they won't be able to differentiate between a red and a brown and a green of the same level of "intensity".

My theory on this is actually based on the commonness of a particular intensity of a color. If a certain shade of red is very common but actually looks like a certain shade brown through my eyes that is not very common, I will "name" both the common red and uncommon brown as "red" even though what I actually see is brown in both cases.

Conversely, if I see an uncommon shade of red that looks like a common shade of brown to me, I will call both of them "brown".

This makes it so that the basic principles of red, green, brown, etc have no frame of reference for me. I name colors based on what is most often correct when I see that shade and not on what I actually see. To me, certain browns are "red" even though I see brown just fine. The concept of red doesn't exist for me as it does for normal folks.

In this way, it relates to psychopaths. They have no natural capacity for empathy, but they can LEARN what behavioral responses will get them the best rewards. They can learn to emulate empathy, but they can never truly understand empathy.

Empathy for them is like Purple for me. It's a lovely concept in theory, but they'll just have to take your word for it that it exists.
 
Schadenfreude is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. Researchers have found that people with low self-esteem are more likely to feel schadenfreude than are people who have high self-esteem.

But people with normal to high self esteem also experience it, right? So BFD. My self esteem is quite high and I love when someone gets their's. It's one of the great pleasures in life, actually.
 
I think all of them are true in some way or another.
 
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