View Poll Results: Is Hate a Choice?

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  • Hate is a choice - a person chooses to hate

    29 63.04%
  • Hate is not a choice - hateful people are unconscious to their own behaviour

    6 13.04%
  • Hateful people have a mental illness

    4 8.70%
  • Hateful people have given up on themselves and no longer care if they are decent people or not

    3 6.52%
  • Hateful people deserve our compassion because they're in such bad shape as human beings

    5 10.87%
  • Other

    16 34.78%
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Thread: Is hate a Choice?

  1. #111
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    Re: Is hate a Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Goobieman View Post
    And as such, hate is not a choice. You cannot choose how you feel, you can only choose what you do with those feelings.

    Hate, true hate, is a major investement in time and energy, and requires a significant emotional attachment.
    Few people truly understand that.
    Holding on to hate is a choice. One that as you say requires significant amount of energy.

    It's like holding tight to a hot poker. Hate hurts YOU. The best revenge to your enemies is a well lived happy life. When they get to you, you lose.

  2. #112
    Banned Goobieman's Avatar
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    Re: Is hate a Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by windovervocalcords View Post
    Holding on to hate is a choice.
    No so much -- you cannot choose how you feel, you can only choose what you do with the feelings.

    Its entirely possible that time will diffuse the emotion and the hate will go away. Its entirely possible that it will not -- it all depends on the degree of emotonal attachment upon which the hate is based.

    The best revenge to your enemies is a well lived happy life. When they get to you, you lose.
    Its not about winning or losing or any of that.
    If you think so, then you do not understand true hate.
    Last edited by Goobieman; 07-22-09 at 10:54 AM.

  3. #113
    Student Gwendoline's Avatar
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    Re: Is hate a Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by windovervocalcords View Post
    How exactly is hate taught?

    Hate arises from within. It's a reaction.
    Children are taught plenty of things from their parents. Children are like sponges - they soak everything up. Growing up with parents that are hateful WILL contaminate children. Children are not stone, although they probably wish they were if they grow up with hateful parents.

    With very little children, hate more than likely arises from "without" - and not from "within". It is understandable a child would hate its parents if its parents were hateful towards it. Who puts those feelings into the child? They do now arise on their own. Little children are almost totally impressionable, and clueless to their own emotions. But if they are hated over being loved, then then they will hate instead of love, also.

    Parents teach their children love, and in the same way, hate can also be taught. We learn by experience, and if children experience hate in the home, they will learn to hate.

    I do not buy the "born with it" label. I just don't. There are reasons for things. They might be the screwiest, most unimaginable, most incomprehensible reasons, but there will be reasons, all the same.

    Saying that people are born that way, to my mind, lacks the brevity to want to delve and enquire further.

  4. #114
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    Re: Is hate a Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Tucker Case View Post
    I hate Onions. I want the entire Allium genus to go extinct.

    Is that a choice? I don;t think so. It's caused by my parents making me eat them when I was a kid even though they are the worst tasting thing ever put on this Earth.

    My hatred was both natural and taught. It is a natural byproduct of my experience and knowledge of onions being inherently evil and sent to this Earth by Satan to destroy our moral fiber.
    That's enough to make an onion cry.

  5. #115
    Student Gwendoline's Avatar
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    Re: Is hate a Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by alexa View Post
    How the heck do you think someone could be born like that?
    I think it's called Psychopathic-Baby-Syndrome.

    Yet to be written up in the DSM... but there's still time!

  6. #116
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    Re: Is hate a Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwendoline View Post
    Children are taught plenty of things from their parents. Children are like sponges - they soak everything up. Growing up with parents that are hateful WILL contaminate children. Children are not stone, although they probably wish they were if they grow up with hateful parents.

    With very little children, hate more than likely arises from "without" - and not from "within". It is understandable a child would hate its parents if its parents were hateful towards it. Who puts those feelings into the child? They do now arise on their own. Little children are almost totally impressionable, and clueless to their own emotions. But if they are hated over being loved, then then they will hate instead of love, also.

    Parents teach their children love, and in the same way, hate can also be taught. We learn by experience, and if children experience hate in the home, they will learn to hate.

    I do not buy the "born with it" label. I just don't. There are reasons for things. They might be the screwiest, most unimaginable, most incomprehensible reasons, but there will be reasons, all the same.

    Saying that people are born that way, to my mind, lacks the brevity to want to delve and enquire further.
    No it doesn't gwen. I'm very interested in psychopathy. Some people are genetically predisposed to mental illness--think bipolar and schizophrenia. Their brains are literally wired differently.

    Some people are born without empathy. They are like the color blind. They can manage in the world and memorize where the red light is but they don't see the variations of color.

  7. #117
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    Re: Is hate a Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwendoline View Post
    Is hate a choice? If it is, why would anyone choose it? It's not good for us or anyone around us. Bad for emotional / physical health. Has a way of making us look / sound ugly, and it ties our insides up in knots. Poisons relationships, spreads ill-will, creates unnecessary stress, and it also has a tendency to escalate / turn into violent / aggressive behaviour if left unchecked. Hate dehumanises people, which is one of the worst things it does.

    Special Note: Hate is a natural reaction / emotion to certain things. It is a very human thing to feel hate at times. I'm not talking about the kind of hate we feel in the moment that passes quickly, or at least, passes reasonably quickly, I am not talking about a natural reaction of hate that is triggered in us in an "immediate" situation happening around us. I am talking about an "attitude of hate". An attitude of hate that "prevails" and becomes part of persons prominent makeup - a part of their constant dialogue - where a person expresses strong hatred towards others in the shape / form of attacking / scapegoating / one particular group or another, be they women or homosexuals or Jews, and on.

    Is hate a choice? If yes, why choose it? It's incredibly destructive as a behaviour / and it cuts us off from genuine human engagement with others. Hate doesn't seem to have much going for it. What do you think?

    Please choose whichever answer/s resonate with you.
    I had to go with other, I think hate is a two-fold thing, hate is learned and sometimes appropriate, often times not, but always a cycle, the choice comes in breaking that cycle. If we got down to hating groups of people for their differences, then breaking the cycle of hatred is obviously healthy, however if hating behaviors that are destructive such as genocidal regimes, gangs, etc. then obviously keeping vigilance is justified, it really is about context.
    Neither side in an argument can find the truth when both make an absolute claim on it.

    LMR

  8. #118
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    Re: Is hate a Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by windovervocalcords View Post
    Some people are born without empathy.
    Baby's come into the world "whole", and not missing their empathy component.

    Show the baby lack of empathy and it will have none to offer, either...

    If a baby doesn't bond with its parents, is not mirrored by its parents, is not loved by its parents, how is it supposed to "know" empathy?

    I think I'm more a fluid kind of person, and I don't buy "wired-differently". People CAN change. Just by limiting people to labels - serves to keep them where they are - tell a person that they are wired differently, and they might just believe it. On the other hand, tell them that there IS possibilty / hope that they can grow / can overcome their "condition" - and hey, we just may move the odd mountain or two!

  9. #119
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    Re: Is hate a Choice?

    Schadenfreude is pleasure derived from the misfortunes of others. Researchers have found that people with low self-esteem are more likely to feel schadenfreude than are people who have high self-esteem.

    [ame]http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Schadenfreude[/ame]
    Last edited by windovervocalcords; 07-22-09 at 11:57 AM.

  10. #120
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    Re: Is hate a Choice?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gwendoline View Post
    Baby's come into the world "whole", and not missing their empathy component.

    Show the baby lack of empathy and it will have none to offer, either...

    If a baby doesn't bond with its parents, is not mirrored by its parents, is not loved by its parents, how is it supposed to "know" empathy?

    I think I'm more a fluid kind of person, and I don't buy "wired-differently". People CAN change. Just by limiting people to labels - serves to keep them where they are - tell a person that they are wired differently, and they might just believe it. On the other hand, tell them that there IS possibilty / hope that they can grow / can overcome their "condition" - and hey, we just may move the odd mountain or two!
    Babies come in brain damaged too. You are stuck on thinking in all cases, parents are to blame. Not with a psychopath.

    I am interested in the ethics of labelling you point out is dangerous.

    I do not use the label lightly.
    Last edited by windovervocalcords; 07-22-09 at 12:16 PM.

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