I don't know--it would depend (describe circumstances)
Last edited by Dr_Patrick; 06-25-09 at 09:38 AM.
For me, it is an honor thing. You give your word, either directly in the case of marriage, or indirectly before marriage, to be faithful to one person. If you cannot honor your word, trust is gone.
I understand and accept the idea of open relationships, but they are not for me.
The OP assumes it something requiring forgiveness. So then is assumes a promise not to have sex with someone else if the OP means sex with someone else by cheating. Cheating could be spending more money than in the monthly budget or cheating while playing cards with each other.
I can’t imagine my wife having sex with someone else because of her religious and moral values. But if she did I wouldn’t leave her or put her out. I almost would feel it would somehow be closer to fair between us. I’m not sure what attitude she’d take towards me if I did, which I intend to never do or see it happening for many reasons besides she’s incredibly good in bed. I have great appreciation for her and what she has done for my life. Among those is showing me what decency is.
The 104 in my ID comes from a few years ago when someone asked me how many women I’d had sex with whose name I could even remember to that point in my life. I pondered that for a few days and did a count. That was it. Only whose name I could remember. It continued to grow until meeting the woman I was to marry. Those I couldn’t remember even the name of probably is even larger than that. For my wife the pre-marriage count of sex partners is zero. Beautiful virgin marries slutty beast thing.
Marriage was a positive decision to completely change my life. I deeply wanted the change. Finding someone for that was not easy for what my associations and life style was. I don’t think I even knew what decent behavior was. I had met hundreds of women I wanted sex with but not one woman I would want even just for a girlfriend. My wife coming into my life was like a rescuing angel pulling me out of what had seemed cool and just how life is to increasingly seemingly like hell to me (she says that is who she is too.) I gave up hard drugs, frequently getting drunk, bar fights and whore-mongering to name a few.
The only problem I had was believing that the change was even possible for me as it was of a life I never knew existed or even thought could exist. For the longest time I couldn’t even touch her because I felt like it would be putting greasy mechanic’s hands on a perfect and completely unique work of art.
My entire life from my birth had been in the lowest gutter of sex, violent and drugs. Until marriage my entire adult life’s measure was the ability to screw the best looking barfly of the night, scoring the best dope, and the ability to beat the s…t out of any guy who f…ked with me. Those were my only measure of the success. At first it self impresses. Then it becomes routine. Then it comes to really suck like being stuck in a black hole no longer worth the minimal effort to have those successes.
A reason I doubt I’ll ever cheat is because there is no challenge in having women and easy women become not worth 5 minutes effort to get her and ultimately even repulsive. Another reason is because I deeply respect and appreciate my life and life style with my wife. Nor was any woman as good as she is in bed. Lack of experience would seem to contradict that but the opposite proved true.
You can’t have both ways.
A person can’t be a husband and father while sticking needles in his arm. You have to pick one or the other. Depending on the marriage relationship, the same is true of sleeping around. That would depend upon the relationship and understandings of it. My “cheating” on her (in any way) would be a total contradiction of what I want in marriage.
I guess I am the only one who said yes.
I and my wife have been together for so long and been through so much I can't imagine my life without her. At this point I could pretty much forgive her for almost anything.
We have never cheated (never felt the need to) but if she did, I could forgive her.
No Lives Matter
The same is true of "sleeping around". Doesn't mean you're not husband and father (or wife and mother). Just calls into question how good you are at those responsibilities.
My answer also is yes. I'm not sure why it didn't show if you also said yes.
Yes, depending on the circumstances.
A heat of passion type of thing I could more easily forgive. Once.
An ongoing relationship wherein I was lied to constantly, there were feelings involved between them, etc, would be extremely difficult - if not impossible - for me to forgive. Unless I had seriously been neglecting them or something. Even then, it would be difficult.
So really, for me, it's an emotional thing. I guess it boils down to the fact that I value the emotions, feelings, and actual relationship more than just a physical encounter. If I felt cheated on emotionally, that would be much harder or even impossible to forgive.